Where Is My Chicken...?

See, I love food..

I love to eat...

I might even be a foodie. Maybe not a foodie foodie but a foodie alright.  

Let me explain; there are days when I can compete with a horse and win and there are days when I can stay without eating anything at all. There are days in which I crave a particular thing and I will eat that one thing for a week or more. Then there are days when I’ll only drink tea for as long as the system agrees with it.

But the interesting days are when I get to eat!

And boy, do I eat!

Anything and everything goes on such days.

So…I was on foodie mode while travelling, I had all kinds of snacks in my bag…and I still wanted to eat! So imagine my joy when it was time for food…

Yay!

The lovely lady asked if I wanted chicken or beef with my rice and of course, I said the cutest "chicken please".

Like duh, which Nigerian wouldn’t go for chicken? 

Isn’t the Rice and Chicken combo in the Nigerian Constitution?

So I sat up smiling and waiting for my rice and chicken.

The rice and chicken arrived…

Yay, right?

Nope. 

No yay!

No yay as when I opened my food and saw the ‘chicken’, my jaw dropped to the ground and it sat there for a pretty long time!  

Isn't this what every Nigerian 'sees' when rice and chicken is mentioned? 

What manner of audio chicken is this? 

Ha’ahn! I did not see any chicken at all!!!

Haaaa!!!

I looked very well and almost looked under the food pack for my chicken…

Haba! How will this woman look at me and ask if I wanted chicken and bring 4 soft cubes of something…

I am sure all Nigerians on that flight were disappointed because they must have all asked for chicken. I know this because at some point, the lady said she’d be back with more chicken and she disappeared for a while.

Just Imagine the level of disappointment…

30,000 feet above sea level; that’s some major level of disappointment I tell ya.

And this didn’t happen to me alone. Just the other day, while chatting with Miss B on her way to the land of the Kwame Nkrumah, she said “you should see the fake chicken sandwich they gave me, they rubbed it like butter”

“I no dey even see chicken at all…”

So this is an airline thing? Did they miss the memo that Nigerians do not joke with their chicken?

Please, people of airlines, next time you offer chicken to a Nigerian, endeavor to make it visible because next time I hear but do not see chicken in my food, I will ask out loud "where is my chicken?"

Oh, hey Millish...