Thursday, 31 July 2014

My Pet Peeves

I want to talk about pet peeves today because for some reason, people around me happen to be out to piss me off. But after critically analysing the situation (that makes me sound serious right?), it became apparent that they aren't doing these things with the sole purpose of pissing me off.

From my understanding, a pet peeve is something that occurs frequently, irritates,  annoys  and generally gets under one's skin. It may not be a big deal to the next person, but for some reason which you cannot explain, it annoys you. In the same way, what could be someone’s pet peeve could be just normal to the next person. So, it is generally a personal thing.

I have a long list of pet peeves i will like to share with you. Number one and the greatest pet peeve i have is: People who chew like screen muncher. I don't get this, i will never get it, make it stop.

I hate being asked why I am quiet. Err, are you calling me a chatter box?

When somebody tosses something toward a garbage can like they think they're a basketball star, then leave it on the ground after they miss.  Now that we have established the fact that you are not Michael Jordan, can you please, please, please pick it up already?

PeOpLe WhO tYpE LiKe ThIs.

You know those people trying to enter an elevator when people IN the elevator haven't left yet? Yea, i don't like those people also.

People who take forever to order food while I'm in line.  It seems like i always come across this special group days when I am really hungry.

People who write K or KK instead of OK? Please, explain.

Hypocrites (yeah, you know who your are)

Jerks who take up 2 parking spaces. I don’t have a car oh but this annoys me.

People who will stretch out their hands soon as orbit (or any other 'janded' chewing gum) comes out of my bag. Go'an buy your own.

People that burp loudly in public. Why?

You know when you ask someone a simple, straightforward question and they spend ten solid minutes rambling on about everything in the world EXCEPT the answer to your simple, straightforward question? I hate that.

When i find a really cute piece of clothing on the rack and they have like twenty in size XS, two in size 3X, and not a single one in my size.

Unexpected company.

Dried toothpaste in the sink.

Dirty bathroom.

The "yes but" people.

People that dip bread in tea (except if you are a great grand ma then it is ok).

Parents who bring their young kids to the cinemas for movies not meant for kids.

Whenever anyone says "Ya, know what I'm sayin"...No, I don’t. How will i if you haven't said it yet?
Skinny jeans on men. *straight face*

People who blow their horn at you the nano-second the light changes to green.

When the person who takes the last of something puts the empty package back.

Needless  meetings.

People who say the time like "Eight AM in the morning". Really?

People who leave farts in elevators that I subsequently enter. Then the next person thinks it's me.

People who borrow stuff and never give it back. Seriously, whats up with that?

Debtors who see you every day and act like the debt doesn’t exist. This behavior is  the 2nd major cause of hypertension in Nigeria. Stop it. 

The sound of somebody playing with silverware on a plate.

Men who talk down to women.

I hate people who have no idea what "personal space" is.

Speed bumps. I just hate them.

People who spit when they talk. Say it, don't spray it please.

People whose attention is on their phone when i am talking to them.

I have some habits that i know people around me the boo hate. A good example is when I bite on straws. Yup, every time there is a straw in my drink, I chew it. I don’t know why I do and I am not about to stop. I like it.

I 'pop' gum when I chew,  I eat slowly, I put up my feet on chairs, I like loud music, I hate pets, I always leave food on my plate, I am that person who asks questions while watching a movie with others just because *Kanye shrug*. I like to write on dusty car windshields.

When a person makes a sucking noise with a straw when the cup becomes almost empty. You know the sound? Yes, I do this and I think it is fuuuuun. shoot me

So, now that I have reminded myself that I am also just human with my own annoying habits, I will try to be tolerant with others who also like when they do their thing or maybe they dont even know they are annoying; as i am sure i have a million stuff i do that annoy the next person.

Feel free to share your pet peeves with me. See the comment section? Yes, there. Please share with me.

Saturday, 26 July 2014

A day at the salon.

Nothing beats a day at the salon. Getting my hair did, mani, pedi, generally getting pampered and feeling like a madam at the top and completely forgetting whatever problems I may have carried into the salon. Ok quick confession, It isn’t all so rosy with 3 people tugging and pulling my 3” long hair. It pained oh. 

And the noise? They were chatting along and not giving a care that they were on my head. Makes me miss my short hair. I’ve been thinking of going back to my TWA after this biko. I cant deal.

Now, one thing i know you cannot take away from the average Nigerian salon is the gist. Lots of gist, then  there must be a nollywood movie playing (or gist about a Nigerian feem) and there is the occasional smelly armpit over your head while your hair gets washed.

While i was there, most of the gist was centered around Nkechi, Lily, Ugochi (all ladies I do not know) I learnt a little something about “that fine aunty wey get that red car” and that “one wey I no like bcoz she no dey give small kola” (kola ke? After she don pay for your services?)

There was a fight over wrapper and how who didn’t pay for it and "she collect the wrapper since last month oh" (for the purpose of this post, I call her oni gbese - thank you twitter). Meanwhile oni gbese was trying hard to defend her honor and even threatened to return the wrapper if "una no go allow pesin". I think she should have just explained why she couldn't pay for said wrapper but who asked me?

I also learnt that "Ogechi don born boy and her husband dey take care of her very well oh" and "Chisom sef don marry and she dey France" or was that Strands, the salon? *i need to focus* This one and “my guy say..., my guy come..., my guy this, my guy that…..” new love maybe? *Kermit pose*

New Chapter- The couple that just left; and all i can say is if the poor dude knew what would be said about coming with sisi to the salon, bros for no show oh, at all at all. but i think it was nice and a wee bit romantic even but again, who asked me?

Quiet time - Thanks to praise and worship on STV with Sinach and the glorious God guy. I should find out the name of the artiste.
This pedicure lady sha wan burn my feet sha.

I cried inside as my pack of orbit became empty in exactly 2.1 seconds. As if they were waiting for me to bring it out of my bag. *sigh*

At the end of the day, me sef my amedo is on a high scale right? Since I had my head phones, my laptop and my phone, I really didn’t have to listen but hey, what’s a day at the salon without listening to all the gist?

Disclaimer:  All the words in italics are not mine, i do not know or have i ever met Chisom, Nkech, Lily and Ogechi i do not know if they are married or are in France(strands?) and i do not know the anty with red car.

Friday, 18 July 2014

Blessed assurance

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”
Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.
If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 “Because he[b] loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

 Psalm 91....

Eye candy...



Move over Jeremy Meeks... Ben Dahlhaus has taken over!  The man of the moment has been described as the “hottest man on earth” and the most “gorgeous model”! describes him as  "A little bit like a mixture between Jesus and Jared Leto" while a fashion writer even used the caption 'his sad face is hotter than your hottest face'.

Where has he been hiding? He does look good but I am sure there are some women and men  who wouldn’t think he is all that. After all beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder right?

Now, do i think he is the hottest man on earth? Nope! but he is indeed gorgeous and i like the whole sad face thing he has going on.



Wednesday, 16 July 2014

What do I know about breast cancer?

I lost a friend to breast cancer yesterday. I am sad. I am very sad.
I have not gotten myself to call her mom yet because I don’t know what to say.

Lying on my bed last night thinking about her, I realised I didn’t know anything about breast cancer. Yes, I have gone for a mammogram but that was because my office paid for it. Otherwise I probably wouldn’t have bothered to go for one at all. 

I just read that one out of every eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer and as much as I want to scream it is not my portion, I know this is serious because it is real. It has taken a sister away from me and I have a friend going through chemo, fighting this awful disease.

How much do we know about this awful disease that is claiming the lives of women all over the world? It doesn’t choose who to attack, it just attacks women and a few men also. I don’t know much but I want to share the most basic thing about breast cancer and early detection as "the best protection is early detection". 

How should breast self-exam be performed?
Adult women of all ages are encouraged to perform breast self exams at least once a month
“Forty percent of diagnosed breast cancers are detected by women who feel a lump, so establishing a regular breast self-exam is very important.” 

While mammograms can help you to detect cancer before you can feel a lump, breast self-exams help you to be familiar with how your breasts look and feel so you can alert your healthcare professional if there are any changes.

You can examine your breasts in the shower, in front of a mirror or while lying down. 

                                                                              1)  In the Shower 
Using the pads of your fingers, move around your entire breast in a circular pattern moving from the outside to the center, checking the entire breast and armpit area. Check both breasts each month feeling for any lump, thickening, or hardened knot. Notice any changes and get lumps evaluated by your healthcare provider.

 2) In Front of a Mirror  
 Visually inspect your breasts with your arms at your sides. Next, raise your arms high overhead.
Look for any changes in the contour, any swelling, or dimpling of the skin, or changes in the nipples. Next, rest your palms on your hips and press firmly to flex your chest muscles. Left and right breasts will not exactly match—few women's breasts do, so look for any dimpling, puckering, or changes, particularly on   one side.

3) Lying Down
When lying down, the breast tissue spreads out evenly along the chest wall. Place a pillow under your right shoulder and your right arm behind your head. Using your left hand, move the pads of your fingers around your right breast gently in small circular motions covering the entire breast area and armpit.
Use light, medium, and firm pressure. Squeeze the nipple; check for discharge and lumps. Repeat these steps for your left breast.

 What do i know about breast cancer? I know it stole my friend. I know it is a horrible monster that has caused a lot of pain to a lot of women and now i know how to examine myself for early detection, just in case. 

For more on breast cancer, please go to