Sometime ago, I came across 'The Systemic Whorification Of The Young African Woman' written by Brigitte Sesu Tilley-Gyado on HUFFPOST and it stuck with me for a while; trust me when I say I was not surprised at anything Ms Brigitte wrote. I am sure at least one person reading this has experienced such mumu-ness somewhere.
Are you wondering what this 'systemic whorifiction...' means? Well, Miss Brigitte says 'Whorified': ...is to say sexualized and excluded based on my gender and youth...' errrm...or non-youth as the
age case may be.
As a young
-ish African woman, I have experienced such mumu-ish behaviours that have left me angry and unamused several times. Though I have not been refused entry into any establishment by the virtue of being a woman, I understand how annoying that could be.
This happened to me: True story, I telI you. So on this fateful day, while driving out of a restaurant, I opened MY bag, brought out money and gave to the security guy...this individual looks past me to the Hubster and says "thank you, sir. God bless you sir"
I was looked at him like whaaaaaat!!!! Didn't this onkuul just see me bring out money from MY bag to give to him? Why is the Hubster taking the thanks and the blessing, bikonu?
So, basically....because I am the woman here, I 'must' have collected the money from the man to put in my bag, right? It doesn't matter that I gave the money to this individual oh, all he 'knows' is that 'oga' must have given me the money that I gave to him. Anyways, good for me. Who send me message, right?
See, the thing is that he most likely didn't mean to offend me, it is what he knows. It is what the society has taught him. That a woman, without a man is nothing and has nothing; so he didn't think it is possible for me, a woman, to have and give him My money.
Sadly, it is true that "...Young women are the overwhelming majority of sexualized images in the media, fashion, music and porn industries. Yet where are the celebrated young African women inventors, business and national leaders of history in the media? Nowhere. According to the mainstream media, the non-sexualized autonomously successful young African woman does not exist."
These women are my friends. They are my sisters. they are Me! Women who are great mothers (Berry, Madam J, Inzei, Mz Dalli, Anty Emm, Ishar, MM), thriving entrepreneurs (Meow, Tk, Millish, TonTon, Modesty_Inc. ) beautiful fashion designers (lytani stitches, ThreadsByKwete, FabFabrix, T Diamonds), event Planners (M&U Events), awesome Nurses (Inzie), amazing Architects (Ms Ghaj) , brilliant Doctors (My Naffy, RayBear) bankers (Kuch Kuch, Miriam, Meow), incredible bakers (Ozi cakes, Dee_nas cakes), dedicated teachers (LizzD) outstanding civil and public servants , women working for great causes etc...etc...etc.
Now, tell me why any of these amazing women would not be allowed into any establishment to do whatever they want to do just because they are not glued to the arm of any man? Why does the society insist on 'whorifying' us just because we are women?
Wait, what if they haven't even achieved any of these yet? So what? why would you tell me I cannot go into a public business place because I am a woman and because I came alone? Haba jama'a! This thing is paining me.
I can never understand it and I do not plan to understand it but I do hope that someone listens to Ms Brigitte because I totally agree with her that "...the African man too must shift his paradigms, attitudes and perceptions and join in this struggle for empowerment and equality. He owes this to his daughters, his sisters, his wife, and his mother who for half of their lives would be young African women. The young African woman is the future mother of all Africans, and her Whorification is the Whorification of the values and self-esteem all Africans by extension..."
I have super women all around me that I am proud of each and everyone of them...I will continue to be proud of them.
No, this is not about feminism, this is just to say that this kind of thing is paining me. Like I said earlier, I am sure that you have been 'whorified' in one way or the other...Please share with me. I cannot be vexing alone, maybe some of your experiences might even make me laugh.