Showing posts with label life as vira. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life as vira. Show all posts

Friday 23 September 2022

Wetin I go find for Sokoto… My Visit To New York City.


Hey peoples!

You’re probably wondering what I am on about today again abi?

Well, if you are familiar with this saying, you already know how it ends…

‘Wetin I go find for Sokoto dey for my sokoto’….

So I visited the Big Apple.

With a mission.

I was prepared for this trip, I planned for weeks, I was super excited to get there and be a New Yorker and all of that. But my main reason for going to New York City was something I so much looked forward to, I could not wait. I even bought a selfie stick so I do not miss a moment of it. 

You’re wondering what it is, right?

Well, I was given the opportunity to choose where I wanted to spend Christmas and I chose NYC, because, well… it is New York City #duh, secondly, I really wanted to see/feel/experience snow. Yes, this Naija girl had not seen snow before so I thought, why not and where best?

That is how local girl was flown to New York City. 

Hmmmm the cold that grabbed me the minute we landed, I endured because I am in New York City na and I will see snow, abi? And the colder it gets, the more chances that it will snow, abi? Also, the thought of snapping photos in the snow, doing the whole snow angel ish fueled me. 

This was going to be me in all the plenty snow I was looking forward to.

I was prepared, the weather app was my best friend, it forecasted snow from the day after my arrival, all was good with me, I could not wait. 

My brothers and sisters, dudes and dudettes, ladies and gentlemen, that is how I spent 7 good days in New York, one tiny flake of snow like this, my eyes did not see. My fingers and toes, I could barely feel because the cold, the cold, the cold!!!!  *wipes lone tear*

That is how vacation was over, I carried myself back to my small town and a few days later, guess what? It snowed!

Yup, it snowed here, where I was told it had not snowed in about 4 years… ehn, it was not much, it was like two Naira snow that basically melted before it touched the ground but it did snow! 

Ah, come and see how local girl ran out to enjoy the snow… I did not care if anyone was looking at me, I made sure I enjoyed the moment. I was happy, I saw it, I felt it, I let it fall in my mouth… I was a happy somebody y’all!

This was me… with way less snow. 😒

Well, well, apart from the snow disappointment (which was major) the visit was cool, I visited really cool places and I had fun. As a true fan of the tv show Friends, I had to go to Central Park… it is huge but I did not stay long as it was super cold.  I visited Madam Tussaud (where I had a nice conversation with Thor and he told me I was worthy of Mjolnir, I may or may not be lying about this). I also visited the famous Times Square, Rockefeller center, China town, Broadway, Radio music hall, Fifth avenue and Carlos Barkery!

There were other places I wanted to visit but at some point, going out felt like punishment as the temperature was in the minuses so I advised myself accordingly. It was a fun visit altogether though I was snow heartbroken.  

Now, would I want to go back anytime soon? Hmmm no, I do not think so. Why, you ask? That city is basically a bigger Lagos with better light and nicer cars and taller buildings (ok, ok, maybe a whole lot nicer than Lagos but you get the point)  There was always crazy traffic, trash on the road sides, people everywhere, roadside food vendors, cars honking, cab guys driving like mad folk and cussing at each other… kilode?!  And I was even in Manhattan which is supposed to be the Lekki of NYC. Nah, I like my sanity please, plus the city did not keep to its promise of snow (yes, it is still paining me).

So… that is it about my visit to NYC, I will be back with gist of my visit to Las Vegas *does the sign of the cross*


XOXO 


Wednesday 14 September 2022

Xtra! Xtra!!

 Read all about it! 


Holla peoples! It’s been ages, right? I do not know what happened to me but these past months, it feels like my fingers just refused to cooperate with the keypad even though I’ve been gisting y’all in my head.

As always, I say a big thank you to all those who checked on me and kept visiting the blog even when I do not put anything up.

So… this post really doesn’t have a bearing, I just want to gist you general gist about this place that I live and all the kinds of things my eyes have seen in this Biden’s America. I’ll tell y’all  what has stood out, surprised or vexed me in the past year I’ve been here.

You ready? Ok, let’s gist…

In case you are still wondering, yes, na okra… (i know, i know, it’s okro we knoweth) on a drink. And to this day!
To this very day, I’m still wondering what it is doing on a cup, then how in the world do you go about it? Take a sip of the drink, chop small kubewa, another sip, eat a shrimp? I don’t know and we did not bother to find out as no one touched that drink. The drink is called a Bloody Mary, in case you see it on a drink menu, you can like to skip it… you’re welcome.

I found out there are no public transportation in this town! Yes, it is a small town but not that small. Even small keke they don’t have. I keep wondering how people without cars manage, though I see some walking around and i really wonder how they manage it all together. This is a town with a population of 37,000 people! You get my concern now, right? Maybe i should buy small keke or start doing ‘along’ self.

Moving along, the road rules here include the fact that one can make a right turn even if the light is red. Just be sure it’s safe to do so. A person must change their ‘vehicle registration plate’ aka number plate and their driver’s license within 60 days of moving to a new state. Oh, people who ride motorbikes have same rights to the roads, so you’ll never see a bike by the side of any car waiting, they will take up space on the lane and be feeling cool…. 

Just like this uncle that just stood in my very before…

I’m not sure why I’m beefing sef. 🙈 

Ah, the summer here ehn, the summer is bloody! It be summering like say na fight.

 At some point, it was as hot as Yola with 37 degrees! Yeah, you read that right. It was crazy but it’s getting so much better now.

Oh, have I mentioned that they love their okra? After the okra in the drink, I got some in my salad and I can’t stop  wondering why? Why? Why?

 


Well, for me, if it ain’t in a soup, I don’t want it. Kalas!

Then I saw these in Walmart… 

I’m still wondering why…

Moving on… again…
This town is known for their mini meat pies; which are really nice but the thing that stands out for me is that the pies are served with some kind of dipping sauce. I’ve never tried the sauce cuz my Naija self knows that it is juice or minerals we drink when we eat meat pie. Abi?

Oh, another thing… there are a lot of elderly people who go shopping all by themselves and i always feel bad when i see them trying to get stuff off the shelves… the home training in me makes me stop to help them every now and then but I can’t stop wondering why they have to come all by themselves and no one really bothers to help them. 

I’ve also noticed some crosses and flowers by some road sides when we travel and I figured there might have been fatal accidents there and the loved ones choose to do that in honor of their loved ones. So I made a note to count how many of such I’d see on an hour journey to the neihbouring  town and I saw 3… yup, 3 (I sigh in Benin -Ore road or is it Yola - Gombe road?) those places would have been filled with flowers and crosses that there won’t be any ‘roads’ left to pass. 
Now, while that might not be all there have been, I believe they are few because the roads are good. No potholes, no unknown objects flying in the air and all that. 

Lastly but definitely not the least, NEPA has taken light just 3 times in the past 18 months since I’ve been here. Twice was because of a storm and the 3rd time, a transformer went booom! And all three times, power was restored in less that 2 hours!

I have had the opportunity to travel to some big and other smaller cities and I will tell you what I think about them, for now, these are some of the things about my small town. 

So like the terminator, I’ll be back! 
With gists…

XoXo




 



Friday 23 April 2021

Naija Mom Fail?



Did you ever think of the day that you would have a child and ‘payback’ some of the stuff our mothers did to us?

Yes? Correct person!

No? So I am the only weird one?

Me sha, I always looked forward to the day I will tell my child ‘come and put it in my nose’ or ‘come and put it on my head’. Hmmmm my people, me that I have been priding myself as a correct Naija momma, especially since the day my kids  madams happily waited for ice cream only to find kpomo in the ice cream bowl. 

Oh my! That’s was a very happy day for me, the day I earned major points as a Naija mother. I wish I had a candid photo to show the level of disappointment on their faces when they opened the bowl to get ‘ice cream’. 

Tihihihi... but I got a picture of the ‘ice cream’ or should I call it ponm-cream?

😁

They are even lucky that it was something edible in the bowl, unlike when we had thread and needle and a complete sewing kit in Danish biscuit tins or even full on egusi soup with better palm oil staring at you when you open ‘fan ice’ container...

Are you then wondering why I titled this post ‘...fail’ if I had already gotten points? 

Toh,  I will gist you. 

So, there I was, basking in the euphoria of earning Naija momma points with my ice cream bowl of ponmo and this child of mine came to ask where to keep her plate and I said ‘keep it on my head’. 

My people, my people that is how she actually, I mean this child actually took 2 steps towards me!

Then she stoped and said ‘huh?’

....ah! I thought to myself that the ancestors must have seen what was about to happen and whispered the gospel to her at that very crucial moment in her life. 

Because ehn...?!!

And she actually looked confused when I said ‘Dear child, thank thine ancestors for the save, please.’ 

You see how I almost lost points? Not just momma points oh, Naija momma points! Kai, it pained me! Now I have to go to my arsenal and pull out all the Naija mom-ness-ability I can pull out and go full on Naija Mama on ‘em kids! 

But I have to stop falling my own hands like I did today... that’s how I was shouting 

‘who wants chips?

‘I said who wants chips?’

‘Can’t you guys hear me?’

‘I will change my mind oh’ 

And I was thinking shooo? How can I be trying to feed them and they are just staring at me like this, not saying anything?

Next thing I heard, as I had turned to bless them with the look was ‘Oh, I think she means French fries...right mommy?’

Mogbe! I have do myself... that’s how I just jejely said ‘ehn, French fries, that’s chips na!’ 

I shall be taking my L on this one sha as I think of ways to put small Naija-ness in ‘em kids.

Please share with me any of the stunts I can pull oh! I must recover my almost lost points. 

I refuse to carry a badge of Naija Momma fail, lai lai, it can’t happen!

Pray with me!

xoxo

 



Saturday 18 July 2020

Gender Reveal!


Hey peoples! 

Vira here (again)
So on my last post, I asked people of my gender a very important question (if you missed it, read it HERE, please).

It was a very important question; the answer would have made major headlines all over the world, I am talking about CNN BREAKING NEWS typpa major oh, as it would have solved a long time problem between the genders (that we knew of at the time)

But you see you my lovely readers?
You guys that I love so much for reading, sharing and commenting on my musings and craze, most of you decided not to answer the very very important question I asked but were asking me something else…

Turns out you guys were surprised when I mentioned '57 other genders', and wanted to know more.
I  am sorry, I have checked and 'they' say there are a total of 58 genders.

E shock you/ too?

See ehn, I was also left in a state of absolute shock when I read about the existence of more than the Apple Giving and Apple Eating genders.


How did I come about this knowledge? 

The other day I was reading  stuff I probably had no business reading about and I stumbled across this information.

So basically, some people wake up and depending on how they feel, they decide if they are a she, a he, a they, a them etc...
I told you it’s a confusing something, didn’t I?

Some even go as far as Caithlyn Jenner-ing... (this one is story for another day)
While I do not understand it, I do not judge their/them's/she’s/his'/her’s decisions.


Anyway, according to abc news, ''Facebook introduced dozens of options for users to identify their gender… and although the social media giant said it would not be releasing a comprehensive list, ABC News has found at least 58 so far''
Hmmmm Orisirisi...

The following are the 58 gender options identified by ABC News:
·         Agender
·         Androgyne
·         Androgynous
·         Bigender
·         Cis
·         Cisgender
·         Cis Female
·         Cis Male
·         Cis Man
·         Cis Woman
·         Cisgender Female
·         Cisgender Male
·         Cisgender Man
·         Cisgender Woman
·         Female to Male
·         FTM
·         Gender Fluid
·         Gender Nonconforming
·         Gender Questioning
·         Gender Variant
·         Genderqueer
·         Intersex
·         Male to Female
·         MTF
·         Neither
·         Neutrois
·         Non-binary
·         Other
·         Pangender
·         Trans
·         Trans*
·         Trans Female
·         Trans* Female
·         Trans Male
·         Trans* Male
·         Trans Man
·         Trans* Man
·         Trans Person
·         Trans* Person
·         Trans Woman
·         Trans* Woman
·         Transfeminine
·         Transgender
·         Transgender Female
·         Transgender Male
·         Transgender Man
·         Transgender Person
·         Transgender Woman
·         Transmasculine
·         Transsexual
·         Transsexual Female
·         Transsexual Male
·         Transsexual Man
·         Transsexual Person
·         Transsexual Woman
·         Two-Spirit

So, there you have it, the 58 genders according to oyibo people…
Do with this information what you want, you asked for it and because I am good peoples, I have delivered.

As you were.

😇



Wednesday 5 December 2018

Wait, What?


Do you know this song
'Kumbaya, my Lord
Kumbaya
Kumbaya my Lord, Kumbaya
Oooh Lord, Kumbaya...?

So the other day, I was sitting in the office and my boss came in to ask what language the song ‘kumbaya’ is... 
I said I thought it was Swahili. 
Zee said she thought so to...
‘Stee said same....copy copy
Then we proceeded to sing the song...
...me with my angelic voice...Yes, yes thank you 😇

Mr. O allowed sing to our satisfaction then told us the lyrics are actually come back here, my Lord..
               come back here...
               come back here, my Lord...
               come back here...

Wait! 
What?! 
Come back, ba wo?

Well, he explained that the song was sung back in the day by slaves in the fields who were praying to God for help...now I feel some type of way...
It actually sounds sad right? And I can understand how it could really be a song calling for help.

I checked it up and it seems like there is some truth to Mr. O's gist...true or not, it is a lovely song and I can't seem to get it out of my head.

What do you think? Do you agree with Mr. O?
Find out for yourself.
As for me, it is Kumbaya, my Lord, 
                         Kumbaya....

xxo