Thursday, 18 September 2014

Keeping Secrets....

The Merriam-webster dictionary defines a secret as a fact or piece of information that is kept hidden from other people. That is clear enough right? So, do you have secrets? Can you keep a secret? How do you determine what should be kept secret? Who determines that? Is a secret only considered a secret if the person sharing says "don't tell anybody oh". What if it is something that could cause harm? Would you spill?

Personally, I am good at keeping secrets and sometimes I wish I didnt know half of what I know. Trust me, it is hard to keep a secret especially if it would make for correct juicy gist with your bestie. I am sure you know what I mean.

One of those better gist moments got me a thorough beating behind the intro tech  lab in my JSS 1. In my school, when you hear of a fight or beat-down behind the intro tech lab, you know shit had hit the ceiling mhen! And it becomes gist for days or maybe the whole term even.

So, here is what happened, I heard this juicy tale about one of my friends and well I did not know it was a secret so I shared. Innocently if i might add, hmmmm that is how I was lured to that dreaded intro tech lab oh and before I knew it, I was answering questions. Some serious "who told you?" "who did you tell?" "who asked you to tell anybody?" then a major punch was thrown in and another, and another. Those girls beat me ehn?!

I was like this for over a week
I was confused as the person that told me was right there also asking me questions. I was in shock that day and the odds were against me because I only went to the school in the second term (which is why I did not know about the lab, I would have refused to go with them) and those girls already had a bond right from the first term. So, guess who the bad guy was. Yup, it was me.
whaaaaat?
I became sort of an out cast for a few days before all went back to normal. But that is a day I will never forget. Guess what? I am still friends with most of the girls till today. I often feel tempted to ask if they remember that day or if they realized I was innocent but for some reason, none of us ever mentions that day.

Anyway, I learned a valuable lesson since then. I learned to pimp my mouth if I am not asked. I learned the act of keeping secrets. I cannot afford to get another beating in my life biko. The embarrassment has not faded away yet, I cant go and be adding more to it.

xxo


Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Life As An Identical Twin


Hi guys! Today we have our first ever lifeasvira blog guest writer! (wohoooooo!)I am sooooo excited that some one actually found this blog cool enough to write for.

Still giddy with excitement but I have to move along right? I have a question to ask. Here goes....have you ever wished you were something you are not and you know you will never be? I have.  I have always wished I had a twin sister. An identical twin with whom I could be all kinds of mischievous with. I keep imagining how I would even set her up on days she annoys me or just for the heck of it. 
I would be the one laughing
Well, it turns out I can never be a twin so I am praying really hard to have twins. Identical baby girls who I will play dress up with all the time and get to show off.

Our guest today has written all about life as a twin and I am so jealous because she is living the life I dream about.

This is her story....Living life as an identical twin...

So, I have this one basic deja-vu and it's the people asking me the same old question... Are you Mercy or Goodness... It happens like all the time, that's because I'm one of the luckiest to be a twin.
My name is Mercy Ayorinde and my twin sister Goodness is my mirror image. I'm an identical twin (so people think) supposedly born from the same zygote, so everything about us genetically is alike i.e physical appearances, mentality and even voice. My whole life has revolved around us being co-dependent. I have the privilege of having two soul mates: one before marriage(my twin sis) and the one after marriage(my spouse)...ridiculous isn't it?... I know that too. I basically live her life and she lives mine. Many people can't spot the difference so they call us Goodness and Mercy, some don't even care to know the difference coz they've tried their best. We feel very happy when one of our friends finally spots the difference coz the person must have paid much attention. But Goodness and I don't really care coz this mistake has been made so often.
We've had loads of funny, crazy, annoying, awesome and awkward moments including sad and unfortunate moments. We always argue about who's older. Well, I came out 60mins after her(its not my fault she came out too early), so whenever people ask who's older,she says she is and so do I "yorubalically, I'm the older one since they say I sent her to come take a look at the world (as if they were in the womb with us) but ideally she's the older one. But we don't care coz 60mins isn't such a big deal.... Is it?...*winks*
There was a time we slept soooooo deep that we fell from the bed, rolled under the bed that everyone in the neighbourhood was looking for those "thick headed girls" but couldn't find us. While they were preparing to go to the police station, my brother entered the room to pick his shoe from under the bed then he saw those crazy girls snoring in a silent mode with hands and legs on each other 'crashing'...lol!... It was an unforgettable experience.

Recently, she attended a class for me while I was making my hair. When I was done, she went out of the class then I entered, no one except a few people noted this and sometimes I use her ID card (shhhhhh.... it's a secret, I know it is wrong). I have had countless people come up to me with a dreamy look in their eyes saying I wish I were a twin, I'd love to have someone my age to play with (we always feel very important whenever we hear that).
Sometimes, it's quite embarrassing when people make such a big deal about us being twins. But most times, if people ask us questions it's really hard not to laugh. Some people be like "if I punch u, will she feel it?" (duh?!) And we're like we don't know... Do u want to give it a try? Sometimes they say are you really a twin or you just went to put on a different colour of clothes? (really?)

Now this is one of the annoying moments, while we were in secondary school, our discipline master gave me 3 strokes of cane all because he couldn't differentiate. After I finished crying, he was like "it's all the same thing". So much for being a twin.

Imagine shouting loud enough, almost waking the whole neighbourhood on Sunday morning, just because she wants to wear the skirt and blouse and I want to wear the gown...imagine delaying the hair dressers because she wants a side parting and I want all back... Imagine people saying your twin sis is finer than you *sad face*... Imagine talking on phone with your twin sis and people be like her boyfriend is making her laugh... Imagine sharing all ur friends with your twin sis (they are automatically her friends sef).
There are times we finish off each other's sentences and most times know what the other is thinking but there are differences. Sometimes, we act differently at extreme opposite ends of the scale... She's outgoing and I'm shy... I think I'm more emotional than she is *yay!* Sometimes, the littlest quarrel turns out to be a massive fight in which no one separates us (not even our parents) coz we would turn the aggression on you.

We have this mentality of having a boyfriend at the same time... We kinda have the same taste in guys and have a crush on the same guy(quite pointless). We want to get married on the same day, in the same venue, at the same time... Worst of all(probably best) having the same sex and number of kids at the same time.

On our birthday(November 20) its's always about us, I've never had the experience of it being all about me. Thank God we get the same type of gifts.
But despite our craziness, I always know she's got my back, I never felt alone or lonesome... I always feel the closeness with her that can't be replicated in any kinda friendship with anyone, not even my elder ones. Having a twin is like having a shadow that will never leave you... But right now we're feeling a tiny sense of loss coz it seems like we're not as identical as before.

So, there you have it. A little bit of Ayorinde Twinzteenz and yeah! We do wear same clothes, shoes and accessories-it's funky!
You see why I wish I had a twin? Still jealous.....
Do you have any questions for Mercy? Please ask.
xxo

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Little Loves....


Or Personal Favorites?....favorite things maybe? Well, I am sure you get the gist.
Do you have some little things that you just love to have or love when they happen to you or around you? Like when doors are opened for you? The occasional foot rub here and there? Presents just because...

You see, it turns out I have a veeeeeeery long list of the opposite of these little loves which i talked about HERE and now I want to talk about the little things or gestures that make me really happy. That make me feel oh so loved and sometimes even make me well up (nah, too tough to cry mhen) let me see, first up is having y'all blog visitors. I feel so blessed that I have all of you visiting this blog and commenting. I have made a few friends here and I am so grateful to you all.  Please keep coming and reach out to me whenever you want.
 

Next up, I love receiving presents. Especially when they come for no reason whatsoever (Thank you Monsura for yesterday).
  • Clouds. I love clouds and I can not say why.Cotton candy (I think this is because I love clouds)
  • Smell of babies (sans puke and poo).
  • Hot baths.
  • Forehead kisses from the Fave.
  • Finding money in my pockets.
  • The Fave's smile.
  • Giving hugs (especially to someone who needs it).
  • Getting hugs (all the time).
  • Polite people.
  • Cake!
  • Meat (fried, grilled, boiled, dried, just make it edible)
  • Nutella!

  • Road trips with the Fave
  • I love feeling loved.
  • Google!
  • Unexpected credit alerts!
  • The joy of taking off my bra at the end of the day.
  • I love driving with the music really loud....only when i am by myself.
  • I love to snuggle.
  • Yabbing my best friends gives me joy
  • I love when "Idris Elba calls to say good night Bae" (y'all know that only happens in my dreams right?)
  • Raindrops on roses. (lol! I just had to do that).
  • Hitting green lights my whole way home (like a bawse!)
  • Teaching children about basically anything that I know.
  • People who are willing to love and accept one another, inspite of their many differences.
  • Seeing very old couples happy together.
  • The moment of silence after listening to a good song.
  • When I accomplish something someone told me I could never do.
  • When I am appreciated.
  • You know tuwa da miyan kuka must be on this list right?
  • Most importantly on this list is knowing I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the imagine of He who has the whole world in His hands! 
So yeah, these are a few of my favorite things. Your turn! Please share with me and fellow blog visitors.
xxo



Monday, 15 September 2014

God Will Finish His Business



Hey people! It is a new week, have you thanked God for life and other things you hold dear to you? My weekend was packed! It was Children's day in Church yesterday and it was crazieeee! (Y'all know I am a Sunday School teacher right? No? Ok, go on and read all about my Confessions Of A Sunday School Teacher.)

It was crazie fun and the kids did well! I am so glad that they loved it all. We had recitations, drama, songs, and dance. Then there was a lot to eat and drink at the end of the day. I thank God for how it went; after rehearsing every weekend for about five weeks, I can truly say God has been faithful.

So, today I want to share on "God will finish His business". I did not write this, it is part of these daily motivations I get via email from a great teacher whose mission is to "teach the ways of God that God's people might be transformed, healed and experience the wonders of God", His teachings have blessed me greatly. So, any way, this is what he wrote concerning God and how He finishes all He starts in our lives.
Please check out his website; www.francisagbo.com for more inspirational messages and I promise you, it wont be a waste of your time. 


Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.  Genesis 2:1
God started to rebuild the heavens and the earth. The bible says He finished the work of building the heavens and the earth. Even though it looked difficult and there were obstacles, God finished what He started. God does not abandon projects because He is a finisher. Whatever work He starts, He finishes. Is there a work that God is doing or has started in your life? He will finish it. Remember He is the author and the finisher of your faith. Whatever He starts He finishes. There are no unfinished businesses where God is concerned. He is not a man and so CANNOT abandon a project.

The bible tells us in Ephesians 2:10, that we are God's work. We are His project. So never mind if you do not look like the finished product yet. You look that way now because He has not finished His business. You are God’s business. You are His investment and He has invested a lot in your life. He is not ready to throw away His business and investment. You are His project and His work in your life will be finished. Nothing can stop the work of God in your life from being finished. Remember the bible again tells us in Philippians 1:6 that He who began a good work in your life will perfect and complete it.
You are not your own. You are God's property. You are God's special project, the work of His hands. You are His business. And God always minds His business. He is doing a work in your life. That your marriage or home, He has started a work and He will finish it. Vast as the heavens and the earth are, God finished the work. So you and all the situations that need attention are but a drop in the ocean for God. If he succeeded with rebuilding this vast heaven and the earth, surely your case is but tiny in comparison. You are the work of His hands and He will yet finish His work. Every promise He has made you shall come to pass because God always finishes what He starts. Your life is God’s business and He will finish His business. Progress looks slow now but God will finish His business. He is building your whole life and He will finish whatever He has started in your life.

Is there any area of your life that needs a lift, God will accomplish it. That dream, that expectation, that desire or hope will not be dashed. God will finish what He has begun through you and in you. All he needs from you is faith and for you to hang in there despite the obstacles and challenges before you. Faint not. Quit not. If God has not said you should quit then don't quit. Stay in the home, marriage, office, career, business even though it looks like it is failing or struggling. If God has not told you not to quit then it must be because He is doing a work. And if He is doing a work, it shall be finished, because the Finisher is on your side. The work He is doing in your life will be finished. There will be no unfinished business in your life for God will finish His business in your life.
                                                                                             
 Do have yourselves a blessed week ahead.
xxo








Saturday, 13 September 2014

Just A Reminder....


Do you know that "one out of every eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer"?




Do you know that "the best protection is early detection"?

 




Do you know that You can examine your breasts in the shower, in front of a mirror or while lying down?

Do you know that “Forty percent of diagnosed breast cancers are detected by women who feel a lump, so establishing a regular breast self-exam is very important.” 
"While mammograms can help you to detect cancer before you can feel a lump, breast self-exams help you to be familiar with how your breasts look and feel so you can alert your healthcare professional if there are any changes".


For more awareness on breast cancer, please go to  http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org   and  HERE to read my post about it.

xxo

Friday, 12 September 2014

All About Superstitious Beliefs

TGIF!!!! 
So, I am sitting here thinking about my already loaded weekend and my palm itched. I immediately said to myself "yeah, I am going to get money soon". Then I asked myself "really"? (Yes, I do talk to myself like that sometimes) The money thought has always been the first thought in my head whenever my palm(s) itch. I was told this and some more as a kid and it grew on me. I think it may have actually happened a few times (sheer coincidence) now as an adult and a woman of faith, I know all that was bullcrap. I have learned to lol at how silly some of them are. 

Anyways, as you must have figured out, my itchy palm is the reason for this post because I began to ask myself how many of these superstitious beliefs did I grow up believing and have subconsciously held on to all this while? 
The free dictionary defines Superstition as an irrational belief arising from ignorance or fear.  Abeg, too serious biko, I am not talking about all those deep, scary stuff. I want to talk about the rather silly ones we believed as kids. You know the ones you were sure could spare you some punishments when you did something wrong or the ones that could fetch you some money. A good example is the one where we'd remove 7 eyelashes and throw away to make mother forget about those strokes of cane we were to get. Nope, she never forgot and even when my eye lashes almost became bald, I kept tugging at them with high hopes that she'd  forget. I was a firm believer mhen!

You see, even oyibo have this one.



These are some of the ones I can remember from back then. I knew them, I held onto them and I believed them.
  • Crossing your fingers when you wish on something to be....I still do this out of habit.
  • Of course when your palms itch, money!!!
  • Kill a centipede and you must count all it's legs or you die also. I never went near one, I was bad at maths and I did not want to die.
  • Point at a grave yard and you have to bite all 10 of your fingers or you will die....This was taken seriously because my granny's house was not far from a cemetery back then.
  • I always screamed blood of Jesus whenever I hit my left foot because, bad luck! Hit your right leg, good luck.
  • Do not sweep at night. I don't know why.
  • DO NOT whistle at night!
  • Cobwebs bring poverty.
  • If a person crosses over your legs while you are sitting, you'll have a child just like them. I still feel uncomfortable when anyone crosses over my legs.
  • There was something about cats. Especially black ones.
  • If the bottom of your feet itch, you will make a trip

For me, any palm meant money was coming jor.

 I looked up some other superstitious beliefs on google and found the following
  •  If you blow out all of the candles on your birthday cake with the first breath you will get whatever you wish for.
  • A beginner will always have good luck: beginner's luck.
  •  To refuse a kiss under mistletoe causes bad luck. Only of the kiss was from Idris Elba,
  • A sailor wearing an earring cannot drown. Really? 
  • Animals can talk at midnight on Christmas Eve. buahahahahaaa
  • The wedding veil protects the bride from the evil eye
  •  To make a happy marriage, the bride must wear: something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.
  • Warm hands, cold heart.
  • Cold hands, warm heart.
  •  If you walk under a ladder, you will have bad luck
  • Of course there is the Friday the 13th story but i don't want to go to the dark side.
Lol

I have shared and now it is your turn to. Have you ever heard any of those I mentioned or do you have even sillier ones for me? Kindly share with me so I know I am not the only one who grew up with all those beliefs around.

Do have yourselves a blessed weekend.
xxo


Thursday, 11 September 2014

More Than Just A Slap


I always knew I'd write about this someday. You see, I have never been ashamed to say "I have been beaten before oh" yet I have dreaded writing about it. I think it is the fear of having to re-live the day but for some reason, since my blog sister Funmi Reese wrote on that Just one slap she received from a guy she wasn't even really dating, I knew it was time to share my experience. I don't get it, you are trying to get a girl to be with you and you don dey land am slap? What a wise man.

This past week i have heard about three ladies who have received a slap, 3 slaps and the last one got beaten blue/black by their husbands. Yes, this is like a whole different scale from mine and Ms Reese's experience because it was by their husbands. The same men who swore to love and protect them. What do you say to a woman whose husband beat up? Hit him back? Leave him? Threaten to do something to him? I don't want to go into that now.
I read about women who were killed by their husbands and boyfriends for one reason or the other and I am glad I walked away when I did. Even when his family called me to beg, even when he'd stalk me (that was another bad sign) I knew I had to be strong for myself and resist. A lot of people begged me to go back to him but i kept saying OYO is your own *in Rita Dominic's voice*  Next time I get beaten, you will come and tell me sorry and go ba?

What did i do when it happened to me? I ran away. Literally and figuratively I left him and never looked back because I didn't come to this world to be any body's punching bag. If it was Just one slap like my Sissy got, I probably would have tried to defend myself that day (bad idea, run! always run) but how do you defend yourself from a person that much bigger than you? My poor self weighed about 50kg back then and i think he would have been close to a 100kg. *Shey i was looking for a tall, well built bobo?*

 Did i mention how my own first slap landed about 5 minutes after we prayed? Actually, he prayed to God to "restore our relationship....." Maybe God told him no and it vexed him?

When the first slap landed, I think I heard a choir singing from afar and I am pretty sure I saw and heard birds singing all over the room and then there was darkness. That was the #adonbilivit phase which lasted just a second as I was jolted back to reality with another slap. I was thoroughly beaten up by this person I had been with for four years. This person whom i was sure "loved me", a  person whom I was to be married to.

And this is how Ms Reese described what happened after she was landed the slap "I think I saw the nine planets and some constellations.lol. It was that brutal.Mind you,it was just that one slap oh,but I saw many many many things. That one slap was enough." *RME* Just for one slap?Did I mention I got more than a slap? And my darling TIBS  said "my life flashed before me in a 360 degree angle....I saw dinosaurs....(you know they are extinct right?) Mami...I saw a dinosaur heading for me after that slap....and I felt like frankenstein...it was like the slap broke my face into bits......" And this is just from ladies I got in contact with recently. I wonder how many more aren't speaking out or running away.

We had been going through a rough patch in the relationship and I made up my mind to end it. And that was my offence. I should have seen it coming as he had threatened to kill me and kill himself if i didn't change my mind about breaking up with him.Of course stubborn me said no, he hit me so hard I was sure I was going to pass out. I was able to run out when I begged him to let me get my inhaler from my bag and he let me (first time in my life I thanked God for being asthmatic). I knew I had to run out or I'd become a statistic. No. scratch that, no one takes statistics here. I would have just been a topic on some blogs for a few days and that would be it.

I dont care what I did or said that day, I know I did not deserve for that to happen to me. When some people ask me why I am quick to say I was beaten up, I say BECAUSE IT HAPPENED! It is a shame that women are being encouraged to keep quiet about it. Why? I have nothing to be ashamed of. He should be ashamed of what he did, I shouldn't be. Wasn't the swollen lip and battered face enough? Why should I carry his shame? That is his cross not mine please.

 Every woman has to know that she is worth so much more than a punching bag to an angry, insecure man. Walk away pleaseand trust that God will bring to you a man that will love you the way you should be loved. I walked away and I found that person.
Please visit www.funmireese.blogspot.com to read her story.
xxo

PS.
It just occurred to me that it is Oscar Pistorius' day in court. He will find out if he is going to jail for killing his girlfriend in his house last year or not. I guess it is a good day for this post then. May Reeva's soul RIP. Amen

Tuesday, 9 September 2014

Fake Smile




Is it just me or do your cheeks actually hurt when you fake a smile for more than 30 seconds?
I met someone today and I had to be polite so I faked a smile for all of one minute and about twenty seconds. And yes, my cheeks hurt. 

Is it just me or do yours hurt also when you fake smile?

Monday, 8 September 2014

The Weekend I had.

Hey guys! It is another monday and the first monday that I wasnt all grumpy about coming to work. If you know me, you know that is strange right?
Anyhow, my weekend was good, I was not at work on Friday because I had a fever and I needed to rest. I spent the whole day in bed and a box of maltesers right beside me.

Yummy!
So, I decided and was determined to hit the gym first thing Saturday morning; You know to burn the calories I packed from the maltesers (the ones from tuwo are welcome to stay). Before I knew it, Saturday morning was upon us and it began to rain. You see the trouble there right? I was made to make this very very hard decision to go burn the calories or store them up with the help of my lovely blue blanket.....I chose to keep them. I chose my blankie.  Blame the rain people, blame the rain! And I slept all day.



Sunday was great! I went for my 1st ever karaoke and I was ready to bring down the house! I had even chosen the song to sing before we got there. I was super excited and  had pictured my self like this.

 
I had imagined how wild the crowd would go and I even saw me signing a record deal at the end of the day. Hey, nothing wrong with dreaming big ahthink? 

You are wondering how it went right? Well, it didn't. We got there and as I walked on my imaginary red carpet, head help up high almost flipped my hair even but i remembered it was short  into the venue, it was quiet. Like really quiet and there were only 4 people in there! And I think they all work there.

I turned to my friend and asked "whattapun?" Where is the crowd I came to wow?!
Well, apparently the place was being renovated but my head was too up in the sky that I didn't notice all the work from outside. I only noticed as i walked back out, with my sanyin gwiwa aka ela back to the car.


I was not a happy somebody but my dream lives on! I will be back! I still look forward to a Karaoke experience someday and it will be just as great as I planned.

Do have yourselves and great week ahead and keep you dreams alive. Remember to celebrate you always!
xxo  


Tuesday, 2 September 2014

This could be you....



This cracks me up all the time! This could be me but tuwo wont let me. and cake, and donuts and meat and well alot of stuff.....
What is the but that wont let you be like this?

Monday, 1 September 2014

Office Romance?



"Despite the common wisdom that it's a bad idea and can have a disastrous impact on one's career, office romances are alive and well. And, according to a new survey, most people are willing to deal with them at work. In fact the survey showed that three-quarters of respondents worldwide believe that romantic relationships at work are not necessarily a problem."

So this is real, this is something that actually happens in work places *side eyeing Ms Reese*. The thing is as much as it works out pretty well for some people, it doesn't for others and personally, this is where i have a problem with work place relationships. After the romance is over, what do we do when we jam for stairs or for meeting? Running into each other is going to be inevitable. And it will hurt more for the party that was dumped. is still into the relationship.

There are about four married couples in my office, same building and all and it works for them (i assume) and there are others whose relationships did not turn out so great and of course we got to hear gist about who did what and how who isn't a nice person and generally, most of these relationships have become topics for gossip at work. Who doesn't like a little gossip here and there to while away time?  

There was this time I had my eyes on a colleague and  thought about the possibility of an office romance. I had pictured how cute it would be to come to work together, go for lunch and leave the office together while holding hands and giggling over how much in love we would be. Plus i figured it would be cool to go get a quick foot rub in the next office whenever I felt tired.
kindda like this

Then I thought hard about it and i decided "nah, that isn't for me" because if and when we have a fight, everybody will know. There wont be any of those cute lunches and foot rubs biko. And everyone will know there is trouble in paradise. Uh uhm.... I wont be topic for gossip here.



And I think I would need my space, I would want to meet and share office 'gist' and all. That wont happen if we work together now will it? I also wouldn't want to walk on egg shells around other colleague so as not to 'offend' office boo somehow. So basically, my opinion on this is if your office allows it, then WHATEVER ROCKS YOUR BOAT! or raises your skirt but it isn't for me.

Please share your opinions on this or any work place romance experiences you have. Remember Michelle met Barack at work, Merideth Grey and McDreamy still work together and who wouldn't want a relationship like theirs?.