Tuesday, 9 April 2019

On 'The Systemic Whorification Of The Young African Woman'.

Sometime ago, I came across 'The Systemic Whorification Of The Young African Woman' written by Brigitte Sesu Tilley-Gyado on HUFFPOST and it stuck with me for a while; trust me when I say I was not surprised at anything Ms Brigitte wrote. I am sure at least one person reading this has experienced such mumu-ness somewhere.

Are you wondering what this 'systemic whorifiction...' means? Well, Miss Brigitte says 'Whorified': ...is to say sexualized and excluded based on my gender and youth...' errrm...or non-youth as the age case may be.

As a young-ish African woman, I have experienced such mumu-ish behaviours that have left me angry and unamused several times. Though I have not been refused entry into any establishment by the virtue of being a woman, I understand how annoying that could be. 

This happened to me: True story, I telI you. So on this fateful day, while driving out of a restaurant, I opened MY bag, brought out money and gave to the security guy...this individual looks past me to the Hubster and says "thank you, sir. God bless you sir"

I was looked at him like whaaaaaat!!!! Didn't this onkuul just see me bring out money from MY bag to give to him? Why is the Hubster taking the thanks and the blessing, bikonu?

So, basically....because I am the woman here, I 'must' have collected the money from the man to put in my bag, right? It doesn't matter that I gave the money to this individual oh, all he 'knows' is that 'oga' must have given me the money that I gave to him. Anyways, good for me. Who send me message, right?

See, the thing is that he most likely didn't mean to offend me, it is what he knows. It is what the society has taught him. That a woman, without a man is nothing and has nothing; so he didn't think it is possible for me, a woman, to have and give him My money. 

Sadly, it is true that "...Young women are the overwhelming majority of sexualized images in the media, fashion, music and porn industries. Yet where are the celebrated young African women inventors, business and national leaders of history in the media? Nowhere. According to the mainstream media, the non-sexualized autonomously successful young African woman does not exist."       

Now, while Miss Brigitte mentioned a number of reputable African women who are role models and have achieved great feats but are barely celebrated, I want to bring it down to the 'ordinary' Young African, Nigerian women whom we meet and interact with on daily basis. Women who are doing well all by themselves and not by the help of 'A Man', any man....I know them, they are my friends, they have and run their businesses all by themselves (of course with God's help and guidance). 

These women are my friends. They are my sisters. they are Me!  Women who are great mothers  (Berry, Madam J, Inzei, Mz Dalli, Anty Emm, Ishar, MM), thriving entrepreneurs (Meow, Tk, Millish, TonTon, Modesty_Inc. ) beautiful fashion designers (lytani stitches, ThreadsByKwete, FabFabrix, T Diamonds), event Planners (M&U Events), awesome Nurses (Inzie), amazing Architects (Ms Ghaj) , brilliant Doctors (My Naffy, RayBear) bankers (Kuch Kuch, Miriam, Meow), incredible bakers (Ozi cakes, Dee_nas cakes), dedicated teachers (LizzD) outstanding civil and public servants , women working for  great causes etc...etc...etc.

Now, tell me why any of these amazing women would not be allowed into any establishment to do whatever they want to do just because they are not glued to the arm of any man? Why does the society insist on 'whorifying' us just because we are women?

Wait, what if they haven't even achieved any of these yet? So what? why would you tell me I cannot go into a public business place because I am a woman and because I came alone? Haba jama'a! This thing is paining me. 

I can never understand it and I do not plan to understand it but I do hope that someone listens to Ms Brigitte because I totally agree with her that "...the African man too must shift his paradigms, attitudes and perceptions and join in this struggle for empowerment and equality. He owes this to his daughters, his sisters, his wife, and his mother who for half of their lives would be young African women. The young African woman is the future mother of all Africans, and her Whorification is the Whorification of the values and self-esteem all Africans by extension..."

I have super women all around me that I am proud of each and everyone of them...I will continue to be proud of them. 

No, this is not about feminism, this is just to say that this kind of thing is paining me. Like I said earlier, I am sure that you have been 'whorified' in one way or the other...Please share with me. I cannot be vexing alone, maybe some of your experiences might even make me laugh. 


Tuesday, 8 January 2019

HELLO 2019!


Hello people!
Feels good to be in a new year, right?
How did you ring in the new year?
Did you join others to "take out the trash"?
Were you someone's trash that was  taken out? *better observe and be sure oh*
Have you made your "new year, new me" declaration?
Have you already broken some of your resolutions?
Did you just stroll into the new year without much thought?

And I hope you did not finish all your savings oh? I hear January has about 72 days now and my account already feels like the 3rd week of the month...
 *wipes lone tear*

I ended 2018 well! And I must say it was a wonderful year. The year 2018 was good to me. God made the year good to me and so I ended it in thanksgiving.

Though my first couple of days in 2019 were not as cool as I wanted them to be, I am super thankful to have made it to 2019 and I am looking up to God for a better year than I had in 2018; I believe this year will be great.

Ehen, so the holidays are over, the year truly begins: I know we all have plans for  the year and I personally believe that how it goes largely depends on us as individuals through the goals we set, the plans we have for the year etc. Do you have a goal or goals for the year? How do you plan to achieve these goals? Is it something you can do on your own? Do you think you will need help? If you will, do you know where to seek such help....?



So I sat with my friends over suya the other day and we talked about all these. We answered the above questions individually and we came to the realization in addition to all these plans and set goals, we have to be deliberate in all we do and we also have to find accountability partners....someone that will motivate and help push you to be better, push you to continue on the path to achieve that which you want. 

We decided that being deliberate with our actions in the pursuit of what we want is a great way to go (see how we have sense?). To be deliberate in our work, with our faith, in our quest for greatness, in our jobs, in our businesses, in our choices for a spouse, in who we choose to deal with, in who we choose to be friends with, we have decided to be deliberate with our words, we even decided to be deliberate in looking for trouble.

In this year of our Lord 2019, we should press and deliberately keep pressing on to the mark that we have set and surely, we will get there; even if we do not get it all this year, we go still dey alright...

I wish you all a happy, blessed and prosperous 2019!

Please ehn, help motivate me to post more often. And follow me by email to enable you get notified of most recent posts on the blog. Also, kindly follow the blog Instagram @virahvira; I put up some stuff that do not make it here.

Thank you all for being part of my blog, please, please, please, keep coming, keep reading, keep commenting... I just might get a Bentley and take you for a spin. *wink*

Wednesday, 5 December 2018

Wait, What?

Do you know this song
'Kumbaya, my Lord
Kumbaya my Lord, Kumbaya
Oooh Lord, Kumbaya...?

So the other day, I was sitting in the office and my boss came in to ask what language the song ‘kumbaya’ is... 
I said I thought it was Swahili. 
Zee said she thought so to...
‘Stee said same....copy copy
Then we proceeded to sing the song...
...me with my angelic voice...Yes, yes thank you 😇

Mr. O allowed sing to our satisfaction then told us the lyrics are actually come back here, my Lord..
               come back here...
               come back here, my Lord...
               come back here...

Come back, ba wo?

Well, he explained that the song was sung back in the day by slaves in the fields who were praying to God for help...now I feel some type of way...
It actually sounds sad right? And I can understand how it could really be a song calling for help.

I checked it up and it seems like there is some truth to Mr. O's gist...true or not, it is a lovely song and I can't seem to get it out of my head.

What do you think? Do you agree with Mr. O?
Find out for yourself.
As for me, it is Kumbaya, my Lord, 


Wednesday, 28 November 2018

Be Still...

Have you ever wanted something really bad and did not get it?
Have you ever hoped so badly for a thing and it didn't come to be?
Have you ever believed so much in a cause but it did not pull through?
Have you ever craved something so bad but did not get it?
Have you prayed hard and it seems your prayers aren't going through the ceiling?

Did you feel bad, sad, angry, alone and wondered what is going on?
Yup, I know that feeling...
Too well in fact...

But then, this is the deal... God says "...be still and know that I am God"

Let me say it louder for the people at the back...
Well, what else can one do but chill and wait on Him to show He's boss! 😎😎

So what is making me sound serious-ish today?
Here goes...
There is this thing I really wanted and was super hopeful for but I did not get. 
Super heartbreaking, right?

I felt so bad and I did not understand why God did not let me have my thing despite praying hard, fasting and being super hopeful. 

Anyways, I was told why I did not get this thing, and to be honest, the reason made sense, plenty sense in fact but I wanted it and could not be bothered with why I was not given or the sense of it. 
I just wanted what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted it!

So, I cried. 
And cried.
I threw myself a big soppy pity party.
Then proceeded to take advantage of my friends by guilt tripping them into giving me comfort food...😁

Don't blame me please, I have to milk the situation, biko.  
So if you know you have not comforted me appropriately, I am still open to receiving comfort food and comfort gifts, please *Side eyeing Ozi, Meow and DaShiznit...*

Well, after all my serenren and feeling sorry for myself, I decided to look into the 'why' of not getting my 'thing'. And of course like I said earlier, it made sense. Eventually, I grudgingly agreed it was the best way to go; a much better alternative to what I wanted and a more permanent solution to the matter. 

So basically, God's answer to my prayer was "wait, My child. I have a better plan..." 
But this child of God (points @ self) at the time saw it as a big fat 'No!' 

Now I know it was not a No from God and today, I came across a post on the'Gram by Miss B...it is by a very wise Psalmist who happens to be a guy after God's heart, He said take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart... Psalms 37:4

He did not say we should tell God how to go about doing anything for us, but to trust Him with the desires of our hearts and wait. 
Again, did He not say chill I've got this   be still and know that I am God?

All I am saying is this, if we trust that He hears our prayers and we are confident that He will meet us at our points of need, then we should also learn to fully leave it all in His hands to do it His way.
After all He has said "for I know the thoughts I think towards you, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end..." 

*somebody shout hallelujah*

 Did you see that? He said "....an expected end"

I have learnt that I should stop projecting for things to happen at the time I want or the way I want but to be still and wait for Him knowing that whichever way it goes, it will arrive at my expected end. Which is actually more important after all, right? 

I know that God will definitely bless us with the desires of our hearts and we will thank Him for the way Amaka  our own ways, our own sabisabi  and the world disappoints us. 

So...fret not, He'll do it.
Maybe today, maybe not.
You'll get get it...I do not know how but I know He will...
Just trust in Him, be still and know that He is God!

PS: I am still receiving comfort food and drinks oh!

Happy birthday to BooBoo and Carla...💖💗💕

Saturday, 24 November 2018

The 100th!!!


Well, I hope you are  following @Yasminescents on the'Gram already? 
The new outlet launch is tomorrow and the first commenter on this post gets a tiny bottle of an amaaaaazing perfume oil! 

The 5th commenter gets cupcakes from Ozi's cakes... 
I get to take myself out for lunch somewhere nice...

Nope, I did not forget the movie ticket...This will go to the first person to leave a comment on my very first post on the blog...Lol, please don't roll your eyes at me, it's all for the freebies right? Also, no one suggested how to go about giving out the freebies so I randomly came up with these...

I love you big, you know that right? 

Vira with tha'100th! 😎😎😎

PS: Biko, choose only one freebie/person ehn? mbok.
PSS: Leave a comment and mention if you get any, please.
PSSS: More freebies....
Airtel:        1202284914052187
9mobile:    805827322285243
MTN:        64319428920156667
Glo:           573477448151362

Thursday, 15 November 2018

My Emotions Are A Scam...

Hey people! It's Vira and I am here to tell you I have come to the conclusion that my emotions are a scam! 
Yup, total scam.

The thing is this, while I am usually quite sensitive, I am not really an emotional person but there are times when a gangster like me one can't help it.
I usually get all emosh at weddings or while watching wedding scenes on TV. I don't know why. I really do not know why...

Just the other day, I was watching 'Queen Sugar' and sweet aunt Vi was getting married to her love, Hollywood. It was beautiful,
I got all emotional and welled up...and let it flow. 
Then I remembered how these emotions betrayed me on my own wedding day!

See, because I have a history of crying at other people's weddings, I was sure I would cry at mine. I told my Maid of honor to standby with tissue and blotting paper so I can clean my tears while making sure the money, sorry, I mean make-up on my face does not wipe off.

And off we went, all dolled up, waiting for the vows; my cue to cry. 
Nope, no right...
I did not cry...at all!

It was waaaay after the wedding ceremony that this occurred to me and I came to the conclusion that my emotions are indeed a scam. 
What in the name of Judas Iscariot was that?
My emotions betrayed me!

*wipes lone tear*

How can someone who has cried at other people's weddings not cry at hers? Got me thinking...
Is this me? 
Is me be this?
My people, I have cried at weddings that I did not even know the bride and the groom. 
NO, I did not gbo and ya jor, I was invited.

Well, the same emotions eventually realized they were supposed to be active and  got to work when I did not send it message. 
And so I cried when I least expected to. 
I cried when normal human beings with emotions that are not scam would not. 
So, yeah, this is the story of how my emotions betrayed me on my wedding day. 

How about you? Do you cry at weddings? Did you cry at yours? Do you think you will cry at yours? Please gist me...I cannot be the only cry cry here.

Thank you again for stopping by and reading the 99th post on the blog!
                             *drum roll, please*

Wait, what have I been writing? It really does not feel like I have written that much....
Maybe I am not so lazy after all *grin*
So...how do we celebrate the upcoming 100th post?

This is how...
I will not be sharing link to the post (so only those who check the blog all by themselves will find out and get the freebies)
What freebies? Let's see...

One person will get a special invitation to the formal opening of Yasmin's new store and a bottle of the most amazing perfume oil from @yasminscents...better check her out on the'gram, she has the most amazing perfume oils ever! Who ever gets this will be blown away!

Someone else will get a pack of 6 cupcakes from @ozi's cakes. I might have to win this for myself. My girl makes the most delicious cakes. 
There'll be airtime to be won.
A trip to Dubai......in your dreams.
A movie ticket...
And Lunch with me. I know no one wants this so I will take myself to lunch and pat myself on the back for writing a 100 posts that I don't know how I came about. 

But what criteria do I use in choosing who gets what? 
You guys, please help me out and I will edit to add or mention in the comment section. I need ideas, please. 


Wednesday, 31 October 2018

Turn Up The Pink & Save The Ta Tas...

One fateful morning, years ago while getting ready to go to the office, my phone rang. It was my dear friend, MM who was supposed to pick me up for work. So I thought she was outside my house already. 
I took the call to say I was on my way out…and I heard her crying… 
Ha! Whattapun?

MM yaya? I asked?
Please come, ki zo, zo kawai” she said, still crying.

What could it be? MM wouldn’t talk; she kept crying.
In a state of total confusing, I ran to MM’s so much for free ride
I met her still crying. She cried even harder when she saw me.
I was confused. 
She was a mess.
I didn’t know what to do so I held her tight still asking what the problem was…

I felt a lump...” she eventually said.
Ha! Mogbe! Lump?
M and I held each other and began to cry.
We cried because we thought M had breast cancer and was going to die.

The ignorance of it all!
Well, we got ready and went to the hospital; puffy eyes and all. 
The Dr. examined MM, carried out some tests and we waited for the results. 
The days waiting were the longest days of our lives. M lost weight, we cried all the time! Just making eye contact made us cry.
They were days of sober reflection. 
Well, results came back clean.

The lump was benign.
She did not even have to go through surgery to take it out. It was drained with a syringe and all was good. 
All is still good with M.

All this happened before I wrote THIS and THIS 
we have more sense now.
Today is the last day of Breast Cancer Awareness month, but I believe everyday should be. Adult women of all ages are encouraged to perform breast self exams at least once a month as “Forty percent of diagnosed breast cancers are detected by women who feel a lump, so establishing a regular breast self-exam is very important” and if, just if you find any abnormality, talk to someone, go to someone, speak to someone and by someone I mean a Dr. in a hospital. 

Remember that the best protection is early detection and a false alarm is better than being ignorant.

To those who are fighting Breast Cancer, I say #StayStrong.
#Rejoice and many others who have lost the fight...

#La’Millish.... Happy birthday sweetie!


Tuesday, 30 October 2018

'Epp Me!

Hey God! 🙆🏽
My people, follow follow is not good.
I tell you, follow follow is not good!

As I write this, I am sitting in a vehicle waiting for ‘Stee. 
Remember him? He’s the one we did this amebo with HERE 

So this is what happened.... I was bored in the office and my boss sent ‘Stee on an assignment.
I decided to follow...an ci kafan kare.
I had no business whatsoever going with 'Stee, but I really could not afford to sleep so THIS does not happen to me again. 
You see why I chose to do follow follow?

Anyways, I’m here now. Even more bored than I was in the office.
Just sitting  In. A. Car! 😫

I should have stayed in the office, I tell ya! 
This was supposed to be a 20 minute assignment and we've been here for this long!
It’s past closing hours, I’m stuck here and have been here for about 2 hours.

Who sent me to do follow follow?
What have I gotten my humble, hard working self into?
I shouldda just stayed in the office. This was not the plan.

Epp me, please.

Wednesday, 24 October 2018

Where Is My Chicken...?

See, I love food..
I love to eat...
I might even be a foodie. Maybe not a foodie foodie but a foodie alright.  

Let me explain; there are days when I can compete with a horse and win and there are days when I can stay without eating anything at all. There are days in which I crave a particular thing and I will eat that one thing for a week or more. Then there are days when I’ll only drink tea for as long as the system agrees with it.
But the interesting days are when I get to eat!

And boy, do I eat!
Anything and everything goes on such days.

So…I was on foodie mode while travelling, I had all kinds of snacks in my bag…and I still wanted to eat! So imagine my joy when it was time for food…


The lovely lady asked if I wanted chicken or beef with my rice and of course, I said the cutest "chicken please".
Like duh, which Nigerian wouldn’t go for chicken? 
Isn’t the Rice and Chicken combo in the Nigerian Constitution?
So I sat up smiling and waiting for my rice and chicken.

The rice and chicken arrived…
Yay, right?
No yay!
No yay as when I opened my food and saw the ‘chicken’, my jaw dropped to the ground and it sat there for a pretty long time!  

Isn't this what every Nigerian 'sees' when rice and chicken is mentioned? 
What manner of audio chicken is this? 
Ha’ahn! I did not see any chicken at all!!!
I looked very well and almost looked under the food pack for my chicken…

Haba! How will this woman look at me and ask if I wanted chicken and bring 4 soft cubes of something…
I am sure all Nigerians on that flight were disappointed because they must have all asked for chicken. I know this because at some point, the lady said she’d be back with more chicken and she disappeared for a while.
Just Imagine the level of disappointment…
30,000 feet above sea level; that’s some major level of disappointment I tell ya.

And this didn’t happen to me alone. Just the other day, while chatting with Miss B on her way to the land of the Kwame Nkrumah, she said “you should see the fake chicken sandwich they gave me, they rubbed it like butter”
“I no dey even see chicken at all…”

So this is an airline thing? Did they miss the memo that Nigerians do not joke with their chicken?

Please, people of airlines, next time you offer chicken to a Nigerian, endeavor to make it visible because next time I hear but do not see chicken in my food, I will ask out loud "where is my chicken?"

Oh, hey Millish...

Thursday, 11 October 2018

How Yaji almost disgraced me.

Hey People!
Remember the Abroad gist I was giving you guys?
Well, it continues here….
So, I have heard from a lot of people (Pssst, Miss B) how certain food items are not allowed into some countries and how sometimes one could get flagged or even fined for carrying said items…

Well, Yours truly decided not to take any food items along when travelling so as to avoid stories that touch the heart. So I happily packed my bags but just as I was about to leave the house, I thought about yaji. 
What Northern person doesn’t have yaji handy, just in case?

That is how I took my yaji along oh.
I arrived the abroad with my yaji and was very convinced that carrying it along was  a very wise decision as the blandness of the plane food almost got me sick. I said to myself ‘Thank God you carried your yaji because if this is how the abroad food is, then there shall be wahala…

Moving on...

I got my bags and was struggling with them when I heard ‘do you have any agricultural something something in your bag?’  I am not sure if it was the phoney the lady was speaking or my ears were temporarily blocked but I truly did not hear the rest of it after agricultural….
Now the problem was this.... at the point, I could not decide if yaji was agricultural something……so I walked up to the lady asking and nodded (better to be told nah, you are clean than to be nabbed, right?)

After the nod, she directed me to a guy who asked where I was coming from.
Nigeria” I said, and I would have raised 2 fingers in the air, Naija style but fear did not gree me. 
He smiled.
I smiled back at him
Do you have kilishi? He asked
Me: No
Him: Egusi?
Me: No
Him: Crayfish?
Me: No

At this point, he is probably thinking which kind fake naija person be this and I was  thinking to myself “looks like I am crushing this thing”
Crushing it!

Then he asked:
Him: So, what do you have?
Me: *crickets*
Him: *waiting for answer*
Me: *blank*
He looked at me, I looked at him.
He smiled, I smiled,
He was waiting….

Are you wondering why I was quiet?

I was quiet because I did not know the name of yaji in English!
I tried. I tried hard and in my most humble, meek voice, 
I said “yaji”….
Him: What was that?
Me: Yaji…

Then I tried to explain what yaji is to him… he said "oh, ok. Can I see it?" Behold, that was when village people decided to gather…. I had no idea which of my bags had the yaji. Remember it was at the last minute I decided to go with the yaji? Well, the truth is that I was not the one that actually put the yaji in the bag so I had no clue where it was!

I held my head in anguish and thought “they have followed me” Brother man was waiting for me to make a move. I decided to say the truth. I told him I was trying to figure out which of the bags had the yaji and he waited…
I finally found the yaji and I showed it to him. He looked at it, smiled (again!) and let me go. I thanked him and walked out of the airport into a very windy road, with no clue which way to go and one of my bags fell off the trolley… 

Yup, I was a mess after about 24 hours in transit but I made it out with my yaji in tow…

And that is how yaji almost disgrace me in the abroad.

Before I conclude, please who knows what yaji is called in English?
Help me. Please. Because I cannot come and go and embarrass myself anymore. 

Oh, have a great International Day of the girl child... 

Monday, 1 October 2018

Xtra! Xtra! Read All About It!!!!

Hey People! 
It is me, Vira, remember me?
Please say you do! 
I know. I know we have talked about this disappearance act. 
I have tried to reply all the emails I got and I will do better. 
I promise....
Thank you all for putting up with me and visiting this page even when I have nothing up.
Thank you!

So...Your girl was in The Abroad and I brought gist...

The place is actually full of normal people...whowuddathought?! (wait. maybe i was in the the wrong places?
I did not see anyone making out or doing 'things' on the streets and I was looking out for it...*sigh*
They weren’t all semi naked walking around despite the fact that it was summer (all these film people be deceiving somebody) and nope, not everyone was fit, trim, tall, all model like with flat tummies, flipping long hair and prancing around...
time to stop being deceived by movies, Kim K and friends.

It wasn’t  cheap!!!!!
Especially for my Nigerian self with the current exchange rate. 
Every time we had to pay for anything, I'd convert the cost to naira, and my heart would ache. 

Now, before I go on, I will like to ask; have I ever publicly declared myself a cheap skate?
Ok, this is my official declaration that I am indeed a cheapskate. #NoShame.
Now imagine a self-declared cheapskate being charged $18 for an uber ride. 
The thing is this, the $18 did not pain me but when I got a debit alert of N4,680 from my bank, I passed out a little!

Four thousand six hundred and eighty naira!  That is three hundred and twenty naira short of transport fare to Adamawa state from Abuja oh! *mogbe* 🙆
At this point, I advised myself to stop with the naira to dollar conversion. I would not have survived to tell this story if I had continued that behavior. 
I visited a lot of cool places across 5 cities and I loved every bit of it. The Willis tower is definitely one place that I loved and I am glad I got to visit. We were on the Sky Deck on the 103rd floor. Yup, 103! 
It was breathtaking, I was all awww and uuuhhh till it was our turn to step on the deck and the lady looked at me and said “everyone gets 1 minuet for a picture” 
Ha! 1 minute pere!?!
After following a queue for 2 hours to get to that point, feeling like I trekked from Okija to Ikom?  

Nope, not gonna work, the African in me was definitely going on ‘African time’ mode. And I am proud to let you know I took some extra seconds to get more photos...one minute fa, if I hear!

All in all, it was really cool and I’m glad I got to visit...legend even has it that Bro Barrack proposed to Sis MichMich in that building...(research for yourself before you start spreading gist from me please).

I was tempted to do one of these crazy poses for the 'Gram but who knows when village people will decide to come and break glass? 

Moving on....

This is a PSA!!!
Not everything in the Dollar store actually goes for a dollar!!!
I fell for that one.  *wipes lone tear*
Imagine my cheap self  happily prancing into the $ shop in my queen of cheap shopping state of mind...*wipes lone tear*
I was even thinking to myself 'we die here today'...
Imagine the betrayal when the first item I saw did not in fact cost $1.

Who did not live to be a $ store queen 😰

Was I in the wrong shop? I looked around and I was indeed in the $ shop. Ha! So whattapun?
Is this how Nigerian politicians learnt to deceive people? Only true cheap skates would understand my predicament...

It hurts till this day and I have not stopped asking....

Moving on...

Those Chinese nail technician portrayals in movies,...not lies!
Not a single one.
Totally accurate...them no send person at all.
They kept chirping in their language and even giving me instructions in the language!
And I could totally tell that the little old lady was gossiping about me. Don’t ask me how, I just do....
I was even thinking of....... Doing Nothing!
I respected myself and kept quiet before one of them would hadouken me back to Naija before my time. 
 The act of the Hadouken...
now you get it.
Oh, next time you see me forming for Keke, remind me that I was in one of these and it was cool. I actually liked it, it had music, the guy was nice and decided to appoint himself our tour guide sabi sabi somebody. He was quite friendly but i think he jobbed us small by the end of the trip. He seemed too happy and even offered to snap photos of us...are you thinking what I am thinking?
Not the actual one we rode in, I have never seen this guy in my life.

Self appointed tour guide was not the only overly friendly person. They all seem to be super friendly and smiley and chirpy. Before you know it, pictures of children and grankids are on display...Just like that!
Leaves you wondering where being friendly ends and amebo begins. *sigh*
That was definitely one of the problems I had being a zero friendly person (not proud of it but...)
Exhausted from all the friendliness and trying to figure out if it is amebo or not...

All these aside, it is a beautiful place and everything works! I kept wondering when our Nigeria will get to the point where light will not blink in a day, where the roads will be all good and car exhausts will not have to be changed every time one travels an hour out of Abuja. 

When will we have hospitals that work? 
When will our government feel jealous of all these other countries and decide to replicate what they see when they travel to the abroad
You see that Murtala Mohammed airport that we think is cool? Lol, my friend said “ai it is like motor park for them” ; she speaks the truth.
My people, have you ever been to Yola International airport? 
*Wipes hardcore lone tear*…
Lets' end the matter.

I know the onus is not strictly on the government because we sef get our own. How will the environment be neat and beautiful when we stay throwing bawon gyada from moving cars? When we will not drink pure water and dispose the sachet properly?
We need to do better please, we need to someday celebrate our country with real joy in our hearts, with pride and true patriotism because we are indeed happy to be Nigerians. So we will not be using side eye to be looking in awe and marveling at the beauty of the obodo oyibo like I did.

Oh, Happy 58th to Nigeria, we will get there some day.