Tuesday, 30 September 2014

I've Got Questions For Y'all Today...

Hahahaaaaa! Maybe she is a really really  loyal customer and the bank was just checking up on her? Just maybe?

I saw this picture on instagram, while it cracked me up, it got me thinking. Why do people cheat on their significant others? Married or unmarried, why do people cheat generally? It seems like infidelity is the order of the day. The way married men sit and gist about their girlfriends will never cease to amaze me.

At what point is it considered cheating? When it gets physical? Someone once said if you have to delete messages so your significant other does not see, then you should check yourself as you might be on your way to cheating. Do you agree? I know someone who says it is cheating if you kiss while another said as soon as you make an emotional connection with someone else, cheating begins.

I have a friend who actually saved his side chick's name on his phone as 'Lazarus Carpenter'. Her name was Elizabeth. What puzzled me was how proud  he seemed of himself when he was telling us about it. He told us his wife brought the phone to him when 'Lazarus' was calling...."What if she had answered as per na carpenter na?" Is what I asked him and he began to say errr, errm, no, she wouldn't have.

I probably would have answered the call just to ask 'him' which of the Lazarus' he was named after. Ehen, you see how if he had a wife like me, yawa will just gas for him because instead of a Lazarus' voice, she would hear Elizabeth's.

He had another girlfriend named Paulina and he saved her name as Paul plumber....smh. Now I am worried for this my friend. I should go for update to hear how all the coded names have worked for him so far. *i hope he was caught*

Now I need to ask....Have you ever cheated or had someone cheat on you?
As the cheater, did you have to code names and stuff? Or how did the cheatee go about it?
Were you caught?
Did you 'fess up?
Do you regret it?
If given a chance, would you cheat (again)?
Is there something that pushes a person to cheat?

Here are my answers:
Yes, I have cheated.
No, I wasn't caught.
I stopped because it wasn't worth the trouble. 
Am I proud of myself? No.
Did I confess? No!
Did I have a good reason to cheat? Errr....Not really.
Will I cheat again? No....I do not plan to.
So help me God!

Monday, 29 September 2014

Just The Way You Are

You are beautiful just the way you are.
How many times have we heard that line? In the movies, in the books, and the in the lyrics of some songs.
I've heard it a million times. But the one time I couldn't forget that was one afternoon when I was feeling lost. I was just starting on my first job then. I was 20, a fresh grad, hungry and full of dreams.
I was still vulnerable and naive. Naturally, a little gossip and badmouthing could shatter me. I couldn't remember what issue got me really down then but I remember questioning myself. Was there something wrong with me? Was I too different? What do I need to fit in, to be like the rest so they won't always see me and my mistakes?

Just then I heard Joey McIntyre's song play:
Don't you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you're better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same,
'cause there's nothing 'bout you I would change.

Coincident? I don't think so. I must have looked like a loony looking crestfallen then suddenly breaking into a smile. I felt God reassuring me that the world will try to change me into something or someone I'm not, but I am exactly the way He created me to be.
I was, still am, and will always be enough.
I was, still am, and will always be beautiful just the way I am.

I was, still am, and will always be the apple of His eye.

Because He doesn't create rejects.
Because I am not here by mistake. I have a purpose.
Because He created every cell of my body intricately.
Because He knit me together in my mother's womb.
Because I am His, He created me in His own image and likeness.
Because He said so.
No rumor, no gossip, no badmouthing, no criticism, no lies can change that.
No mistake, no error, and no failure from my end can lessen His love for me.
No one can tell me I'm not good enough or I'm not worthy.
Because Someone important laid down His life for me, as He did for you.
Because my love, you are beautiful and you are worthy just the way you are.
Why fit in when you were born to stand out?
---Dr. Seuss
Beautifully written by the lovely SuperLux. Thank you so much for allowing me share. She bares her soul on baredmysoul.blogspot.com 

Please visit her BLOG and I promise, You will be blessed richly. I did and I am glad.
God bless us all and have yourselves a beautiful week ahead

Saturday, 27 September 2014

Did You Know....

  • A group of Frogs is called an army.
  • A group of Rhinos is called a crash.
  • A group of Kangaroos is called a mob.
  • A group of Whales is called a pod.
  • A group of Geese is called a gaggle.
  • A group of Fish is called a school. 
  • A group of Owls is called a parliament.
  • A group of Crows  is called a murder.
  • A group of Bats called a colony.
  • A group of Eagles is called a Congress or a Convocation. 
  • A group of Giraffes is called a tower.
  • A group of Goats is called a tribe.
  •  A group of Lions is called a pride.
  • A group of Horses is called a team.
  • A group of Rabbits is called a colony.
  • A group of Wolves is called a pack.
  • A group of Sharks is called a shiver.
  • A group of Cockroaches is called an intrusion 
  • A group of Flies is called a business

Thursday, 25 September 2014

Let's Talk About Love...

Hiya my people! I believe we are all good. Yeah? Cool.
Allow me to wish Momma Reese a happy birthday and many more prosperous years on earth. (Pssst! FUNMI, what did you get for her?)

Today, I want us to talk about love. How do you decide that you are in love with a person? What is it about a person that makes you fall in love with them? Is it looks, character, financial status, height, complexion or their spirit? 

Well, I saw this picture of Dabota Lawson and her fiance at an occasion and I was a bit surprised. Why? Have you taken a good look at this picture? The girl is an ex-beauty queen. Plus she is that much taller than he is. Well, I wasn't surprised when I read that he is a billionaire. 
Aha! That explains it right? But does it really? Are we saying that a pretty young girl cannot fall in love with a not so fine looking and shorter  man? I went on to read the comments the picture attracted and i felt ashamed that my thoughts were same as all those people's.

But my major problem with this picture is that she did not insist on using a little out of the billions to get him a nice looking suit. Haba! I am pained jor. Ehen, back to the matter,  I believe a lot of us girls have this perfect picture of how we want our men to look. As a young lady growing up, I had the perfect picture of the man of my dreams. And with time, I found him...(Yes, I found Idris Elba just that he hasn't found me yet.) You see, Idris is perfection to me. What is there not to like? The height? The complexion? The lips? Biko, tell me one thing not to like about Idris Elba.I dare ya!
Idris Elba
You see him abi? I am sure you understand. Now I am wondering how many of us would leave a poor Idris Elba type looking guy for a man who looks like the daddy up in the other picture. And why would you? For love or for the money?

The corper in my office (lets call her Monsura) is quick to say "he is not fine" about guys. In my whole office complex, the girl thinks only one guy is "fine" but she is crazy for Don Jazzy because "he is cool and I like his swag" *I am not saying Don Jazzy isn't fine oh* but what business does a girl who is all for good looks have with loving Don Jazzy biko? 

Monsura swears it is not about his money but because of "the aura around him and I like his effizie" *Yimu* And somehow, none of the close to a hundred men in the office complex has the aura, swag and effizie shey? Yimu for her again jor. Anyway, she ended up saying she believes "every man should have money to take care of his girlfriend". So, would all that aura and swag talk be there if Don Jazzy isn't The Don Jazzy?

Now, I know that those two could truly be in love, but do you think that maybe, just maybe the Billionaire tile may have influence or triggered the love?
Do you agree?
Please, let us discuss. Do you believe that a man's financial status makes it easier for him to get the prettiest girls out there? And would you as a lady choose to be with a man because of his financial status?

PS: Please if you have a way of contacting the Don Dorobucci, let me know so we can get Monsura to meet him and his aura and swag biko.

PPS: Greys Anatomy and Scandal are back!!! RIP to my data bundle coz I am going to start downloading and not care!

PPPS: Hiya DURU! (You know why.)

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

Let them be kids!!!

 I do not understand why some people (mothers) will not let kids be kids. I am not trying to be judgmental here (ok,maybe just a little bit and I am sorry) but common, why do you have make up on a one year old? Why are you braiding her hair? And why is a child less than 10 getting weaves fixed?

So you are wondering who pissed me off right? This is what happened, the other day at the salon, and this baby was crying so bad I almost thought she was being amputated without anesthesia. You get the picture right? I was worried and I had to ask the lady fixing my hair what was wrong with the little girl. "Na braiding" was the response I got.

Now, we all know that while I mind my business at the salon, I do not really mind my business right? Just like This day at the salon so anyway, I tried hard to block out the wailing of this little girl when I heard "sorry, sorry no cry" beside me. Whattapun? Hot water happened. On another little girl who I am guessing could not have been more than ten years old. You know how they use hot water to make the hair "relax" after braiding? Yes, that didn't go well for her, the hot water burnt her, baby girl began to cry and all she got was sorry, no cry. Why she no go cry? The day that shit happened to me, I almost cried!

Those ones who even make braids with colored wool are the worsetest! I bet these babies would be mad when they grow up and see pictures of them 'rocking' red or brown wool. Do you realize you just took away that child's right to 'throw back' pictures in the future? Because she would be ashamed to put that up except maybe as a surulere picture (that is where you show the suffer-head picture beside the "I have arrived' one ba?)

As an adult, I try to avoid hair styles that would require this hot water dipping business because even the steam hurts. Why put a baby through it? Fashion you say? Please! I prefer to see a kid with nice weaving cornrows, lovely beads and ribbons.

Finally, as the President of chopping panadol for other people's headache association, I am pained, I am worried and I think we should let babies be babies, kids be kids and at the right time, they can go ahead and do these things.


Monday, 22 September 2014

Crazy Things Included In A Marriage List

As seen on momentwithzoe and I am still in shock! Really?

1. 7 male goats for the elders
2. 7 female goats for the old women.
3. 120 years of Nigeria Wax for her sisters.
4. 3 Apple Laptops.
5. 5 pieces of bold 6 blackberries.
6. 50 liters of petrol.
7. A white bicycle for her uncle.
8. 200 pairs of bathroom slippers for the villagers.
9. 5 trip of sand and 20 bags of dangote cement.
And different type of orishirishi. The listed items were up to 50.

Well, the groom to be found his way back to obodo oyibo after sighting the list. Who'd blame him?
Is this normal? They do not give any lists here I come from, the normal thing is to bring salt and kola nuts for the introduction and 3 mats I think...and any other thing you add, na you sabi.

I bet you can imagine my shock when I saw laptops and blackberries on this list. Plus Dangote cement? lmao! They even specified the one they want. I cant shout biko.

What is the craziest thing you have seen in a marriage list? 
Thank you Zoe for allowing post this here.


No More Crumbs.

Hiya guys,  It's a new week, I am happy and thankful for life. I was really ill last week (can I blame TIBS for the fever?) but I am a lot better now and I am even at work! I still have another test to run but I am good and I am back.  But ehn, sickness sucks oh! Story for another day.... 

So, today I want us to understand the depth of God's love for us, His children. He is willing and ready to give us all that we ask for. Didn't He say in Matthew 7:7 that we should ask and it shall be given unto us, seek and we shall find....? Do you know why He said that? Because He can do it! Because nothing is too big for Him.  Didn't the Word also say "what no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human has conceived" are the things God has prepared for those who love Him?

So why are we afraid to ask Him big things? Why do we ask for crumbs from our father? I introduced you all to my teacher last week right? Well, today he has written what he titled No More Crumbs. Please read and be encouraged and also, visit his website francisagbo.com and subscribe to his daily motivational and I promise you wont regret it.

And desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell from the rich man’s table: moreover the dogs came and licked his sores. -Luke 16:21 KJV
Heaven bound Lazarus lived a downtrodden life. Lived on “crumbs”, troubled and tormented by sickness, pain and sorrow all his life. He was tail and not the head, behind instead of ahead. Instead of sitting at the table he is sitting under the table. A child of God but he is living like a slave. A son of the King but living like a slave. Feeding on scraps, handouts, hand me downs and crumbs. God had planned for him to have the whole loaf but he is feeding off scraps or crumbs that fall from the table.

Was it God's fault? No. Was it God's will that Lazarus feed on crumbs? Certainly not. God's plan for His children is always good. He can't do evil and He can't put evil on His children. God is a father and a loving Father. The devils chief tactic is to steal, kill and destroy and then turn around and draw attention away from him. He steals from you and tries to get you to believe that God is responsible for what he - the devil is doing. God is a good God always and He cannot do evil. It is impossible for God to do evil just as it is impossible for the devil to do good. God is the author of good always just as the devil is the author of evil always.

If it was not God's fault then whose fault was it that Lazarus lived on crumbs and lived a life full of sores- pains, sorrow, trouble, torment. It was not God's fault. Lazarus was at fault. He desired to be fed on the crumbs that fell off the rich man's table. His desire and expectation borne probably out of ignorance of the covenant was responsible for his lot. He desired crumbs and crumbs was what he got. Bible says the desire of the righteous shall be granted and that the expectation of the righteous shall not be cut short. He desired crumbs and he was not disappointed. Crumbs he expected and crumbs was what he obtained. He desired crumbs and he was not disappointed.

What is the lesson from all of this? If you don't like what you are getting then change your desire or expectation. God wants you to have the whole loaf and not crumbs. Stop settling for crumbs because your Father has prepared the whole loaf for you. Change your expectation and what you get will change. You are a child of the king not a slave. You ought to be at the table not under the table feeding on handouts and crumbs. You don't have to settle for less when God has prepared the best for you. Have positive expectations based on the promises of God in His word and you will have some positive things happening in your life. Arise and say no more crumbs but the whole. No more will I settle for less rather I will settle for the best. If you are His child you are heaven bound and should still experience heaven on earth. And Yes! No more crumbs.

By Pastor Francis Agbo.

Thursday, 18 September 2014

Keeping Secrets....

The Merriam-webster dictionary defines a secret as a fact or piece of information that is kept hidden from other people. That is clear enough right? So, do you have secrets? Can you keep a secret? How do you determine what should be kept secret? Who determines that? Is a secret only considered a secret if the person sharing says "don't tell anybody oh". What if it is something that could cause harm? Would you spill?

Personally, I am good at keeping secrets and sometimes I wish I didnt know half of what I know. Trust me, it is hard to keep a secret especially if it would make for correct juicy gist with your bestie. I am sure you know what I mean.

One of those better gist moments got me a thorough beating behind the intro tech  lab in my JSS 1. In my school, when you hear of a fight or beat-down behind the intro tech lab, you know shit had hit the ceiling mhen! And it becomes gist for days or maybe the whole term even.

So, here is what happened, I heard this juicy tale about one of my friends and well I did not know it was a secret so I shared. Innocently if i might add, hmmmm that is how I was lured to that dreaded intro tech lab oh and before I knew it, I was answering questions. Some serious "who told you?" "who did you tell?" "who asked you to tell anybody?" then a major punch was thrown in and another, and another. Those girls beat me ehn?!

I was like this for over a week
I was confused as the person that told me was right there also asking me questions. I was in shock that day and the odds were against me because I only went to the school in the second term (which is why I did not know about the lab, I would have refused to go with them) and those girls already had a bond right from the first term. So, guess who the bad guy was. Yup, it was me.
I became sort of an out cast for a few days before all went back to normal. But that is a day I will never forget. Guess what? I am still friends with most of the girls till today. I often feel tempted to ask if they remember that day or if they realized I was innocent but for some reason, none of us ever mentions that day.

Anyway, I learned a valuable lesson since then. I learned to pimp my mouth if I am not asked. I learned the act of keeping secrets. I cannot afford to get another beating in my life biko. The embarrassment has not faded away yet, I cant go and be adding more to it.


Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Life As An Identical Twin

Hi guys! Today we have our first ever lifeasvira blog guest writer! (wohoooooo!)I am sooooo excited that some one actually found this blog cool enough to write for.

Still giddy with excitement but I have to move along right? I have a question to ask. Here goes....have you ever wished you were something you are not and you know you will never be? I have.  I have always wished I had a twin sister. An identical twin with whom I could be all kinds of mischievous with. I keep imagining how I would even set her up on days she annoys me or just for the heck of it. 
I would be the one laughing
Well, it turns out I can never be a twin so I am praying really hard to have twins. Identical baby girls who I will play dress up with all the time and get to show off.

Our guest today has written all about life as a twin and I am so jealous because she is living the life I dream about.

This is her story....Living life as an identical twin...

So, I have this one basic deja-vu and it's the people asking me the same old question... Are you Mercy or Goodness... It happens like all the time, that's because I'm one of the luckiest to be a twin.
My name is Mercy Ayorinde and my twin sister Goodness is my mirror image. I'm an identical twin (so people think) supposedly born from the same zygote, so everything about us genetically is alike i.e physical appearances, mentality and even voice. My whole life has revolved around us being co-dependent. I have the privilege of having two soul mates: one before marriage(my twin sis) and the one after marriage(my spouse)...ridiculous isn't it?... I know that too. I basically live her life and she lives mine. Many people can't spot the difference so they call us Goodness and Mercy, some don't even care to know the difference coz they've tried their best. We feel very happy when one of our friends finally spots the difference coz the person must have paid much attention. But Goodness and I don't really care coz this mistake has been made so often.
We've had loads of funny, crazy, annoying, awesome and awkward moments including sad and unfortunate moments. We always argue about who's older. Well, I came out 60mins after her(its not my fault she came out too early), so whenever people ask who's older,she says she is and so do I "yorubalically, I'm the older one since they say I sent her to come take a look at the world (as if they were in the womb with us) but ideally she's the older one. But we don't care coz 60mins isn't such a big deal.... Is it?...*winks*
There was a time we slept soooooo deep that we fell from the bed, rolled under the bed that everyone in the neighbourhood was looking for those "thick headed girls" but couldn't find us. While they were preparing to go to the police station, my brother entered the room to pick his shoe from under the bed then he saw those crazy girls snoring in a silent mode with hands and legs on each other 'crashing'...lol!... It was an unforgettable experience.

Recently, she attended a class for me while I was making my hair. When I was done, she went out of the class then I entered, no one except a few people noted this and sometimes I use her ID card (shhhhhh.... it's a secret, I know it is wrong). I have had countless people come up to me with a dreamy look in their eyes saying I wish I were a twin, I'd love to have someone my age to play with (we always feel very important whenever we hear that).
Sometimes, it's quite embarrassing when people make such a big deal about us being twins. But most times, if people ask us questions it's really hard not to laugh. Some people be like "if I punch u, will she feel it?" (duh?!) And we're like we don't know... Do u want to give it a try? Sometimes they say are you really a twin or you just went to put on a different colour of clothes? (really?)

Now this is one of the annoying moments, while we were in secondary school, our discipline master gave me 3 strokes of cane all because he couldn't differentiate. After I finished crying, he was like "it's all the same thing". So much for being a twin.

Imagine shouting loud enough, almost waking the whole neighbourhood on Sunday morning, just because she wants to wear the skirt and blouse and I want to wear the gown...imagine delaying the hair dressers because she wants a side parting and I want all back... Imagine people saying your twin sis is finer than you *sad face*... Imagine talking on phone with your twin sis and people be like her boyfriend is making her laugh... Imagine sharing all ur friends with your twin sis (they are automatically her friends sef).
There are times we finish off each other's sentences and most times know what the other is thinking but there are differences. Sometimes, we act differently at extreme opposite ends of the scale... She's outgoing and I'm shy... I think I'm more emotional than she is *yay!* Sometimes, the littlest quarrel turns out to be a massive fight in which no one separates us (not even our parents) coz we would turn the aggression on you.

We have this mentality of having a boyfriend at the same time... We kinda have the same taste in guys and have a crush on the same guy(quite pointless). We want to get married on the same day, in the same venue, at the same time... Worst of all(probably best) having the same sex and number of kids at the same time.

On our birthday(November 20) its's always about us, I've never had the experience of it being all about me. Thank God we get the same type of gifts.
But despite our craziness, I always know she's got my back, I never felt alone or lonesome... I always feel the closeness with her that can't be replicated in any kinda friendship with anyone, not even my elder ones. Having a twin is like having a shadow that will never leave you... But right now we're feeling a tiny sense of loss coz it seems like we're not as identical as before.

So, there you have it. A little bit of Ayorinde Twinzteenz and yeah! We do wear same clothes, shoes and accessories-it's funky!
You see why I wish I had a twin? Still jealous.....
Do you have any questions for Mercy? Please ask.

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Little Loves....

Or Personal Favorites?....favorite things maybe? Well, I am sure you get the gist.
Do you have some little things that you just love to have or love when they happen to you or around you? Like when doors are opened for you? The occasional foot rub here and there? Presents just because...

You see, it turns out I have a veeeeeeery long list of the opposite of these little loves which i talked about HERE and now I want to talk about the little things or gestures that make me really happy. That make me feel oh so loved and sometimes even make me well up (nah, too tough to cry mhen) let me see, first up is having y'all blog visitors. I feel so blessed that I have all of you visiting this blog and commenting. I have made a few friends here and I am so grateful to you all.  Please keep coming and reach out to me whenever you want.

Next up, I love receiving presents. Especially when they come for no reason whatsoever (Thank you Monsura for yesterday).
  • Clouds. I love clouds and I can not say why.Cotton candy (I think this is because I love clouds)
  • Smell of babies (sans puke and poo).
  • Hot baths.
  • Forehead kisses from the Fave.
  • Finding money in my pockets.
  • The Fave's smile.
  • Giving hugs (especially to someone who needs it).
  • Getting hugs (all the time).
  • Polite people.
  • Cake!
  • Meat (fried, grilled, boiled, dried, just make it edible)
  • Nutella!

  • Road trips with the Fave
  • I love feeling loved.
  • Google!
  • Unexpected credit alerts!
  • The joy of taking off my bra at the end of the day.
  • I love driving with the music really loud....only when i am by myself.
  • I love to snuggle.
  • Yabbing my best friends gives me joy
  • I love when "Idris Elba calls to say good night Bae" (y'all know that only happens in my dreams right?)
  • Raindrops on roses. (lol! I just had to do that).
  • Hitting green lights my whole way home (like a bawse!)
  • Teaching children about basically anything that I know.
  • People who are willing to love and accept one another, inspite of their many differences.
  • Seeing very old couples happy together.
  • The moment of silence after listening to a good song.
  • When I accomplish something someone told me I could never do.
  • When I am appreciated.
  • You know tuwa da miyan kuka must be on this list right?
  • Most importantly on this list is knowing I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the imagine of He who has the whole world in His hands! 
So yeah, these are a few of my favorite things. Your turn! Please share with me and fellow blog visitors.