GirlForce: Unscripted and Unstoppable

"We need to uphold the equal rights, voices and influence of girls in our families, communities and nations. Girls can be powerful agents of change, and nothing should keep them from participating fully in all areas of life." — UN Secretary-General António Guterres

To our baby girls,
To our sisters,
To our nieces,
October 11th; International Day of the Girl Child. 
A day set aside to celebrate the achievements of girls and the milestones achieved by them.

Yes, the Girl Force is Unscripted and Unstoppable... because we are risen, we are a force and we now have a voice! A loud voice, even if not loud, still a voice. 
Even if not everyone listens, they hear us. 
Unstoppable. 
Unscripted. 
Our daughters will be trailblazers, they will do better than we are doing now and that gives me joy.

As an Auntie, a godmother and a Momma of two beautiful girls, I am glad that my Princesses can and will shatter the glass ceiling if they choose to. I am glad that they can stand up, speak out to protect their gender. I am glad that they can and will fight for themselves and other girls like them. I am glad that they have the opportunity to be great because they CAN and because they WANT to!

Having said this, I know that a lot more needs to be done for the girl child to amplify her voice, to help her break barriers and achieve even greater milestones in life.

We need to increase awareness of gender inequality, we need to help get a girl in school, we need to teach our girls that 'NO' means NO. 
Let us teach our girls to understand that we have rights, we are strong and can achieve whatever they set their minds to achieve in life.

Lets all come together to build up the Girl Child because the future is female. 
Speak for the #GirlChild who does not have a voice. 
Stand up for the #GirlChild who cannot stand up for her self. 
Point the #GirlChild to the right direction. 
Fight for the #GirlChild.
Love the #GirlChild
Do not stop the her!

To the girl child,
I raise a glass for you.
I applaud you. 
I stand for you.
I stand by you.
I stand with you.
I am you! 
October 11th!

A Case Of The Bridezilla!

bridezilla

/brʌɪdˈzɪlə/

`

A woman whose behavior in planning the details of her wedding is regarded as obsessive or intolerable... Oxford Dictionary 

Now that you know who a bridezilla is, let me gist you about one that I read about. See ehn, this woman definitely has to be the queen of all bridezillas. 

So, here goes the gist, this bride told her friend to have an abortion so that her wedding will go smoothly!

Yup, you read that right.
She actually told her friend, her human friend, a married human friend who was pregnant with a human baby, a friend whom she is was close enough to ask to be on her bridal train oh, to have an abortion so that her dress will fit right!!

kwaaaaat!

Whaaaaat?!
Who does that, you ask?
I am still in WTF mode, honestly!
This lady has to be the chief of all bridezillas. I don't think anyone can beat her in this, at all!
And someone called me a bridezilla?!
Haaaa!!!

So.....this gist made me realize that I was really a chill bride oh.
I am sure my friends can attest to this fact; if you are my friend and you disagree with the above statement, kindly hold your peace and remain silent biko.
Thank you.

My dear friends, be thankful I didn't go all bridezilla on y'all!
To the one that even called me a bridezilla, I forgive you...
Yes, I am that nice but I am waiting for the apology sha.

Have I mentioned I was the most chill bride I know? 😎
The truth is I will not even take half the credit for how awesome my wedding ceremony turned out as my friends handled it all while I nicely crossed my legs and asked Dem Girls to carry on as i cannot come and kill myself biko...

Honestly, my besties made my whole wedding planning process smooth.
And like I said, I was barely involved.  From choosing or sharing of asoebi, I did not even speak to the makeup artist till a day to the wedding as one of my girls had that on lock down. The food and drinks nko, they had everything covered!

To all my amazing friends who came through, who went over and beyond for me, I am sorry this is coming so long after the wedding.
May God Bless you guys is all I can say *wipes lone tear*.

To those friends who we aren't as chummy, thank you for the great times, for the help and support.
To those friends who stay waxing, shine bright darlings!
To those in my holy of hollies, stay there!
My darling Millish, promise kept. 

My people, please share any bridezilla stories you have, let's see if anyone can beat this queen.  

Once again, thank you for stopping by the blog.

xoxo

Shout Out!

It is my guy's birthday today!

Our very own low budget Kim K!!

Whoop whoop!!!

We gon party hard today, y'all!!!!

Happy birthday darling. 

I love you long time.

May God bless you big. 

May the lines continue to fall for you in pleasant places, dear.

You are so fabulous that I'd imagine you pee glitter, fart rainbows and shit cupcakes!

Happy Birthday, to the Ikulu gangster!  

Here's to an even more fabulous  year ahead.

On 'The Systemic Whorification Of The Young African Woman'.

Sometime ago, I came across 'The Systemic Whorification Of The Young African Woman' written by  Brigitte Sesu Tilley-Gyado on HUFFPOST and it stuck with me for a while; trust me when I say I was not surprised at anything Ms Brigitte wrote. I am sure at least one person reading this has experienced such mumu-ness somewhere.

Are you wondering what this 'systemic whorifiction...' means? Well, Miss Brigitte says 'Whorified': ...is to say sexualized and excluded based on my gender and youth...' errrm...or non-youth as the age case may be.

As a young-ish African woman, I have experienced such mumu-ish behaviours that have left me angry and unamused several times. Though I have not been refused entry into any establishment by the virtue of being a woman, I understand how annoying that could be. 

This happened to me: True story, I telI you. So on this fateful day, while driving out of a restaurant, I opened MY bag, brought out money and gave to the security guy...this individual looks past me to the Hubster and says "thank you, sir. God bless you sir"

                                             

I was looked at him like whaaaaaat!!!! Didn't this onkuul just see me bring out money from MY bag to give to him? Why is the Hubster taking the thanks and the blessing, bikonu?

So, basically....because I am the woman here, I 'must' have collected the money from the man to put in my bag, right? It doesn't matter that I gave the money to this individual oh, all he 'knows' is that 'oga' must have given me the money that I gave to him. Anyways, good for me. Who send me message, right?

See, the thing is that he most likely didn't mean to offend me, it is what he knows. It is what the society has taught him. That a woman, without a man is nothing and has nothing; so he didn't think it is possible for me, a woman, to have and give him My money. 

Sadly, it is true that "...Young women are the overwhelming majority of sexualized images in the media, fashion, music and porn industries. Yet where are the celebrated young African women inventors, business and national leaders of history in the media? Nowhere. According to the mainstream media, the non-sexualized autonomously successful young African woman does not exist."       

Now, while Miss Brigitte mentioned a number of reputable African women who are role models and have achieved great feats but are barely celebrated, I want to bring it down to the 'ordinary' Young African, Nigerian women whom we meet and interact with on daily basis. Women who are doing well all by themselves and not by the help of 'A Man', any man....I know them, they are my friends, they have and run their businesses all by themselves (of course with God's help and guidance). 

These women are my friends. They are my sisters. they are Me!  Women who are great mothers  (Berry, Madam J, Inzei, Mz Dalli, Anty Emm, Ishar, MM), thriving entrepreneurs (Meow, Tk, Millish, TonTon, Modesty_Inc. ) beautiful fashion designers (lytani stitches, ThreadsByKwete, FabFabrix, T Diamonds), event Planners (M&U Events), awesome Nurses (Inzie), amazing Architects (Ms Ghaj) , brilliant Doctors (My Naffy, RayBear) bankers (Kuch Kuch, Miriam, Meow), incredible bakers (Ozi cakes, Dee_nas cakes), dedicated teachers (LizzD) outstanding civil and public servants , women working for  great causes etc...etc...etc.

Now, tell me why any of these amazing women would not be allowed into any establishment to do whatever they want to do just because they are not glued to the arm of any man? Why does the society insist on 'whorifying' us just because we are women?

Wait, what if they haven't even achieved any of these yet? So what? why would you tell me I cannot go into a public business place because I am a woman and because I came alone? Haba jama'a! This thing is paining me. 

I can never understand it and I do not plan to understand it but I do hope that someone listens to Ms Brigitte because I totally agree with her that "...the African man too must shift his paradigms, attitudes and perceptions and join in this struggle for empowerment and equality. He owes this to his daughters, his sisters, his wife, and his mother who for half of their lives would be young African women. The young African woman is the future mother of all Africans, and her Whorification is the Whorification of the values and self-esteem all Africans by extension..."

I have super women all around me that I am proud of each and everyone of them...I will continue to be proud of them. 

No, this is not about feminism, this is just to say that this kind of thing is paining me. Like I said earlier, I am sure that you have been 'whorified' in one way or the other...Please share with me. I cannot be vexing alone, maybe some of your experiences might even make me laugh. 

xoxo

HELLO 2019!

 

Hello people!

Feels good to be in a new year, right?

How did you ring in the new year?

Did you join others to "take out the trash"?

Were you someone's trash that was  taken out? *better observe and be sure oh*

Have you made your "new year, new me" declaration?

Have you already broken some of your resolutions?

Did you just stroll into the new year without much thought?

And I hope you did not finish all your savings oh? I hear January has about 72 days now and my account already feels like the 3rd week of the month...

 *wipes lone tear*

see?

I ended 2018 well! And I must say it was a wonderful year. The year 2018 was good to me. God made the year good to me and so I ended it in thanksgiving.

Though my first couple of days in 2019 were not as cool as I wanted them to be, I am super thankful to have made it to 2019 and I am looking up to God for a better year than I had in 2018; I believe this year will be great.

Ehen, so the holidays are over, the year truly begins: I know we all have plans for  the year and I personally believe that how it goes largely depends on us as individuals through the goals we set, the plans we have for the year etc. Do you have a goal or goals for the year? How do you plan to achieve these goals? Is it something you can do on your own? Do you think you will need help? If you will, do you know where to seek such help....?

Questions...

Questions... 

So I sat with my friends over suya the other day and we talked about all these. We answered the above questions individually and we came to the realization in addition to all these plans and set goals, we have to be deliberate in all we do and we also have to find accountability partners....someone that will motivate and help push you to be better, push you to continue on the path to achieve that which you want. 

We decided that being deliberate with our actions in the pursuit of what we want is a great way to go (see how we have sense?). To be deliberate in our work, with our faith, in our quest for greatness, in our jobs, in our businesses, in our choices for a spouse, in who we choose to deal with, in who we choose to be friends with, we have decided to be deliberate with our words, we even decided to be deliberate in looking for trouble.

In this year of our Lord 2019, we should press and deliberately keep pressing on to the mark that we have set and surely, we will get there; even if we do not get it all this year, we go still dey alright...

I wish you all a happy, blessed and prosperous 2019!

Please ehn, help motivate me to post more often. And follow me by email to enable you get notified of most recent posts on the blog. Also, kindly follow the blog Instagram @virahvira; I put up some stuff that do not make it here.

Thank you all for being part of my blog, please, please, please, keep coming, keep reading, keep commenting... I just might get a Bentley and take you for a spin. *wink*

Wait, What?

Do you know this song

'Kumbaya, my Lord

Kumbaya

Kumbaya my Lord, Kumbaya

Oooh Lord, Kumbaya...?

So the other day, I was sitting in the office and my boss came in to ask what language the song ‘kumbaya’ is... 

I said I thought it was Swahili. 
Zee said she thought so to...

‘Stee said same....copy copy

Then we proceeded to sing the song...

...me with my angelic voice...Yes, yes thank you 😇

Mr. O allowed sing to our satisfaction then told us the lyrics are actually ‘come back here, my Lord..
               come back here...
               come back here, my Lord...
               come back here...

Wait! 

What?! 

Come back, ba wo?

Well, he explained that the song was sung back in the day by slaves in the fields who were praying to God for help...now I feel some type of way...
It actually sounds sad right? And I can understand how it could really be a song calling for help.

I checked it up and it seems like there is some truth to Mr. O's gist...true or not, it is a lovely song and I can't seem to get it out of my head.

What do you think? Do you agree with Mr. O?
Find out for yourself.
As for me, it is Kumbaya, my Lord, 
                         Kumbaya....

xxo

Be Still...

Have you ever wanted something really bad and did not get it?

Have you ever hoped so badly for a thing and it didn't come to be?

Have you ever believed so much in a cause but it did not pull through?

Have you ever craved something so bad but did not get it?

Have you prayed hard and it seems your prayers aren't going through the ceiling?

Yes? 
So...

Did you feel bad, sad, angry, alone and wondered what is going on?

Yup, I know that feeling...

Too well in fact...

But then, this is the deal... God says "...be still and know that I am God"

Let me say it louder for the people at the back...

He said "BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD!!!"
Well, what else can one do but chill and wait on Him to show He's boss! 😎😎

So what is making me sound serious-ish today?

Here goes...
There is this thing I really wanted and was super hopeful for but I did not get. 
Super heartbreaking, right?
Right.

I felt so bad and I did not understand why God did not let me have my thing despite praying hard, fasting and being super hopeful. 

Anyways, I was told why I did not get this thing, and to be honest, the reason made sense, plenty sense in fact but I wanted it and could not be bothered with why I was not given or the sense of it. 
I just wanted what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted it!

So, I cried. 
And cried.
I threw myself a big soppy pity party.
Then proceeded to take advantage of my friends by guilt tripping them into giving me comfort food...😁

Don't blame me please, I have to milk the situation, biko.  
So if you know you have not comforted me appropriately, I am still open to receiving comfort food and comfort gifts, please *Side eyeing Ozi, Meow and DaShiznit...*


Well, after all my serenren and feeling sorry for myself, I decided to look into the 'why' of not getting my 'thing'. And of course like I said earlier, it made sense. Eventually, I grudgingly agreed it was the best way to go; a much better alternative to what I wanted and a more permanent solution to the matter. 

So basically, God's answer to my prayer was "wait, My child. I have a better plan..." 
But this child of God (points @ self) at the time saw it as a big fat 'No!' 

Now I know it was not a No from God and today, I came across a post on the'Gram by Miss B...it is by a very wise Psalmist who happens to be a guy after God's heart, He said take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart... Psalms 37:4

He did not say we should tell God how to go about doing anything for us, but to trust Him with the desires of our hearts and wait. 

Again, did He not say chill I've got this   be still and know that I am God?

All I am saying is this, if we trust that He hears our prayers and we are confident that He will meet us at our points of need, then we should also learn to fully leave it all in His hands to do it His way.
After all He has said "for I know the thoughts I think towards you, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end..." 

*somebody shout hallelujah*

 Did you see that? He said "....an expected end"

I have learnt that I should stop projecting for things to happen at the time I want or the way I want but to be still and wait for Him knowing that whichever way it goes, it will arrive at my expected end. Which is actually more important after all, right? 

I know that God will definitely bless us with the desires of our hearts and we will thank Him for the way Amaka  our own ways, our own sabisabi  and the world disappoints us. 

So...fret not, He'll do it.
Maybe today, maybe not.
You'll get get it...I do not know how but I know He will...
Just trust in Him, be still and know that He is God!

Shalom

PS: I am still receiving comfort food and drinks oh!

Happy birthday to BooBoo and Carla...💖💗💕

The 100th!!!

                                 Yaaaaaaaaaaay!!!

Well, I hope you are  following @Yasminescents on the'Gram already? 

The new outlet launch is tomorrow and the first commenter on this post gets a tiny bottle of an amaaaaazing perfume oil! 

The 5th commenter gets cupcakes from Ozi's cakes... 

I get to take myself out for lunch somewhere nice...

Nope, I did not forget the movie ticket...This will go to the first person to leave a comment on my very first post on the blog...Lol, please don't roll your eyes at me, it's all for the freebies right? Also, no one suggested how to go about giving out the freebies so I randomly came up with these...

I love you big, you know that right? 

xoxox

Signed: 

Vira with tha'100th! 😎😎😎

PS: Biko, choose only one freebie/person ehn? mbok.

PSS: Leave a comment and mention if you get any, please.

PSSS: More freebies....

Airtel:        1202284914052187

9mobile:    805827322285243

MTN:        64319428920156667

Glo:           573477448151362

My Emotions Are A Scam...

Hey people! It's Vira and I am here to tell you I have come to the conclusion that my emotions are a scam! 
Yup, total scam.

The thing is this, while I am usually quite sensitive, I am not really an emotional person but there are times when a gangster like me one can't help it.
I usually get all emosh at weddings or while watching wedding scenes on TV. I don't know why. I really do not know why...

Just the other day, I was watching 'Queen Sugar' and sweet aunt Vi was getting married to her love, Hollywood. It was beautiful,
I got all emotional and welled up...and let it flow. 
Then I remembered how these emotions betrayed me on my own wedding day!

See, because I have a history of crying at other people's weddings, I was sure I would cry at mine. I told my Maid of honor to standby with tissue and blotting paper so I can clean my tears while making sure the money, sorry, I mean make-up on my face does not wipe off.

And off we went, all dolled up, waiting for the vows; my cue to cry. 
Right?
Nope, no right...
I did not cry...at all!

It was waaaay after the wedding ceremony that this occurred to me and I came to the conclusion that my emotions are indeed a scam. 
What in the name of Judas Iscariot was that?
My emotions betrayed me!

*wipes lone tear*

How can someone who has cried at other people's weddings not cry at hers? Got me thinking...
Is this me? 
Is me be this?
Whattapun?
My people, I have cried at weddings that I did not even know the bride and the groom. 
NO, I did not gbo and ya jor, I was invited.

Well, the same emotions eventually realized they were supposed to be active and  got to work when I did not send it message. 
And so I cried when I least expected to. 
I cried when normal human beings with emotions that are not scam would not. 
So, yeah, this is the story of how my emotions betrayed me on my wedding day. 

How about you? Do you cry at weddings? Did you cry at yours? Do you think you will cry at yours? Please gist me...I cannot be the only cry cry here.

Thank you again for stopping by and reading the 99th post on the blog!
                             *drum roll, please*

Wait, what have I been writing? It really does not feel like I have written that much....
Maybe I am not so lazy after all *grin*
So...how do we celebrate the upcoming 100th post?

This is how...
I will not be sharing link to the post (so only those who check the blog all by themselves will find out and get the freebies)
What freebies? Let's see...

One person will get a special invitation to the formal opening of Yasmin's new store and a bottle of the most amazing perfume oil from @yasminscents...better check her out on the'gram, she has the most amazing perfume oils ever! Who ever gets this will be blown away!

Someone else will get a pack of 6 cupcakes from @ozi's cakes. I might have to win this for myself. My girl makes the most delicious cakes. 
There'll be airtime to be won.
A trip to Dubai......in your dreams.
A movie ticket...
And Lunch with me. I know no one wants this so I will take myself to lunch and pat myself on the back for writing a 100 posts that I don't know how I came about. 

But what criteria do I use in choosing who gets what? 
You guys, please help me out and I will edit to add or mention in the comment section. I need ideas, please. 

xxo

Turn Up The Pink & Save The Ta Tas...

One fateful morning, years ago while getting ready to go to the office, my phone rang. It was my dear friend, MM who was supposed to pick me up for work. So I thought she was outside my house already. 

I took the call to say I was on my way out…and I heard her crying… 

Ha! Whattapun?

MM yaya? I asked?

“Please come, ki zo, zo kawai” she said, still crying.

What could it be? MM wouldn’t talk; she kept crying.

In a state of total confusing, I ran to MM’s so much for free ride. 

I met her still crying. She cried even harder when she saw me.

I was confused. 

She was a mess.

I didn’t know what to do so I held her tight still asking what the problem was…

“I felt a lump...” she eventually said.

Ha! Mogbe! Lump?

Cancer?!

M and I held each other and began to cry.

We cried because we thought M had breast cancer and was going to die.

The ignorance of it all!

Well, we got ready and went to the hospital; puffy eyes and all. 

The Dr. examined MM, carried out some tests and we waited for the results. 

The days waiting were the longest days of our lives. M lost weight, we cried all the time! Just making eye contact made us cry.

They were days of sober reflection. 

Well, results came back clean.

                                             

The lump was benign.

She did not even have to go through surgery to take it out. It was drained with a syringe and all was good. 

All is still good with M.

All this happened before I wrote THIS and THIS 

we have more sense now.

Today is the last day of Breast Cancer Awareness month, but I believe everyday should be. Adult women of all ages are encouraged to perform breast self exams at least once a month as “Forty percent of diagnosed breast cancers are detected by women who feel a lump, so establishing a regular breast self-exam is very important” and if, just if you find any abnormality, talk to someone, go to someone, speak to someone and by someone I mean a Dr. in a hospital. 

Remember that the best protection is early detection and a false alarm is better than being ignorant.

To those who are fighting Breast Cancer, I say #StayStrong.

#SupperSammy 

#Peddi

#Rejoice and many others who have lost the fight...

#RestWell 

#La’Millish.... Happy birthday sweetie!

XO

'Epp Me!

Hey God! 🙆🏽‍

My people, follow follow is not good.

I tell you, follow follow is not good!

As I write this, I am sitting in a vehicle waiting for ‘Stee. 

Remember him? He’s the one we did this amebo with HERE 

So this is what happened.... I was bored in the office and my boss sent ‘Stee on an assignment.

I decided to follow...an ci kafan kare.

I had no business whatsoever going with 'Stee, but I really could not afford to sleep so THIS does not happen to me again. 

You see why I chose to do follow follow?

Anyways, I’m here now. Even more bored than I was in the office.

Just sitting  In. A. Car! 😫

I should have stayed in the office, I tell ya! 

This was supposed to be a 20 minute assignment and we've been here for this long!

It’s past closing hours, I’m stuck here and have been here for about 2 hours.

Chai!

Who sent me to do follow follow?

What have I gotten my humble, hard working self into?

I shouldda just stayed in the office. This was not the plan.

Epp me, please.

Where Is My Chicken...?

See, I love food..

I love to eat...

I might even be a foodie. Maybe not a foodie foodie but a foodie alright.  

Let me explain; there are days when I can compete with a horse and win and there are days when I can stay without eating anything at all. There are days in which I crave a particular thing and I will eat that one thing for a week or more. Then there are days when I’ll only drink tea for as long as the system agrees with it.

But the interesting days are when I get to eat!

And boy, do I eat!

Anything and everything goes on such days.

So…I was on foodie mode while travelling, I had all kinds of snacks in my bag…and I still wanted to eat! So imagine my joy when it was time for food…

Yay!

The lovely lady asked if I wanted chicken or beef with my rice and of course, I said the cutest "chicken please".

Like duh, which Nigerian wouldn’t go for chicken? 

Isn’t the Rice and Chicken combo in the Nigerian Constitution?

So I sat up smiling and waiting for my rice and chicken.

The rice and chicken arrived…

Yay, right?

Nope. 

No yay!

No yay as when I opened my food and saw the ‘chicken’, my jaw dropped to the ground and it sat there for a pretty long time!  

Isn't this what every Nigerian 'sees' when rice and chicken is mentioned? 

What manner of audio chicken is this? 

Ha’ahn! I did not see any chicken at all!!!

Haaaa!!!

I looked very well and almost looked under the food pack for my chicken…

Haba! How will this woman look at me and ask if I wanted chicken and bring 4 soft cubes of something…

I am sure all Nigerians on that flight were disappointed because they must have all asked for chicken. I know this because at some point, the lady said she’d be back with more chicken and she disappeared for a while.

Just Imagine the level of disappointment…

30,000 feet above sea level; that’s some major level of disappointment I tell ya.

And this didn’t happen to me alone. Just the other day, while chatting with Miss B on her way to the land of the Kwame Nkrumah, she said “you should see the fake chicken sandwich they gave me, they rubbed it like butter”

“I no dey even see chicken at all…”

So this is an airline thing? Did they miss the memo that Nigerians do not joke with their chicken?

Please, people of airlines, next time you offer chicken to a Nigerian, endeavor to make it visible because next time I hear but do not see chicken in my food, I will ask out loud "where is my chicken?"

Oh, hey Millish...