Life As Vira… The Real Vira.

So I hear my momma has been telling you all about Life as Vira. 

Vira as in….me?!

I wonder what she has been saying considering the fact that I just made it to this side of life…

Can I sue her for this? For impersonation or something?

Well, while I think about that, please allow me respectfully send warm greetings to you all and to tell you a wee bit about me… the real Vira.

* bobs head to the real Vira Slim Shady*

* As we all know, my name is Vira, short for Pwavira; a name my momma had decided to give to me long before she met me… and I’ve heard her say as the years went by and with so much that had happened, my name holds an even more special meaning to her. Pwavira means “God has given you to me”. Maybe someday she will tell you all about it but as it is not my story to tell, I shall be moving on.

* I was born on the 29th of October, I weighed 3kg and was 19 inches tall, and I am a lot bigger and taller now. 😁

* My mama says I am a miracle, a testimony and an answer to not just her prayers, but the prayers of my aunties, mommas, grandmas, friends and well wishers. Someday, I will ask her what she means and I will come tell you about it… after all, I am the real Vira and this is about me.

* bobbing head to The real Slim Shady*  You know, cz the real Vira is standing up… 

I’m sorry

I digress. 

* My mama says I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God… what a wawuuu! I must really be special! She said I am for signs and wonders and a blessing from the Lord which maketh rich and adds no sorrow… good stuff, good stuff to hear, I tell you! 

* Wait, you all know I am cute, right? 

   Right?  😁

* My mama also said God has great thoughts concerning me, thoughts of peace and not evil. She says I am a precious jewel in God’s hands… how amazing this sounds!

* I am mostly a good baby, I do not stress her much but I tend to keep her up at night and I know she loves a good sleep; I do this for fun, just because I can.

* When I sneeze, I sneeze biiiiig! Rarely once but 3 or 4 times at a go. Maybe this means I have some super powers 🤔… we shall be looking into this in the future. 

* I have a head full of hair; my mama said she prayed about this and I am glad God answered her prayer cuz if you know my mama’s hair situation, you’d be thanking God for me also …. Need I say more?  

* My ears are not pierced yet because it is not allowed here till I am 3 months old.. I don’t get why, but i hope that is enough time for the parents to save and get me some good ice… diamonds, that is. 😜

* I fart glitters

* My mama is obsessed with me. I catch her starring at me all the time and I just chill and maintain beauty while I think of how to use this obsession to my advantage. 

* I already know I am loved and I know my mama has the best set of friends and family who love me. Now I need to think of how to get them wrapped around my tiny little fingers…

* My mama says I look like her, my godmother, Chops says I look like her, my aunties all say I look like them… i guess I will decide to look like the highest bidder at some point. 

* I was welcomed into the family of the Most High by being dedicated to God in church. It was a beautiful ceremony and looked like fun for the adults as they ended the ceremony with a lot of food and drinks, which i think is unfair as I, the guest of honor was not offered anything to eat. No fair! 😠

Errrm… what more should I spill about me? 

*Oh yeah, have i said I keep my mama up at night… just cuz I can? 😁

* I do not cry during bath time. Yeah, I know I am cool like that. 😎

* I do not like it when my hair is washed or combed…. Largely cuz I do not trust my mama with my hair. not with dem edges i see on her. 😏

Well, I guess this is it about me for now, I will update you when there is more to tell. 

I have also been thinking about it and since it appears you seem to enjoy my mama’s gists, musings and occasional amebo, I will graciously allow her continue to use my name on the blog… for now:

which means my lawyers will not be contacting her lawyers…. for now. 

Thank you all for reading about me and also, allow me to thank everyone for the hearty welcome to the world. It has been amazing and full of love since I got here and I cannot wait to meet you all.

I wish you all a very very happy new year; may all your dreams, wishes and prayers for the new year come true. 

I love you.

XOXO

Pwavira.

The real Vira.

PS.

Thank you for indulging my crazy mama by reading along as though I wrote this, I am sure it means a lot to her but let’s not encourage such behavior in the future, please.

PSS.. 

I am officially handing over the rights to use my name to her before I decide if to call my lawyers.

Wetin I go find for Sokoto… My Visit To New York City.

Hey peoples!

You’re probably wondering what I am on about today again abi?

Well, if you are familiar with this saying, you already know how it ends…

‘Wetin I go find for Sokoto dey for my sokoto’….

So I visited the Big Apple.

With a mission.

I was prepared for this trip, I planned for weeks, I was super excited to get there and be a New Yorker and all of that. But my main reason for going to New York City was something I so much looked forward to, I could not wait. I even bought a selfie stick so I do not miss a moment of it. 

You’re wondering what it is, right?

Well, I was given the opportunity to choose where I wanted to spend Christmas and I chose NYC, because, well… it is New York City #duh, secondly, I really wanted to see/feel/experience snow. Yes, this Naija girl had not seen snow before so I thought, why not and where best?

That is how local girl was flown to New York City. 

Hmmmm the cold that grabbed me the minute we landed, I endured because I am in New York City na and I will see snow, abi? And the colder it gets, the more chances that it will snow, abi? Also, the thought of snapping photos in the snow, doing the whole snow angel ish fueled me. 

This was going to be me in all the plenty snow I was looking forward to.

I was prepared, the weather app was my best friend, it forecasted snow from the day after my arrival, all was good with me, I could not wait. 

My brothers and sisters, dudes and dudettes, ladies and gentlemen, that is how I spent 7 good days in New York, one tiny flake of snow like this, my eyes did not see. My fingers and toes, I could barely feel because the cold, the cold, the cold!!!!  *wipes lone tear*

That is how vacation was over, I carried myself back to my small town and a few days later, guess what? It snowed!

Yup, it snowed here, where I was told it had not snowed in about 4 years… ehn, it was not much, it was like two Naira snow that basically melted before it touched the ground but it did snow! 

Ah, come and see how local girl ran out to enjoy the snow… I did not care if anyone was looking at me, I made sure I enjoyed the moment. I was happy, I saw it, I felt it, I let it fall in my mouth… I was a happy somebody y’all!

This was me… with way less snow. 😒

Well, well, apart from the snow disappointment (which was major) the visit was cool, I visited really cool places and I had fun. As a true fan of the tv show Friends, I had to go to Central Park… it is huge but I did not stay long as it was super cold.  I visited Madam Tussaud (where I had a nice conversation with Thor and he told me I was worthy of Mjolnir, I may or may not be lying about this). I also visited the famous Times Square, Rockefeller center, China town, Broadway, Radio music hall, Fifth avenue and Carlos Barkery!

There were other places I wanted to visit but at some point, going out felt like punishment as the temperature was in the minuses so I advised myself accordingly. It was a fun visit altogether though I was snow heartbroken.  

Now, would I want to go back anytime soon? Hmmm no, I do not think so. Why, you ask? That city is basically a bigger Lagos with better light and nicer cars and taller buildings (ok, ok, maybe a whole lot nicer than Lagos but you get the point)  There was always crazy traffic, trash on the road sides, people everywhere, roadside food vendors, cars honking, cab guys driving like mad folk and cussing at each other… kilode?!  And I was even in Manhattan which is supposed to be the Lekki of NYC. Nah, I like my sanity please, plus the city did not keep to its promise of snow (yes, it is still paining me).

So… that is it about my visit to NYC, I will be back with gist of my visit to Las Vegas *does the sign of the cross*

XOXO 

Xtra! Xtra!!

 Read all about it! 

Holla peoples! It’s been ages, right? I do not know what happened to me but these past months, it feels like my fingers just refused to cooperate with the keypad even though I’ve been gisting y’all in my head.

As always, I say a big thank you to all those who checked on me and kept visiting the blog even when I do not put anything up.

So… this post really doesn’t have a bearing, I just want to gist you general gist about this place that I live and all the kinds of things my eyes have seen in this Biden’s America. I’ll tell y’all  what has stood out, surprised or vexed me in the past year I’ve been here.

You ready? Ok, let’s gist…

In case you are still wondering, yes, na okra… (i know, i know, it’s okro we knoweth) on a drink. And to this day!

To this very day, I’m still wondering what it is doing on a cup, then how in the world do you go about it? Take a sip of the drink, chop small kubewa, another sip, eat a shrimp? I don’t know and we did not bother to find out as no one touched that drink. The drink is called a Bloody Mary, in case you see it on a drink menu, you can like to skip it… you’re welcome.

I found out there are no public transportation in this town! Yes, it is a small town but not that small. Even small keke they don’t have. I keep wondering how people without cars manage, though I see some walking around and i really wonder how they manage it all together. This is a town with a population of 37,000 people! You get my concern now, right? Maybe i should buy small keke or start doing ‘along’ self.

Moving along, the road rules here include the fact that one can make a right turn even if the light is red. Just be sure it’s safe to do so. A person must change their ‘vehicle registration plate’ aka number plate and their driver’s license within 60 days of moving to a new state. Oh, people who ride motorbikes have same rights to the roads, so you’ll never see a bike by the side of any car waiting, they will take up space on the lane and be feeling cool…. 

Just like this uncle that just stood in my very before…

I’m not sure why I’m beefing sef. 🙈 

Ah, the summer here ehn, the summer is bloody! It be summering like say na fight.

 At some point, it was as hot as Yola with 37 degrees! Yeah, you read that right. It was crazy but it’s getting so much better now.

Oh, have I mentioned that they love their okra? After the okra in the drink, I got some in my salad and I can’t stop  wondering why? Why? Why?

 

Well, for me, if it ain’t in a soup, I don’t want it. Kalas!

Then I saw these in Walmart… 

I’m still wondering why…

Moving on… again…

This town is known for their mini meat pies; which are really nice but the thing that stands out for me is that the pies are served with some kind of dipping sauce. I’ve never tried the sauce cuz my Naija self knows that it is juice or minerals we drink when we eat meat pie. Abi?

Oh, another thing… there are a lot of elderly people who go shopping all by themselves and i always feel bad when i see them trying to get stuff off the shelves… the home training in me makes me stop to help them every now and then but I can’t stop wondering why they have to come all by themselves and no one really bothers to help them. 

I’ve also noticed some crosses and flowers by some road sides when we travel and I figured there might have been fatal accidents there and the loved ones choose to do that in honor of their loved ones. So I made a note to count how many of such I’d see on an hour journey to the neihbouring  town and I saw 3… yup, 3 (I sigh in Benin -Ore road or is it Yola - Gombe road?) those places would have been filled with flowers and crosses that there won’t be any ‘roads’ left to pass. 

Now, while that might not be all there have been, I believe they are few because the roads are good. No potholes, no unknown objects flying in the air and all that. 

Lastly but definitely not the least, NEPA has taken light just 3 times in the past 18 months since I’ve been here. Twice was because of a storm and the 3rd time, a transformer went booom! And all three times, power was restored in less that 2 hours!

I have had the opportunity to travel to some big and other smaller cities and I will tell you what I think about them, for now, these are some of the things about my small town. 

So like the terminator, I’ll be back! 

With gists…

XoXo

 

Maybe ''We Should All Be...”

Imagine your sister didn’t get a promotion just because “na woman na”?

Imagine you found out a female you love and care about didn’t get an opportunity to to go school because, yes… she’s female.

Imagine your best friend, sister, wife, girlfriend or mother earned less than her male colleagues just because… Yeah, you get.. she’s a woman.

Imagine your favorite aunt not getting the ticket to contest for a political position you know she is fit for just because the 35% graciously reserved for women in politics has been met?

Imagine your sister is denied any form of inheritance just because…. She is a she. 

You see where I’m going with this? 

Again, imagine what could have made that man somewhere in the North comfortable enough to come out and contest for the position of ‘woman leader’?

Imagine these and many more.

Now if your felt bad or wan kind imaging any of the above happening to your sister, mother, wife, girlfriend, best friend, auntie, neighbor’s sister or any female in your life, then MAYBE WE SHOUD ALL BE FEMINISTS…

Wait, 

wait, don’t run please.

Hear me out. 

I strongly believe that there are individuals who do not truly understand what feminism is about. 

Somehow, my people (read Nigerians) believe that feminism is a man hating agenda. 

                                                

I think the one they are looking for is MISANDRY…which the Oxford dictionary defines as “dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men’’. Ehen… you see? It’s not me that talk it. 

So what really is feminism?

Same dictionary defines feminism to be  “the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality for all the sexes” simple put, Feminism is about all genders having equal rights and opportunities. It is about respecting diverse women’s experiences, identities, knowledge and strengths and striving to empower all women to realize their full rights… 

How can anyone be mad at this, please?

I know this is not an easy conversation to have, especially with errrm…. our men (lol) and I have tried to avoid writing on this for so long (side eyeing ’Steeeee) but then I came across this very very very stupid question and then the very very very cool answer by oluchukwu_N

What I do not understand is why my desire to be better in life, to earn more, to have a place on the table is seen as me hating men? I believe it is me loving myself enough and wanting what I want for me. 

Why is it frowned at when women want to get equal social, political, educational rights?

Would having these stop me from being able to cook and be a good wife, mother, sister or child? 
Why should a woman always have to prove her worth despite having same qualifications as her male counterparts?
Why should I be paid less for doing the same job as a man just because I am female? (they don’t want us to chill with the big boys, abi?)
Why should I be denied the right to make decisions for myself, my future just because I am female?
Why should every bad driver be ''na woman na, no wonder" as if having a…..errrrm you know…is a major requirement for changing gears.

                                                        

If standing for my self and other women makes me a feminist, then I shall wear my badge with pride!
And all this doesnt mean I would disrespect the males in my life but I will always stand up for what I believe in and for what is right for me.
Please respect me in all my femaleness...

So please, stop depicting doom on feminists and feminism and see it for what it is;  the struggle that will help your wives, daughters, sisters to reach their full potential in whatever sphere they choose to shine in life…

Last last, like Chimamanda said, “I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femaleness and my femininity. And I want to be respected in all of my femaleness because I deserve to be.”

So, I will conclude by saying now that you know Feminism is about making the woman better, getting a woman to be seen and heard and allowed to soar, then i think maybe we should really all be feminists... because who doesn’t want their own to soar and shine bright like the diamond she truly is? 

Selah! 

EVER BEEN SERVED?

 

It was Valentine’s day just a few days ago and I was a happy somebody. 

Happy because I am a sucker for love, I love love…So much so that I have appointed myself the president of the Awwww Association. 

Which meant on Val’s day, I was on duty, busy roaming the streets of the ‘gram, surfing my contacts’ WhatsApp status’ and I even found my way to the bird app in search for awww moments for which I awww-ed  and awwwww-ed and smiled and was happy for the Val-ed. 

But you know how this life is now, I also came across some servings of breakfast (if you don’t gerrit, forget abourrit) Some were hot and some were cold, coooold, which made me quite unhappy but I am hopeful for all those who were served; hopefully by next year, I will awwwwn with them (if you’re on this table, say amen!) as heartbreak isn’t cool at all and I’m sure we  you all know a thing or two about this. (Wanna share?).

Back to love… love is a beautiful thing and good relationships are amazing and break-ups? They suck, which ever way they are served suck! 

But I want to talk about a different kind of break-up today.

I want to talk about friendship break-ups. 

Do like this ✋if you’ve been served this special kind of breakfast. 

I am doing like this ✋with my full chest as it has happened to me. 

Not once.

(Wipes lone tear)

Have you ever woken up one day and realize that, you have become strangers with your person? The one person whom you have shared laughs, secrets, cried together with, to and for? The one person who was your gist partner, who would go all FBI and gangster on any one who tried to mess with you, your gossip partner, the one whom you’ve shared so many meals with.

                                                       

Like I said earlier, it has happened to me…

Not once…

(Wipes lone tear…again)

…and it hurt. It hurt because I don’t make friends as easily as others, so I hold my friends dear; my girls know this. Now, if you make it to my holy of holies (HOH)…sigh! Imagine a senior member of the HOH ghosting and becoming a stranger… ko da now! 

I see all these quotes about how if you lose a friend, they were never your friend to begin with; I don’t agree because the good times were good, it was real and it was good and it was amazing and we had loads of fun; so I would rather believe that ‘some people are in your life for a time or purpose’ and when that is fulfilled, they move…you move (just like that 💃… see what i did there?)  

Some broken friendships are fixed, broken up friends make up and are able to work through whatever issues they had (psssst Omofeba),  some are back-ish but not where they used to be; some are just dead and gone and there is just no going back; which is also ok. So whatever level you are now, maybe accept it as it is, apologize if you are wrong, find out if maybe you did wrong and don’t even know it… that’s what I did; for closure: I guess.  And I am glad I did, I am happy where we are. I am happy with the friends I have now and it is what it is!

So do you, if you want, how you want…

xoxo

PS. If you are reading this, I want you to know that I’ll always be here if you need me.

PSS.. I know I am cool like that.