More Than Just A Slap

I always knew I'd write about this someday. You see, I have never been ashamed to say "I have been beaten before oh" yet I have dreaded writing about it. I think it is the fear of having to re-live the day but for some reason, since my blog sister Funmi Reese wrote on that Just one slap she received from a guy she wasn't even really dating, I knew it was time to share my experience. I don't get it, you are trying to get a girl to be with you and you don dey land am slap? What a wise man.

This past week i have heard about three ladies who have received a slap, 3 slaps and the last one got beaten blue/black by their husbands. Yes, this is like a whole different scale from mine and Ms Reese's experience because it was by their husbands. The same men who swore to love and protect them. What do you say to a woman whose husband beat up? Hit him back? Leave him? Threaten to do something to him? I don't want to go into that now.

I read about women who were killed by their husbands and boyfriends for one reason or the other and I am glad I walked away when I did. Even when his family called me to beg, even when he'd stalk me (that was another bad sign) I knew I had to be strong for myself and resist. A lot of people begged me to go back to him but i kept saying OYO is your own *in Rita Dominic's voice*  Next time I get beaten, you will come and tell me sorry and go ba?

What did i do when it happened to me? I ran away. Literally and figuratively I left him and never looked back because I didn't come to this world to be any body's punching bag. If it was Just one slap like my Sissy got, I probably would have tried to defend myself that day (bad idea, run! always run) but how do you defend yourself from a person that much bigger than you? My poor self weighed about 50kg back then and i think he would have been close to a 100kg. *Shey i was looking for a tall, well built bobo?*

 Did i mention how my own first slap landed about 5 minutes after we prayed? Actually, he prayed to God to "restore our relationship....." Maybe God told him no and it vexed him?

When the first slap landed, I think I heard a choir singing from afar and I am pretty sure I saw and heard birds singing all over the room and then there was darkness. That was the #adonbilivit phase which lasted just a second as I was jolted back to reality with another slap. I was thoroughly beaten up by this person I had been with for four years. This person whom i was sure "loved me", a  person whom I was to be married to.

And this is how Ms Reese described what happened after she was landed the slap "I think I saw the nine planets and some constellations.lol. It was that brutal.Mind you,it was just that one slap oh,but I saw many many many things. That one slap was enough." *RME* Just for one slap?Did I mention I got more than a slap? And my darling TIBS  said "my life flashed before me in a 360 degree angle....I saw dinosaurs....(you know they are extinct right?) Mami...I saw a dinosaur heading for me after that slap....and I felt like frankenstein...it was like the slap broke my face into bits......" And this is just from ladies I got in contact with recently. I wonder how many more aren't speaking out or running away.

We had been going through a rough patch in the relationship and I made up my mind to end it. And that was my offence. I should have seen it coming as he had threatened to kill me and kill himself if i didn't change my mind about breaking up with him.Of course stubborn me said no, he hit me so hard I was sure I was going to pass out. I was able to run out when I begged him to let me get my inhaler from my bag and he let me (first time in my life I thanked God for being asthmatic). I knew I had to run out or I'd become a statistic. No. scratch that, no one takes statistics here. I would have just been a topic on some blogs for a few days and that would be it.

I dont care what I did or said that day, I know I did not deserve for that to happen to me. When some people ask me why I am quick to say I was beaten up, I say BECAUSE IT HAPPENED! It is a shame that women are being encouraged to keep quiet about it. Why? I have nothing to be ashamed of. He should be ashamed of what he did, I shouldn't be. Wasn't the swollen lip and battered face enough? Why should I carry his shame? That is his cross not mine please.

 Every woman has to know that she is worth so much more than a punching bag to an angry, insecure man. Walk away pleaseand trust that God will bring to you a man that will love you the way you should be loved. I walked away and I found that person.

Please visit www.funmireese.blogspot.com to read her story.

xxo

PS.
It just occurred to me that it is Oscar Pistorius' day in court. He will find out if he is going to jail for killing his girlfriend in his house last year or not. I guess it is a good day for this post then. May Reeva's soul RIP. Amen

LOL!!!

Fake Smile

Is it just me or do your cheeks actually hurt when you fake a smile for more than 30 seconds?

I met someone today and I had to be polite so I faked a smile for all of one minute and about twenty seconds. And yes, my cheeks hurt. 

Is it just me or do yours hurt also when you fake smile?

The Weekend I had.

Hey guys! It is another monday and the first monday that I wasnt all grumpy about coming to work. If you know me, you know that is strange right?

Anyhow, my weekend was good, I was not at work on Friday because I had a fever and I needed to rest. I spent the whole day in bed and a box of maltesers right beside me.

Yummy!

So, I decided and was determined to hit the gym first thing Saturday morning; You know to burn the calories I packed from the maltesers (the ones from tuwo are welcome to stay). Before I knew it, Saturday morning was upon us and it began to rain. You see the trouble there right? I was made to make this very very hard decision to go burn the calories or store them up with the help of my lovely blue blanket.....I chose to keep them. I chose my blankie.  Blame the rain people, blame the rain! And I slept all day.

 

Sunday was great! I went for my 1st ever karaoke and I was ready to bring down the house! I had even chosen the song to sing before we got there. I was super excited and  had pictured my self like this.

 

I had imagined how wild the crowd would go and I even saw me signing a record deal at the end of the day. Hey, nothing wrong with dreaming big ahthink? 

You are wondering how it went right? Well, it didn't. We got there and as I walked on my imaginary red carpet, head help up high almost flipped my hair even but i remembered it was short  into the venue, it was quiet. Like really quiet and there were only 4 people in there! And I think they all work there.

I turned to my friend and asked "whattapun?" Where is the crowd I came to wow?!
Well, apparently the place was being renovated but my head was too up in the sky that I didn't notice all the work from outside. I only noticed as i walked back out, with my sanyin gwiwa aka ela back to the car.

I was not a happy somebody but my dream lives on! I will be back! I still look forward to a Karaoke experience someday and it will be just as great as I planned.

Do have yourselves and great week ahead and keep you dreams alive. Remember to celebrate you always!
xxo  

This could be you....

This cracks me up all the time! This could be me but tuwo wont let me. and cake, and donuts and meat and well alot of stuff.....

What is the but that wont let you be like this?

Office Romance?

"Despite the common wisdom that it's a bad idea and can have a disastrous impact on one's career, office romances are alive and well. And, according to a new survey, most people are willing to deal with them at work. In fact the survey showed that three-quarters of respondents worldwide believe that romantic relationships at work are not necessarily a problem."

So this is real, this is something that actually happens in work places *side eyeing Ms Reese*. The thing is as much as it works out pretty well for some people, it doesn't for others and personally, this is where i have a problem with work place relationships. After the romance is over, what do we do when we jam for stairs or for meeting? Running into each other is going to be inevitable. And it will hurt more for the party that was dumped. is still into the relationship.

There are about four married couples in my office, same building and all and it works for them (i assume) and there are others whose relationships did not turn out so great and of course we got to hear gist about who did what and how who isn't a nice person and generally, most of these relationships have become topics for gossip at work. Who doesn't like a little gossip here and there to while away time?  

There was this time I had my eyes on a colleague and  thought about the possibility of an office romance. I had pictured how cute it would be to come to work together, go for lunch and leave the office together while holding hands and giggling over how much in love we would be. Plus i figured it would be cool to go get a quick foot rub in the next office whenever I felt tired.

kindda like this

Then I thought hard about it and i decided "nah, that isn't for me" because if and when we have a fight, everybody will know. There wont be any of those cute lunches and foot rubs biko. And everyone will know there is trouble in paradise. Uh uhm.... I wont be topic for gossip here.

And I think I would need my space, I would want to meet and share office 'gist' and all. That wont happen if we work together now will it? I also wouldn't want to walk on egg shells around other colleague so as not to 'offend' office boo somehow. So basically, my opinion on this is if your office allows it, then WHATEVER ROCKS YOUR BOAT! or raises your skirt but it isn't for me.

Please share your opinions on this or any work place romance experiences you have. Remember Michelle met Barack at work, Merideth Grey and McDreamy still work together and who wouldn't want a relationship like theirs?. 

It Will End In Praise!

There are days I feel I am at my lowest emotionally, when it gets hard to even go on my knees to pray because I feel overwhelmed. I ask all sorts of questions and even cry myself to sleep. 

I had one of those days recently and I chose to give up on something important to me because I felt I didn't have the strength to fight any more.

When I go through this phase, I let myself feel sorry for a while, get it together and remember God's promises to His people. To Zion, To ME and I go down on my knees to ask His forgiveness for being anxious, for being fearful and for losing hope on the same thing I have spent hours asking for by faith. I remember who I am! 

I remember to cast all my fear on Him because He cares for me like no other and I know I have no choice but to cast all of my anxiety on Him and trust Him completely. After all, His Word in Isaiah 40:31 says that they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint. So, why worry? I ask myself.

I have taught myself to run to the Psalms of David for encouragement. See, I love that son of Jesse called David. He knew his way with God, no wonder He called him friend!

In my opinion, words of encouragement to self and anyone who may be going through one thing or the other can never be over emphasised. I force myself to run under the canopy of God because I know my saviour will cover me and give me security under His canopy. tihihihi....I couldn't resist doing that, it is the Sunday school teacher in me. :D

I will just drop some of the verses that help me go through the funk. As I continue to be hopeful and prayerful knowing that He will come through for me. He said it, I believe it and that settles it.

And I hope this reaches out to someone even in the smallest way that His name may be glorified.

Remember, whatever it is, it will end in praise! And like I tell myself  all the time, Pray! Pray! Pray! even when I don't feel like it, Pray and keep prying until something happens.

Psalm 91 and all the Psalms.

 

Neyo kind of day....

This song has been speaking to me and I think i know why. I have had it full blast and on repeat all day that I almost missed an offer by my colleagues to eat grilled chicken.

Thank heavens I saw them munching and took off my headphones in time to fight for my right to partake in the chicken chopping. They claim they called me and I didn't answer *side eye* Anyways, I have just had my share and I am back to listening to the song as I write this.

Find lyrics below....

"Mad"

Oh, oh, oh,
Oh, oh, ummm

She's staring at me, I'm sitting wondering what she's thinking
Ummm nobody's talking, 'cause talking just turns into screaming (oh,)
And now as I'm yelling over her, she yelling over me,
All that that means is neither of us are listening,
And what's even worse, that we don't even remember why we're fighting

So both of us are mad for nothing (fighting for),
Nothing (crying for),
Nothing (ooh,h)

But we won't let it go for nothing (don't let for),
Nothing.
It should be nothing
To a love like what we got oh, baby

I know sometimes it's gonna rain,
But baby can we make up now
'cause I can't sleep through the pain (can't sleep through the pain)?
Girl I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
No I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me (oh, no)

Umm
And it gets me upset girl when you're constantly accusing
(asking questions like you already know)
We're fighting this war, baby, when both of us are losing
(this ain't the way that love is supposed to go. What happened to working it out?)
We fall into this place where you ain't backing down, and I ain't backing down,
So what the hell do we do now?

It's all for nothing (fighting for)
Nothing (crying for),
Nothing... (ooh,h)

We won't let it go for nothing (don't let for),
Nothing.
It should be nothing
To a love like what we got oh, baby

I know sometimes it's gonna rain (Oh, it's gonna rain),
But baby can we make up now
'cause I can't sleep through the pain (can't sleep through the pain)?
Girl I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
No I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me (oh, no)

Oh, baby this love ain't gon' be perfect (perfect, perfect oh, no)
And just how good it's gonna be
We can fuss and we can fight
Long as everything is alright
Between us before we go to sleep...

Baby we're gonna be...
Happy....
Oh, ....oh,

Baby, I know sometimes it's gonna rain (it's gonna rain),
But baby can we make up now (can we make up now?)
'cause I can't sleep through the pain (can't sleep through the pain)?
Girl I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
No I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me (oh, no, no, no)

Lyrics: azlyrics.com

Confessions of a Sunday School Teacher....

I love kids, I love to play with them and have them around me. I love the sweet smell of babies, I love when they coo and want me to carry them. I always knew I was going to be a Sunday School teacher but somehow, I only got into it about 3 years ago mostly because I was clueless on what it took to be a teacher and didn't know where I would start from. I also didn't feel adequate enough to take on the position. 

Then there was the decision of what class to teach. You see, I am not really the 'teacher teacher' type. I know the kids will easily stand on my nose and maintain balance so i knew teenage class wasn't my place. I thought about the intermediary class and nah,  no reason really because by then, i knew the baby class was the place for me. 

Funny thing is I think the baby class is the 'hardest' class to teach. That was totally ok with me because I love love love love me them babies just don't poo on me. That is my only condition. Yea, i know my love is supposed to be unconditional but na bottom box i dey wear go church so I am sure they understand. My class is made up of kids from age 0-6ish.  This, in my opinion is the craziest class to be 'teach' as more care giving than actual teaching happens here. We have those that cry from the beginning of service till the end. We have the constant "anty i want to weewee" group, the "i want to eat wise" "i want water" and those that just want me for the sweets and biscuits that i always have. You see, their love is conditional too so we are even.

Now, the day i knew this was my true calling was the day a child puked on my new red *bottom* shoes and i wasn't even angry. That day, I knew i was born to do this *I believe it was the day i got my cape* and i knew I was ready to be a mother! I actually cleaned the little fellow up without looking twice at my shoes! Normally, I would have cleaned my new shoes after i send for the mother. Emphasis on new here please.

The joy that come with being a Sunday school teacher has no bounds.....We always get to eat birthday cake and caprisone. I feel this pride when I see these kids growing and actually learning and not just eating my biscuits. My absolute favorite is when they run to me, just to give me a hug and run right back to whatever they were upto. That makes me happy i chose to do this. 

 And when the babies i have carried, fed, played with, wished i could drop and run away sometimes turn one and begin to walk around, i feel proud of myself because even if it is just twice in a week i get to do this, i feel like i have helped a mother in some way.

  

There are also days these kids make you want to smack them! When they just wont listen, they wont keep quiet and the boys wont stop running around and i get kind of frustrated. Despite this, I think I am a pretty cool Sunday School teacher even if i say so myself as i have had parents come to me to say "weldone" "thank you". Really, what else can I ask for? After all, i enjoy what I do. I am glad i had a strong support system when i became a teacher, I met other teachers who have been dedicated to the kids, who were willing to show me the way. They welcomed me and helped me become the teacher I am today and for this, I am thankful.

I think the only thing that will be cooler than being a sunday school teacher is being a mom. Something I cant wait to be and I cant wait till I take my little pumpkins to Sunday School where they will learn about the love of Christ, listen to stories from the Bible, learn to manifest themselves in songs and dance and maybe even puke a little on a teacher too.

 

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.

Psalm 127:3

The weekend I had.

It was short. My weekend was short. In fact, i am shocked that it is Monday morning already.

The highlight of my weekend was being in church and having a good time in His presence. Oh, i finally removed my braids, hung out with my cousins and generally lazed around.

How did your weekend go? I hope it was more eventful than mine?
Do have yourselves a blessed week ahead.
xoxo

For this, I am thankful!

I have been thinking about doing a #30daysofthanks challenge for a while now, in which I would write one thing (or more) that I am thankful for till the 30th day. But for some reason, I have been pushing it. Not that there aren't a million things I am thankful to God for everyday, but I am jut lazy face palm. God has been faithful to me and mine no doubt and while I am not ready for the #30daysofthanks challenge yet, I am thankful everyday and this morning, after thanking God for life, I found something I am thankful for.

I left home like this.

Today, I am glad I am from the North. Because...well, you know...I no get choice that is how I know this thing I found and I am thankful for. I am thankful because this morning, I felt pure joy! I still feel it in my fingers and in my toes  I am beyond happy, I am exceedingly pleased. I have been smiling. My people, I am happy and grateful to God for tuwo da miyan kuka! *cue in Pharell's Happy song*

I got to the office like this!

Wait! I am not talking about any Tuwo da miyan kuka but dumamen Tuwo da miyan Kuka. Yes! This morning, I am most grateful for dumamen tuwo da miyan kuka mai daddawa da naman kaza. I didn't mind  running late for work at all as that meal was worth having my name down for late coming. 

This is just because, well, Happy and thankful!!!!

The problem now is that full blown itis has set in. Well, who wouldn't be sleepy after loading tuwo before 9am? I need to get chewing gum. That should help me stay awake in this office or coffee maybe?

Me right now.

I am still happy in my heart now though and I believe my tummy is just as happy. Nothing is gonna take that away from me. This I know!! Oh, I am thankful for who ever saw the baobab tree and decided it would be ok to dry the leaves, grind or pound them and make soup with. And the person that thought "what if we add daddawa and mai'n shanu?" I am thankful to him/her also. But the person that thought about daddawa sha.....weldon ehn?!

                                                             Tuwo da miyan Kuka.

Tuwo da miyan kuka....not the one I ate sha.

Wordless Post.

30 Day Abs Challenge

I didn't think I could do it, but I am doing it!

Woohoooo! It is day 5 for me and I am actually doing more than I thought I could. I think it is  very cool way to challenge myself without a lot of pressure. 

I have to get rid of this muffin top at all cost. I have this really nice bodicon dress that I haven't been able to show off because of my old friend, Mr. Muffin-top. I am tired of our friendship and it needs to go away for good so I can put on my nice dresses without a jacket to hide.

Go to www.30dayfitnesschallenges.com for squat challenges, bikini body challenges, the little black dress challenge and many more exercise routines.

Thank me now or letter. You are welcome. :) 

Should identities of quarantined persons be revealed?

So a Nurse who had contact with Mr. Sawyer fled the Ebola quarantine centre in Lagos and went to Enugu to visit her family? And reports say she has already had contact with about 20 people. 

Please how is this not wickedness and how does a person flee a quarantine centre biko? Just how? I don't get it and she is even a Nurse which means she understands the foolishness and wickedness in her actions. 

What if she tests positive to the disease? It means the family members she ran to meet will be at risk also. I am angry at her. It was a callous and stupid move she made.

Her actions have led to people asking for the identity of those being quarantined to be "exposed". Meanwhile

Presidential spokesman, Reno Omokri took to twitter to ask this: 

Well, with actions such as this, I would say a big fat YES but with that will come the stigma and even when such persons are declared ebola free, people will still run way from them.

Do Mermaids really exist?

I just read about South African President, Jacob Zuma and the 2 mermaids that were found in a pool in his house. I was more interested in how he got them than why he has them at all.  I began to wonder if they really exist and this  led to an argument in my office as my colleague says he does not believe they do. Na him sabi.

Well, Disney has told me that they do and Disney also made me understand that they are oh so pretty, with long, lovely hair and figures to die for but these Oga Zuma's own are not fine at all.  Help me see Oga Zuma's mermaids--------------------------------------------->

Disney Mermaids. See the difference? The only thing I can see almost  in common is the hair but Oga Zuma's own weren't taking care of theirs. No salon for SA? So I ask, who is lying? 

Has Disney been lying to us or did Zuma get old, washed out mermaids? They look like what I imagined Grendel's mother would have looked like before I saw the movie Beowulf. I want to know because I don't like being deceived oh! I must get to the root of this but for now, I will refer to Oga Zuma's own as Mami water while Ariel and her Disney friends remain mermaids.

I have made no attempt to agree or deny their existence, all I want to know is where the heck he got these   ugly mami water them from because I think he got cheated. He should go back and get the fine fine ones abeg.

                                                                                                                                                                                                      

About Ebola...

I actually hoped i could escape writing about this till it fades away but it looks like it isn't about to go away soon. 

What is it?

I know that it is a very scary disease. The worst I've heard of so far in my life.

It is deadly, it is contagious and it is untreatable(for now).

Few facts on ebola fever. 

Ebola is what scientists call a haemorraghic fever - it operates by making its victims bleed from almost anywhere on their body. Usually, victims bleed to death from Ebola. 

Ebola is highly contagious; being transmitted via contact with body fluids such as blood, saliva, semen or body discharges.
Ebola is NOT AIRBORNE!

About 90% of people that catch Ebola will die from it. It's one of the deadliest diseases in the world, killing in a few weeks. 

This is the sad part - Ebola has no known treatment or cure. Victims are usually treated for symptoms with the faint hope that they recover. 

Symptoms of Ebola fever:

Fever

Headache

Diarrhoea

Vomitting

Weakness

Stomach ache

Joint and muscle ache

Lack of appetite

How do i protect myself?

Wash your hands with soap

Dont eat suya or bush meat

Disinfect your surroundings

Fumigate if you have pests

What else can i do?

Spread the word!!!

May God in His infinite mercy protect us all from this disease.

visit www.ebolafacts.com for more details.

This is a Public Service Announcement!

Fellow Nigerians,
"You have gained weight"
"Ah, you don fat oh"
"You don add oh"
"You are putting on weight oh"
"You have added" etc
Are NOT, I repeat are NOT ways to greet someone you haven't seen in a while!
Kilode?!

This is how my people will just see somebody and shout "You don chop up oh". Really? Who ask you? Just say hi, hello, good morning, good evening first.

Okay, rant over.
Ajuwaya As you were.
Thank me for this info later.