Confessions of a Sunday School Teacher....

I love kids, I love to play with them and have them around me. I love the sweet smell of babies, I love when they coo and want me to carry them. I always knew I was going to be a Sunday School teacher but somehow, I only got into it about 3 years ago mostly because I was clueless on what it took to be a teacher and didn't know where I would start from. I also didn't feel adequate enough to take on the position. 

Then there was the decision of what class to teach. You see, I am not really the 'teacher teacher' type. I know the kids will easily stand on my nose and maintain balance so i knew teenage class wasn't my place. I thought about the intermediary class and nah,  no reason really because by then, i knew the baby class was the place for me. 

Funny thing is I think the baby class is the 'hardest' class to teach. That was totally ok with me because I love love love love me them babies just don't poo on me. That is my only condition. Yea, i know my love is supposed to be unconditional but na bottom box i dey wear go church so I am sure they understand. My class is made up of kids from age 0-6ish.  This, in my opinion is the craziest class to be 'teach' as more care giving than actual teaching happens here. We have those that cry from the beginning of service till the end. We have the constant "anty i want to weewee" group, the "i want to eat wise" "i want water" and those that just want me for the sweets and biscuits that i always have. You see, their love is conditional too so we are even.

Now, the day i knew this was my true calling was the day a child puked on my new red *bottom* shoes and i wasn't even angry. That day, I knew i was born to do this *I believe it was the day i got my cape* and i knew I was ready to be a mother! I actually cleaned the little fellow up without looking twice at my shoes! Normally, I would have cleaned my new shoes after i send for the mother. Emphasis on new here please.

The joy that come with being a Sunday school teacher has no bounds.....We always get to eat birthday cake and caprisone. I feel this pride when I see these kids growing and actually learning and not just eating my biscuits. My absolute favorite is when they run to me, just to give me a hug and run right back to whatever they were upto. That makes me happy i chose to do this. 

 And when the babies i have carried, fed, played with, wished i could drop and run away sometimes turn one and begin to walk around, i feel proud of myself because even if it is just twice in a week i get to do this, i feel like i have helped a mother in some way.

  

There are also days these kids make you want to smack them! When they just wont listen, they wont keep quiet and the boys wont stop running around and i get kind of frustrated. Despite this, I think I am a pretty cool Sunday School teacher even if i say so myself as i have had parents come to me to say "weldone" "thank you". Really, what else can I ask for? After all, i enjoy what I do. I am glad i had a strong support system when i became a teacher, I met other teachers who have been dedicated to the kids, who were willing to show me the way. They welcomed me and helped me become the teacher I am today and for this, I am thankful.

I think the only thing that will be cooler than being a sunday school teacher is being a mom. Something I cant wait to be and I cant wait till I take my little pumpkins to Sunday School where they will learn about the love of Christ, listen to stories from the Bible, learn to manifest themselves in songs and dance and maybe even puke a little on a teacher too.

 

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.

Psalm 127:3

The weekend I had.

It was short. My weekend was short. In fact, i am shocked that it is Monday morning already.

The highlight of my weekend was being in church and having a good time in His presence. Oh, i finally removed my braids, hung out with my cousins and generally lazed around.

How did your weekend go? I hope it was more eventful than mine?
Do have yourselves a blessed week ahead.
xoxo

For this, I am thankful!

I have been thinking about doing a #30daysofthanks challenge for a while now, in which I would write one thing (or more) that I am thankful for till the 30th day. But for some reason, I have been pushing it. Not that there aren't a million things I am thankful to God for everyday, but I am jut lazy face palm. God has been faithful to me and mine no doubt and while I am not ready for the #30daysofthanks challenge yet, I am thankful everyday and this morning, after thanking God for life, I found something I am thankful for.

I left home like this.

Today, I am glad I am from the North. Because...well, you know...I no get choice that is how I know this thing I found and I am thankful for. I am thankful because this morning, I felt pure joy! I still feel it in my fingers and in my toes  I am beyond happy, I am exceedingly pleased. I have been smiling. My people, I am happy and grateful to God for tuwo da miyan kuka! *cue in Pharell's Happy song*

I got to the office like this!

Wait! I am not talking about any Tuwo da miyan kuka but dumamen Tuwo da miyan Kuka. Yes! This morning, I am most grateful for dumamen tuwo da miyan kuka mai daddawa da naman kaza. I didn't mind  running late for work at all as that meal was worth having my name down for late coming. 

This is just because, well, Happy and thankful!!!!

The problem now is that full blown itis has set in. Well, who wouldn't be sleepy after loading tuwo before 9am? I need to get chewing gum. That should help me stay awake in this office or coffee maybe?

Me right now.

I am still happy in my heart now though and I believe my tummy is just as happy. Nothing is gonna take that away from me. This I know!! Oh, I am thankful for who ever saw the baobab tree and decided it would be ok to dry the leaves, grind or pound them and make soup with. And the person that thought "what if we add daddawa and mai'n shanu?" I am thankful to him/her also. But the person that thought about daddawa sha.....weldon ehn?!

                                                             Tuwo da miyan Kuka.

Tuwo da miyan kuka....not the one I ate sha.

Wordless Post.

30 Day Abs Challenge

I didn't think I could do it, but I am doing it!

Woohoooo! It is day 5 for me and I am actually doing more than I thought I could. I think it is  very cool way to challenge myself without a lot of pressure. 

I have to get rid of this muffin top at all cost. I have this really nice bodicon dress that I haven't been able to show off because of my old friend, Mr. Muffin-top. I am tired of our friendship and it needs to go away for good so I can put on my nice dresses without a jacket to hide.

Go to www.30dayfitnesschallenges.com for squat challenges, bikini body challenges, the little black dress challenge and many more exercise routines.

Thank me now or letter. You are welcome. :) 

Should identities of quarantined persons be revealed?

So a Nurse who had contact with Mr. Sawyer fled the Ebola quarantine centre in Lagos and went to Enugu to visit her family? And reports say she has already had contact with about 20 people. 

Please how is this not wickedness and how does a person flee a quarantine centre biko? Just how? I don't get it and she is even a Nurse which means she understands the foolishness and wickedness in her actions. 

What if she tests positive to the disease? It means the family members she ran to meet will be at risk also. I am angry at her. It was a callous and stupid move she made.

Her actions have led to people asking for the identity of those being quarantined to be "exposed". Meanwhile

Presidential spokesman, Reno Omokri took to twitter to ask this: 

Well, with actions such as this, I would say a big fat YES but with that will come the stigma and even when such persons are declared ebola free, people will still run way from them.

Do Mermaids really exist?

I just read about South African President, Jacob Zuma and the 2 mermaids that were found in a pool in his house. I was more interested in how he got them than why he has them at all.  I began to wonder if they really exist and this  led to an argument in my office as my colleague says he does not believe they do. Na him sabi.

Well, Disney has told me that they do and Disney also made me understand that they are oh so pretty, with long, lovely hair and figures to die for but these Oga Zuma's own are not fine at all.  Help me see Oga Zuma's mermaids--------------------------------------------->

Disney Mermaids. See the difference? The only thing I can see almost  in common is the hair but Oga Zuma's own weren't taking care of theirs. No salon for SA? So I ask, who is lying? 

Has Disney been lying to us or did Zuma get old, washed out mermaids? They look like what I imagined Grendel's mother would have looked like before I saw the movie Beowulf. I want to know because I don't like being deceived oh! I must get to the root of this but for now, I will refer to Oga Zuma's own as Mami water while Ariel and her Disney friends remain mermaids.

I have made no attempt to agree or deny their existence, all I want to know is where the heck he got these   ugly mami water them from because I think he got cheated. He should go back and get the fine fine ones abeg.

                                                                                                                                                                                                      

About Ebola...

I actually hoped i could escape writing about this till it fades away but it looks like it isn't about to go away soon. 

What is it?

I know that it is a very scary disease. The worst I've heard of so far in my life.

It is deadly, it is contagious and it is untreatable(for now).

Few facts on ebola fever. 

Ebola is what scientists call a haemorraghic fever - it operates by making its victims bleed from almost anywhere on their body. Usually, victims bleed to death from Ebola. 

Ebola is highly contagious; being transmitted via contact with body fluids such as blood, saliva, semen or body discharges.
Ebola is NOT AIRBORNE!

About 90% of people that catch Ebola will die from it. It's one of the deadliest diseases in the world, killing in a few weeks. 

This is the sad part - Ebola has no known treatment or cure. Victims are usually treated for symptoms with the faint hope that they recover. 

Symptoms of Ebola fever:

Fever

Headache

Diarrhoea

Vomitting

Weakness

Stomach ache

Joint and muscle ache

Lack of appetite

How do i protect myself?

Wash your hands with soap

Dont eat suya or bush meat

Disinfect your surroundings

Fumigate if you have pests

What else can i do?

Spread the word!!!

May God in His infinite mercy protect us all from this disease.

visit www.ebolafacts.com for more details.

This is a Public Service Announcement!

Fellow Nigerians,
"You have gained weight"
"Ah, you don fat oh"
"You don add oh"
"You are putting on weight oh"
"You have added" etc
Are NOT, I repeat are NOT ways to greet someone you haven't seen in a while!
Kilode?!

This is how my people will just see somebody and shout "You don chop up oh". Really? Who ask you? Just say hi, hello, good morning, good evening first.

Okay, rant over.
Ajuwaya As you were.
Thank me for this info later.

My Pet Peeves

I want to talk about pet peeves today because for some reason, people around me happen to be out to piss me off. But after critically analysing the situation (that makes me sound serious right?), it became apparent that they aren't doing these things with the sole purpose of pissing me off.

From my understanding, a pet peeve is something that occurs frequently, irritates,  annoys  and generally gets under one's skin. It may not be a big deal to the next person, but for some reason which you cannot explain, it annoys you. In the same way, what could be someone’s pet peeve could be just normal to the next person. So, it is generally a personal thing.

I have a long list of pet peeves i will like to share with you. Number one and the greatest pet peeve i have is: People who chew like screen muncher. I don't get this, i will never get it, make it stop.

I hate being asked why I am quiet. Err, are you calling me a chatter box?

When somebody tosses something toward a garbage can like they think they're a basketball star, then leave it on the ground after they miss.  Now that we have established the fact that you are not Michael Jordan, can you please, please, please pick it up already?

PeOpLe WhO tYpE LiKe ThIs.

You know those people trying to enter an elevator when people IN the elevator haven't left yet? Yea, i don't like those people also.

People who take forever to order food while I'm in line.  It seems like i always come across this special group days when I am really hungry.

People who write K or KK instead of OK? Please, explain.

Hypocrites (yeah, you know who your are)

Jerks who take up 2 parking spaces. I don’t have a car oh but this annoys me.

People who will stretch out their hands soon as orbit (or any other 'janded' chewing gum) comes out of my bag. Go'an buy your own.

People that burp loudly in public. Why?

You know when you ask someone a simple, straightforward question and they spend ten solid minutes rambling on about everything in the world EXCEPT the answer to your simple, straightforward question? I hate that.

When i find a really cute piece of clothing on the rack and they have like twenty in size XS, two in size 3X, and not a single one in my size.

Unexpected company.

Dried toothpaste in the sink.

Dirty bathroom.

The "yes but" people.

People that dip bread in tea (except if you are a great grand ma then it is ok).

Parents who bring their young kids to the cinemas for movies not meant for kids.

Whenever anyone says "Ya, know what I'm sayin"...No, I don’t. How will i if you haven't said it yet?
 

Skinny jeans on men. *straight face*

People who blow their horn at you the nano-second the light changes to green.

When the person who takes the last of something puts the empty package back.

Needless  meetings.

People who say the time like "Eight AM in the morning". Really?

People who leave farts in elevators that I subsequently enter. Then the next person thinks it's me.

People who borrow stuff and never give it back. Seriously, whats up with that?

Debtors who see you every day and act like the debt doesn’t exist. This behavior is  the 2^nd major cause of hypertension in Nigeria. Stop it. 

The sound of somebody playing with silverware on a plate.

Men who talk down to women.

I hate people who have no idea what "personal space" is.

Speed bumps. I just hate them.

People who spit when they talk. Say it, don't spray it please.

People whose attention is on their phone when i am talking to them.

I have some habits that i know people around me the boo hate. A good example is when I bite on straws. Yup, every time there is a straw in my drink, I chew it. I don’t know why I do and I am not about to stop. I like it.

I 'pop' gum when I chew,  I eat slowly, I put up my feet on chairs, I like loud music, I hate pets, I always leave food on my plate, I am that person who asks questions while watching a movie with others just because *Kanye shrug*. I like to write on dusty car windshields.

When a person makes a sucking noise with a straw when the cup becomes almost empty. You know the sound? Yes, I do this and I think it is fuuuuun. shoot me

So, now that I have reminded myself that I am also just human with my own annoying habits, I will try to be tolerant with others who also like when they do their thing or maybe they dont even know they are annoying; as i am sure i have a million stuff i do that annoy the next person.

Feel free to share your pet peeves with me. See the comment section? Yes, there. Please share with me.

A day at the salon.

Nothing beats a day at the salon. Getting my hair did, mani, pedi, generally getting pampered and feeling like a madam at the top and completely forgetting whatever problems I may have carried into the salon. Ok quick confession, It isn’t all so rosy with 3 people tugging and pulling my 3” long hair. It pained oh. 

And the noise? They were chatting along and not giving a care that they were on my head. Makes me miss my short hair. I’ve been thinking of going back to my TWA after this biko. I cant deal.

Now, one thing i know you cannot take away from the average Nigerian salon is the gist. Lots of gist, then  there must be a nollywood movie playing (or gist about a Nigerian feem) and there is the occasional smelly armpit over your head while your hair gets washed.

While i was there, most of the gist was centered around Nkechi, Lily, Ugochi (all ladies I do not know) I learnt a little something about “that fine aunty wey get that red car” and that “one wey I no like bcoz she no dey give small kola” (kola ke? After she don pay for your services?)

There was a fight over wrapper and how who didn’t pay for it and "she collect the wrapper since last month oh" (for the purpose of this post, I call her oni gbese - thank you twitter). Meanwhile oni gbese was trying hard to defend her honor and even threatened to return the wrapper if "una no go allow pesin". I think she should have just explained why she couldn't pay for said wrapper but who asked me?

I also learnt that "Ogechi don born boy and her husband dey take care of her very well oh" and "Chisom sef don marry and she dey France" or was that Strands, the salon? *i need to focus* This one and “my guy say..., my guy come..., my guy this, my guy that…..” new love maybe? *Kermit pose*

New Chapter- The couple that just left; and all i can say is if the poor dude knew what would be said about coming with sisi to the salon, bros for no show oh, at all at all. but i think it was nice and a wee bit romantic even but again, who asked me?

Quiet time - Thanks to praise and worship on STV with Sinach and the glorious God guy. I should find out the name of the artiste.

This pedicure lady sha wan burn my feet sha.

I cried inside as my pack of orbit became empty in exactly 2.1 seconds. As if they were waiting for me to bring it out of my bag. *sigh*

At the end of the day, me sef my amedo is on a high scale right? Since I had my head phones, my laptop and my phone, I really didn’t have to listen but hey, what’s a day at the salon without listening to all the gist?

Disclaimer:  All the words in italics are not mine, i do not know or have i ever met Chisom, Nkech, Lily and Ogechi i do not know if they are married or are in France(strands?) and i do not know the anty with red car.

Blessed assurance

¹ Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.^[a]
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

³ Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
⁸ You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.

⁹ If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
¹⁰ no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
¹³ You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴ “Because he^[b] loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
¹⁵ He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
¹⁶ With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

 Psalm 91....

Eye candy...

 

 

 

Move over Jeremy Meeks... Ben Dahlhaus has taken over!  The man of the moment has been described as the “hottest man on earth” and the most “gorgeous model”!  Evoke.ie describes him as  "A little bit like a mixture between Jesus and Jared Leto" while a fashion writer even used the caption 'his sad face is hotter than your hottest face'.

Where has he been hiding? He does look good but I am sure there are some women and men  who wouldn’t think he is all that. After all beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder right?

Now, do i think he is the hottest man on earth? Nope! but he is indeed gorgeous and i like the whole sad face thing he has going on.