Life As Vira… The Real Vira.

So I hear my momma has been telling you all about Life as Vira. 

Vira as in….me?!

I wonder what she has been saying considering the fact that I just made it to this side of life…

Can I sue her for this? For impersonation or something?

Well, while I think about that, please allow me respectfully send warm greetings to you all and to tell you a wee bit about me… the real Vira.

* bobs head to the real Vira Slim Shady*

* As we all know, my name is Vira, short for Pwavira; a name my momma had decided to give to me long before she met me… and I’ve heard her say as the years went by and with so much that had happened, my name holds an even more special meaning to her. Pwavira means “God has given you to me”. Maybe someday she will tell you all about it but as it is not my story to tell, I shall be moving on.

* I was born on the 29th of October, I weighed 3kg and was 19 inches tall, and I am a lot bigger and taller now. 😁

* My mama says I am a miracle, a testimony and an answer to not just her prayers, but the prayers of my aunties, mommas, grandmas, friends and well wishers. Someday, I will ask her what she means and I will come tell you about it… after all, I am the real Vira and this is about me.

* bobbing head to The real Slim Shady*  You know, cz the real Vira is standing up… 

I’m sorry

I digress. 

* My mama says I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God… what a wawuuu! I must really be special! She said I am for signs and wonders and a blessing from the Lord which maketh rich and adds no sorrow… good stuff, good stuff to hear, I tell you! 

* Wait, you all know I am cute, right? 

   Right?  😁

* My mama also said God has great thoughts concerning me, thoughts of peace and not evil. She says I am a precious jewel in God’s hands… how amazing this sounds!

* I am mostly a good baby, I do not stress her much but I tend to keep her up at night and I know she loves a good sleep; I do this for fun, just because I can.

* When I sneeze, I sneeze biiiiig! Rarely once but 3 or 4 times at a go. Maybe this means I have some super powers 🤔… we shall be looking into this in the future. 

* I have a head full of hair; my mama said she prayed about this and I am glad God answered her prayer cuz if you know my mama’s hair situation, you’d be thanking God for me also …. Need I say more?  

* My ears are not pierced yet because it is not allowed here till I am 3 months old.. I don’t get why, but i hope that is enough time for the parents to save and get me some good ice… diamonds, that is. 😜

* I fart glitters

* My mama is obsessed with me. I catch her starring at me all the time and I just chill and maintain beauty while I think of how to use this obsession to my advantage. 

* I already know I am loved and I know my mama has the best set of friends and family who love me. Now I need to think of how to get them wrapped around my tiny little fingers…

* My mama says I look like her, my godmother, Chops says I look like her, my aunties all say I look like them… i guess I will decide to look like the highest bidder at some point. 

* I was welcomed into the family of the Most High by being dedicated to God in church. It was a beautiful ceremony and looked like fun for the adults as they ended the ceremony with a lot of food and drinks, which i think is unfair as I, the guest of honor was not offered anything to eat. No fair! 😠

Errrm… what more should I spill about me? 

*Oh yeah, have i said I keep my mama up at night… just cuz I can? 😁

* I do not cry during bath time. Yeah, I know I am cool like that. 😎

* I do not like it when my hair is washed or combed…. Largely cuz I do not trust my mama with my hair. not with dem edges i see on her. 😏

Well, I guess this is it about me for now, I will update you when there is more to tell. 

I have also been thinking about it and since it appears you seem to enjoy my mama’s gists, musings and occasional amebo, I will graciously allow her continue to use my name on the blog… for now:

which means my lawyers will not be contacting her lawyers…. for now. 

Thank you all for reading about me and also, allow me to thank everyone for the hearty welcome to the world. It has been amazing and full of love since I got here and I cannot wait to meet you all.

I wish you all a very very happy new year; may all your dreams, wishes and prayers for the new year come true. 

I love you.

XOXO

Pwavira.

The real Vira.

PS.

Thank you for indulging my crazy mama by reading along as though I wrote this, I am sure it means a lot to her but let’s not encourage such behavior in the future, please.

PSS.. 

I am officially handing over the rights to use my name to her before I decide if to call my lawyers.

Wetin I go find for Sokoto… My Visit To New York City.

Hey peoples!

You’re probably wondering what I am on about today again abi?

Well, if you are familiar with this saying, you already know how it ends…

‘Wetin I go find for Sokoto dey for my sokoto’….

So I visited the Big Apple.

With a mission.

I was prepared for this trip, I planned for weeks, I was super excited to get there and be a New Yorker and all of that. But my main reason for going to New York City was something I so much looked forward to, I could not wait. I even bought a selfie stick so I do not miss a moment of it. 

You’re wondering what it is, right?

Well, I was given the opportunity to choose where I wanted to spend Christmas and I chose NYC, because, well… it is New York City #duh, secondly, I really wanted to see/feel/experience snow. Yes, this Naija girl had not seen snow before so I thought, why not and where best?

That is how local girl was flown to New York City. 

Hmmmm the cold that grabbed me the minute we landed, I endured because I am in New York City na and I will see snow, abi? And the colder it gets, the more chances that it will snow, abi? Also, the thought of snapping photos in the snow, doing the whole snow angel ish fueled me. 

This was going to be me in all the plenty snow I was looking forward to.

I was prepared, the weather app was my best friend, it forecasted snow from the day after my arrival, all was good with me, I could not wait. 

My brothers and sisters, dudes and dudettes, ladies and gentlemen, that is how I spent 7 good days in New York, one tiny flake of snow like this, my eyes did not see. My fingers and toes, I could barely feel because the cold, the cold, the cold!!!!  *wipes lone tear*

That is how vacation was over, I carried myself back to my small town and a few days later, guess what? It snowed!

Yup, it snowed here, where I was told it had not snowed in about 4 years… ehn, it was not much, it was like two Naira snow that basically melted before it touched the ground but it did snow! 

Ah, come and see how local girl ran out to enjoy the snow… I did not care if anyone was looking at me, I made sure I enjoyed the moment. I was happy, I saw it, I felt it, I let it fall in my mouth… I was a happy somebody y’all!

This was me… with way less snow. 😒

Well, well, apart from the snow disappointment (which was major) the visit was cool, I visited really cool places and I had fun. As a true fan of the tv show Friends, I had to go to Central Park… it is huge but I did not stay long as it was super cold.  I visited Madam Tussaud (where I had a nice conversation with Thor and he told me I was worthy of Mjolnir, I may or may not be lying about this). I also visited the famous Times Square, Rockefeller center, China town, Broadway, Radio music hall, Fifth avenue and Carlos Barkery!

There were other places I wanted to visit but at some point, going out felt like punishment as the temperature was in the minuses so I advised myself accordingly. It was a fun visit altogether though I was snow heartbroken.  

Now, would I want to go back anytime soon? Hmmm no, I do not think so. Why, you ask? That city is basically a bigger Lagos with better light and nicer cars and taller buildings (ok, ok, maybe a whole lot nicer than Lagos but you get the point)  There was always crazy traffic, trash on the road sides, people everywhere, roadside food vendors, cars honking, cab guys driving like mad folk and cussing at each other… kilode?!  And I was even in Manhattan which is supposed to be the Lekki of NYC. Nah, I like my sanity please, plus the city did not keep to its promise of snow (yes, it is still paining me).

So… that is it about my visit to NYC, I will be back with gist of my visit to Las Vegas *does the sign of the cross*

XOXO 

Xtra! Xtra!!

 Read all about it! 

Holla peoples! It’s been ages, right? I do not know what happened to me but these past months, it feels like my fingers just refused to cooperate with the keypad even though I’ve been gisting y’all in my head.

As always, I say a big thank you to all those who checked on me and kept visiting the blog even when I do not put anything up.

So… this post really doesn’t have a bearing, I just want to gist you general gist about this place that I live and all the kinds of things my eyes have seen in this Biden’s America. I’ll tell y’all  what has stood out, surprised or vexed me in the past year I’ve been here.

You ready? Ok, let’s gist…

In case you are still wondering, yes, na okra… (i know, i know, it’s okro we knoweth) on a drink. And to this day!

To this very day, I’m still wondering what it is doing on a cup, then how in the world do you go about it? Take a sip of the drink, chop small kubewa, another sip, eat a shrimp? I don’t know and we did not bother to find out as no one touched that drink. The drink is called a Bloody Mary, in case you see it on a drink menu, you can like to skip it… you’re welcome.

I found out there are no public transportation in this town! Yes, it is a small town but not that small. Even small keke they don’t have. I keep wondering how people without cars manage, though I see some walking around and i really wonder how they manage it all together. This is a town with a population of 37,000 people! You get my concern now, right? Maybe i should buy small keke or start doing ‘along’ self.

Moving along, the road rules here include the fact that one can make a right turn even if the light is red. Just be sure it’s safe to do so. A person must change their ‘vehicle registration plate’ aka number plate and their driver’s license within 60 days of moving to a new state. Oh, people who ride motorbikes have same rights to the roads, so you’ll never see a bike by the side of any car waiting, they will take up space on the lane and be feeling cool…. 

Just like this uncle that just stood in my very before…

I’m not sure why I’m beefing sef. 🙈 

Ah, the summer here ehn, the summer is bloody! It be summering like say na fight.

 At some point, it was as hot as Yola with 37 degrees! Yeah, you read that right. It was crazy but it’s getting so much better now.

Oh, have I mentioned that they love their okra? After the okra in the drink, I got some in my salad and I can’t stop  wondering why? Why? Why?

 

Well, for me, if it ain’t in a soup, I don’t want it. Kalas!

Then I saw these in Walmart… 

I’m still wondering why…

Moving on… again…

This town is known for their mini meat pies; which are really nice but the thing that stands out for me is that the pies are served with some kind of dipping sauce. I’ve never tried the sauce cuz my Naija self knows that it is juice or minerals we drink when we eat meat pie. Abi?

Oh, another thing… there are a lot of elderly people who go shopping all by themselves and i always feel bad when i see them trying to get stuff off the shelves… the home training in me makes me stop to help them every now and then but I can’t stop wondering why they have to come all by themselves and no one really bothers to help them. 

I’ve also noticed some crosses and flowers by some road sides when we travel and I figured there might have been fatal accidents there and the loved ones choose to do that in honor of their loved ones. So I made a note to count how many of such I’d see on an hour journey to the neihbouring  town and I saw 3… yup, 3 (I sigh in Benin -Ore road or is it Yola - Gombe road?) those places would have been filled with flowers and crosses that there won’t be any ‘roads’ left to pass. 

Now, while that might not be all there have been, I believe they are few because the roads are good. No potholes, no unknown objects flying in the air and all that. 

Lastly but definitely not the least, NEPA has taken light just 3 times in the past 18 months since I’ve been here. Twice was because of a storm and the 3rd time, a transformer went booom! And all three times, power was restored in less that 2 hours!

I have had the opportunity to travel to some big and other smaller cities and I will tell you what I think about them, for now, these are some of the things about my small town. 

So like the terminator, I’ll be back! 

With gists…

XoXo

 

Maybe ''We Should All Be...”

Imagine your sister didn’t get a promotion just because “na woman na”?

Imagine you found out a female you love and care about didn’t get an opportunity to to go school because, yes… she’s female.

Imagine your best friend, sister, wife, girlfriend or mother earned less than her male colleagues just because… Yeah, you get.. she’s a woman.

Imagine your favorite aunt not getting the ticket to contest for a political position you know she is fit for just because the 35% graciously reserved for women in politics has been met?

Imagine your sister is denied any form of inheritance just because…. She is a she. 

You see where I’m going with this? 

Again, imagine what could have made that man somewhere in the North comfortable enough to come out and contest for the position of ‘woman leader’?

Imagine these and many more.

Now if your felt bad or wan kind imaging any of the above happening to your sister, mother, wife, girlfriend, best friend, auntie, neighbor’s sister or any female in your life, then MAYBE WE SHOUD ALL BE FEMINISTS…

Wait, 

wait, don’t run please.

Hear me out. 

I strongly believe that there are individuals who do not truly understand what feminism is about. 

Somehow, my people (read Nigerians) believe that feminism is a man hating agenda. 

                                                

I think the one they are looking for is MISANDRY…which the Oxford dictionary defines as “dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men’’. Ehen… you see? It’s not me that talk it. 

So what really is feminism?

Same dictionary defines feminism to be  “the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality for all the sexes” simple put, Feminism is about all genders having equal rights and opportunities. It is about respecting diverse women’s experiences, identities, knowledge and strengths and striving to empower all women to realize their full rights… 

How can anyone be mad at this, please?

I know this is not an easy conversation to have, especially with errrm…. our men (lol) and I have tried to avoid writing on this for so long (side eyeing ’Steeeee) but then I came across this very very very stupid question and then the very very very cool answer by oluchukwu_N

What I do not understand is why my desire to be better in life, to earn more, to have a place on the table is seen as me hating men? I believe it is me loving myself enough and wanting what I want for me. 

Why is it frowned at when women want to get equal social, political, educational rights?

Would having these stop me from being able to cook and be a good wife, mother, sister or child? 
Why should a woman always have to prove her worth despite having same qualifications as her male counterparts?
Why should I be paid less for doing the same job as a man just because I am female? (they don’t want us to chill with the big boys, abi?)
Why should I be denied the right to make decisions for myself, my future just because I am female?
Why should every bad driver be ''na woman na, no wonder" as if having a…..errrrm you know…is a major requirement for changing gears.

                                                        

If standing for my self and other women makes me a feminist, then I shall wear my badge with pride!
And all this doesnt mean I would disrespect the males in my life but I will always stand up for what I believe in and for what is right for me.
Please respect me in all my femaleness...

So please, stop depicting doom on feminists and feminism and see it for what it is;  the struggle that will help your wives, daughters, sisters to reach their full potential in whatever sphere they choose to shine in life…

Last last, like Chimamanda said, “I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femaleness and my femininity. And I want to be respected in all of my femaleness because I deserve to be.”

So, I will conclude by saying now that you know Feminism is about making the woman better, getting a woman to be seen and heard and allowed to soar, then i think maybe we should really all be feminists... because who doesn’t want their own to soar and shine bright like the diamond she truly is? 

Selah! 

EVER BEEN SERVED?

 

It was Valentine’s day just a few days ago and I was a happy somebody. 

Happy because I am a sucker for love, I love love…So much so that I have appointed myself the president of the Awwww Association. 

Which meant on Val’s day, I was on duty, busy roaming the streets of the ‘gram, surfing my contacts’ WhatsApp status’ and I even found my way to the bird app in search for awww moments for which I awww-ed  and awwwww-ed and smiled and was happy for the Val-ed. 

But you know how this life is now, I also came across some servings of breakfast (if you don’t gerrit, forget abourrit) Some were hot and some were cold, coooold, which made me quite unhappy but I am hopeful for all those who were served; hopefully by next year, I will awwwwn with them (if you’re on this table, say amen!) as heartbreak isn’t cool at all and I’m sure we  you all know a thing or two about this. (Wanna share?).

Back to love… love is a beautiful thing and good relationships are amazing and break-ups? They suck, which ever way they are served suck! 

But I want to talk about a different kind of break-up today.

I want to talk about friendship break-ups. 

Do like this ✋if you’ve been served this special kind of breakfast. 

I am doing like this ✋with my full chest as it has happened to me. 

Not once.

(Wipes lone tear)

Have you ever woken up one day and realize that, you have become strangers with your person? The one person whom you have shared laughs, secrets, cried together with, to and for? The one person who was your gist partner, who would go all FBI and gangster on any one who tried to mess with you, your gossip partner, the one whom you’ve shared so many meals with.

                                                       

Like I said earlier, it has happened to me…

Not once…

(Wipes lone tear…again)

…and it hurt. It hurt because I don’t make friends as easily as others, so I hold my friends dear; my girls know this. Now, if you make it to my holy of holies (HOH)…sigh! Imagine a senior member of the HOH ghosting and becoming a stranger… ko da now! 

I see all these quotes about how if you lose a friend, they were never your friend to begin with; I don’t agree because the good times were good, it was real and it was good and it was amazing and we had loads of fun; so I would rather believe that ‘some people are in your life for a time or purpose’ and when that is fulfilled, they move…you move (just like that 💃… see what i did there?)  

Some broken friendships are fixed, broken up friends make up and are able to work through whatever issues they had (psssst Omofeba),  some are back-ish but not where they used to be; some are just dead and gone and there is just no going back; which is also ok. So whatever level you are now, maybe accept it as it is, apologize if you are wrong, find out if maybe you did wrong and don’t even know it… that’s what I did; for closure: I guess.  And I am glad I did, I am happy where we are. I am happy with the friends I have now and it is what it is!

So do you, if you want, how you want…

xoxo

PS. If you are reading this, I want you to know that I’ll always be here if you need me.

PSS.. I know I am cool like that.

E tu… (You too?)

 

Hey peoples…

Y’all know how everyone’s father/mother was so brilliant and always took the first position in class?

That’s what comes to mind seeing/reading/hearing everyone come for bullies lately.

So we were all good, juniors loving, never punished, never wicked seniors back in school? 

Everyone is suddenly speaking out against bullies and bad guys; which is a good thing but I’m here wondering…

So who was the bad senior back then? Who was the wicked senior back then?

We’re now all saints abi? Who was the senior that sent an eleven year old me to fetch charcoal in an iron? Yes, hot red coal from the fire place, with whatever I could mange to.

Who was the senior that took us to green house to give us the punishment of our lives just because…?

I remember who it was, I remember them…

Or was it my own classmate back in JSS 1 hounding me and making fun of me for wearing glasses and calling me kashin kifi (fish bone) because I was a lanky 11 year old? She did this every time she saw me especially when we went to fetch water… mostly because I could not carry my own bucket and to her, i was just a glasses wearing ajebota from Lagos and so I deserved to be laughed at…

I remember her. 

I remember her name.

So I’m sure that other juniors remember you too if you ever bullied them… abi this one that happened to me wasn’t bullying?

So before we become all sanctimonious and call out others, take a moment to think about your own deeds… were you that senior? 

If there was social media in your time, would you have trended for being that Senior?

I know for sure I wouldn’t have been...

I pray for little Sylvester and I pray for his family. I hope those boys get caught and brought to book.

And if this post hit a nerve, I hope you are gracious enough to apologize to those whom you bullied and if you still are a bully, (because it doesn’t end in school) I hope you repent because it doesn’t do you or anyone any good; it only causes pain and sorrow and in this case, death.

Let’s do better, lets teach ours better. 

xo

My First Thanksgiving…

Hey peoples,

I told you about my first Halloween here right? Well, I think it is only fair to tell you about my first Thanksgiving day here as well..

So, it was Thanksgiving day on Thursday and I enjoyed every bit of it. Basically, Thanksgiving day is a national holiday in the US and it occurs on the 4th Thursday of November every year. It is an old tradition dating back to 1621; it is a day Americans gather for a day of feasting and well… giving thanks.

But ehn I was just looking all around and wondering how this is thanksgiving day… and not a single gele was in sight? 

Ha! I laugh in Family Worship Center Multicolored Geles of all shapes and sizes.

 

My brain found it difficult to process a thanksgiving day sans gele; so much so that I stood by the window looking at passers by, hoping I’d see one person all gele’ ed up because the Nigerian in me can’t understand how I’m not seeing fully decked up folk rushing to church… didn’t they say thanksgiving day? So its just sit at home and eat? Ok, I can do that also!  

But y’all know I can’t let you down right? So I put in some Naija thanksgiving day spice by dressing up in my lovely Ankara skirt and blouse designed by the one and only @lytanistitches (check her on the gram and thank me later) I looked Naija thanksgiving day ready and  carried on Thanksgiving the American way. It was a memorable day, Kids were excited to have a full turkey to feast on, I was super glad I didn’t have to cook but sit pretty to eat.

In the spirit of the day, I thank God for me and my family… this year has been crazy! 

I have been met with the worse and most painful loses. I have felt pain physically and emotionally, I’ve been humbled, my faith took a hit but I am here, I am healing, I am learning to take it a day at a time and my faith in God is totally restored. I am thankful for my walk with God. I am thankful for the me I am right now.

And I am especially thankful for you, for reading my musings and making me happy knowing that at least one person out there is reading what I write even though I am not consistent in dropping gist  life gems. Thank you and please keep clicking and reading and don’t get tired. 

Well, that’s it for thanksgiving and I am sooo looking forward to Christmas because ehn, this my little town is a town of shan’t gree for Christmas! Lights have been up since mid November and right now, people have put up all kinds of amazing, amazing Christmas decors that I just drive around and get my fix. I am soooo looking forward to the annual Christmas festival; which would be the 95th and kicks off on Saturday! Can you beat that? As its my first one here, the Christmas junkie in me can’t wait! You can check out #NatchitochesChristmas on the gram or twitter to see what I’m talking about, I promise, you’ll love it! It’s crazy awesome. 

I just know it is going to be amazing because the way they are going about it, one is tempted to think it is from here Mary went to Bethlehem to give birth to Jesus. 

So yes, I will be back… with #NatchitochesChristmas gist.

Hasta la vista

Tihihihi….did you see what I did there?

xo

My First Halloween

Hey peoples! As you all know, It was Halloween a couple of weeks ago.

I must say folk here sure do take their Halloween seriously! There were all kinds of spooky decor in the shops, people decorated their houses and cars. And to my Nigerian self, I would say it was errr…. interesting.

A neighbor 4 houses down actually had what I would say was the best Halloween decor in town. If there were awards for that, I’m sure he’d have taken it home. It was what it should be… ghosts, ghouls, huge spiders and the works. In fact, I have decided to just get an arrow,  point it to his house and ‘DITTO’ if he keeps the same energy for Christmas. 

Anyways, as the day drew closer, them kids started talking about costumes, I succumbed and asked what/who  they wanted to dress as… That’s how Kay said she wants to be a Cop and the Madam Em said she wants to be a Bat. 

Hian! 

All the Nigerian in me heard was SARS and winch. 

Ehn? 

In which house?

Please, please, is my Nigerian-ness a joke to these kids? 

Anyways, I said mba, no! Nobody is dressing as a bat in this house, we can manage the olopa but I am too Nigerian to agree to the bat costume. I quickly got the bat lady to repeat “I am not a bat in Jesus name” after me. I even considered giving her small anointing oil to drink and wash away such thoughts from her head after which I declared she was going to dress as an Angel.

I wouldn’t have it any other way and being the Angel she truly is, Em agreed (not that she had a choice) and she looked so lovely in her Angel costume on the day of…

The Nigerian Momma in me was pleased… 😊 

It was a complete costume set which came with a white dress, a halo, a wand and wings. 

Now while I’m not sure what Angels use wands for it looked nice and she was happy to have it… I was in my Momma win mode when  this child looked at me, pointed the wand at me and said “mommy I’m going to turn you into a frog”.

Egba mii oh! How did we get here? I knew I should have given her anointing oil to drink the other day. I really should have!

Me thinking of what to do to the child.

How did my Angel turn to a frog turning somebody?

Anyways, the look of bad eye she got from me was enough for her and her wand to quietly walk away from me.

The kids weren’t allowed to go ‘trick or treating’ as we are still cautious of the ‘rona and me I didn’t have power to go and do babiyanla  and no kids came to ours either, which means other people are also being cautious or our neighborhood is full of snubs…

Anyways, that’s it for my first Halloween, nothing much, just interesting…

Maybe next year I dress up…yes?

Oya suggest costumes for me. 

xoxo

To Smile Again…

Six months ago, my world stood still…

My heart; broken into a million pieces…

3rd of May 2021…

An Angel gained his wings…

God called My father home.

Yeah, my last post here was full of excitement and all, little did i know that 3 days later, my world as  I knew it would shake.

And it did shake!

Hmmmmmmm!!!! No words can ever describe how it feels so I’ll not talk about it.

Anyways, traditionally, today is the official end of the mourning period. 

Yes, my culture says ‘we move’ after 6 months… but how does one really ‘move on’ when there are days it hits soo hard and feels all fresh like I just got the news?

How does one move on when there are days that come with strong urges to hear his voice?

To hear him say ‘that’s my dautar!’ and literally hear the pride and love in his voice? 

I wish he was here for me to have a laugh with and laugh at when he’d text ‘SOS, some recharge card please if you can’. I thank God that I was always able to can.

I am glad I did all in my power to make my father happy and proud but i wish he lived longer for me to do more… I had plans to do so much more.

Through all this though, I thank God for the life he lived, for the lessons i learnt from him.

I am glad I am his dautar. I would not change anything or edit a day even if I could.

My father was the MVP of fathers. 

My father was good, he really was and I’m not even saying this because he was my father. 

He really was a good person.

He showed me how to love.

He thought me bwaraune.

He thought me contentment.

Through him, I understood patience.

He was wise.

He never raised his voice even when he was angry.

He corrected in love.

He loved him a good plate of fish peppersoup and if people were awarded for eating tuwo, we’d have dozens of awards hanging in the house.

My father was very peaceful.

He was the one who would give water to the thirsty, feed the hungry and give the shirt on his back to a stranger; and when we complained that he was doing too much, he’d say ‘my friend, don’t worry, God will provide’ and God provided. 

Always!

So somehow through the hurt, the denial, the anger, the grieve, through the rough days wondering when it will get better, we have and I pray we continue to find ways and reasons to smile again because that is what he would want for us… 

Keep smiling,  James Habba Alson, the Angel who gained his wings though our hearts were not ready.

You are sorely missed, Baba.

❤

It Is My Birthday!!!

Holla People!

It is my birthday! 

I am officially a forty year old!

Hey God! 

Where did the time go? How am I forty? Omofeba, come and see oh!

Dear ‘81 Gang members, so we are really 40?

Yekpa!

Well... it is what it is and boi, am I glad... I haven’t really been excited about a birthday in a while but for this one, the big 4.0, I am super excited! I have a lot to be thankful to God for... 

I really do.

See ehn, truer words haven’t been spoken since the person that said ‘life begins at 40’ said so. S/he definitely was talking about me because ehn, I can’t even begin to explain how much life has changed in a month. So much has happened, changed, come to be, been given, taken.....in a short time, I am in awe... so much so that I would sometimes ask myself ‘is me be this?’.

So, so, if you don’t know this yet, I will soon be an IJGB. What I am saying pe is that I have left Buhari’s Naija and I now live in Biden’s ‘merica. It has been great but the JJC in me is even greater, I tell ya and with JJC as strong as mine, you know that means I already have plenty gist for y’all right?

Ehen, back to my birthday gist...No gist oh! I am just overwhelmed with God’s love and kindness and grace and mercy and the gift of life and... you get the gist na! And I have also come to the realization that gravity is not my friend... and I have officially come to the age where I can’t care; I cannot come and kill myself, biko. 

So everyone, please join me in resting my youthful years to rest as I gallantly step up to ‘Elder’ status. So, pray for me, not just today, but anytime I come to mind.

Raise a cup of whatever you drink for me.

Finally, let me be the first to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE 40 GANG, ONE OF THE WORLD’S FABULOUS AND MOST GORGEOUS INDIVIDUALS - ME!!! 

xoxo

Naija Mom Fail?

Did you ever think of the day that you would have a child and ‘payback’ some of the stuff our mothers did to us?

Yes? Correct person!

No? So I am the only weird one?

Me sha, I always looked forward to the day I will tell my child ‘come and put it in my nose’ or ‘come and put it on my head’. Hmmmm my people, me that I have been priding myself as a correct Naija momma, especially since the day my kids  madams happily waited for ice cream only to find kpomo in the ice cream bowl. 

Oh my! That’s was a very happy day for me, the day I earned major points as a Naija mother. I wish I had a candid photo to show the level of disappointment on their faces when they opened the bowl to get ‘ice cream’. 

Tihihihi... but I got a picture of the ‘ice cream’ or should I call it ponm-cream?

😁

They are even lucky that it was something edible in the bowl, unlike when we had thread and needle and a complete sewing kit in Danish biscuit tins or even full on egusi soup with better palm oil staring at you when you open ‘fan ice’ container...

Are you then wondering why I titled this post ‘...fail’ if I had already gotten points? 

Toh,  I will gist you. 

So, there I was, basking in the euphoria of earning Naija momma points with my ice cream bowl of ponmo and this child of mine came to ask where to keep her plate and I said ‘keep it on my head’. 

My people, my people that is how she actually, I mean this child actually took 2 steps towards me!

Then she stoped and said ‘huh?’

....ah! I thought to myself that the ancestors must have seen what was about to happen and whispered the gospel to her at that very crucial moment in her life. 

Because ehn...?!!

And she actually looked confused when I said ‘Dear child, thank thine ancestors for the save, please.’ 

You see how I almost lost points? Not just momma points oh, Naija momma points! Kai, it pained me! Now I have to go to my arsenal and pull out all the Naija mom-ness-ability I can pull out and go full on Naija Mama on ‘em kids! 

But I have to stop falling my own hands like I did today... that’s how I was shouting 

‘who wants chips?

‘I said who wants chips?’

‘Can’t you guys hear me?’

‘I will change my mind oh’ 

And I was thinking shooo? How can I be trying to feed them and they are just staring at me like this, not saying anything?

Next thing I heard, as I had turned to bless them with the look was ‘Oh, I think she means French fries...right mommy?’

Mogbe! I have do myself... that’s how I just jejely said ‘ehn, French fries, that’s chips na!’ 

I shall be taking my L on this one sha as I think of ways to put small Naija-ness in ‘em kids.

Please share with me any of the stunts I can pull oh! I must recover my almost lost points. 

I refuse to carry a badge of Naija Momma fail, lai lai, it can’t happen!

Pray with me!

xoxo

 

It's MM's Fortieth!

 

Y'all remember my promise to write something on each of the 81 Gang members' 40th birthdays right?

Well, well, well, it is my MMs 40th today and I kaint keep calm about it!

If you know me, then you have an idea how much MM means to me. 

She is my go to guy. 

My friend friend. 

Honorable member of my innermost caucus

Chairlady of my holy of holies.

When she hurts, I hurt.

When she cries, I cry.

When she laughs, I laugh.

When she's happy, I am happy

If she's sad, I ask who I need to jump... 

You get the gist...?

In fact, legend has it that when she was in labor to birth her little human, she was shouting my name. I do not understand why oh, but yeah, we tight like that!  

Have I mentioned that I am her daughter, Zee's self appointed god mother? Well it is only a befitting position for me as it was my name being screamed when she was coming into the world.  

So I met Mairo 13 years ago when we were new buckets at work; everyone kept to themselves most of the time but I had noticed her during inauguration (as i was looking for potential friends na) though for some reason, I thought she was pompous so we couldn't  be friends.

Yes oh, just like that, I had tried and judged her in my head (world people behavior, I know).

Then we got posted to the same department and we kindda became friends... but the moment I knew for sure I wanted to be real friends with her was when I realized she may be an asset to me... you see, my dear MM has a pure silver tooth from Mecca, when she smiles, you cant help but notice how radiant she is... anyways, that's how I thought e go good to remove this tooth and sell someday if we get broke and so I finally let her become my friend because you know, asset! 

Sense will not kill me. lol 

Dear Hajia Mairo (with emphasis to the Hajia cz you know, silver tooth) I am glad you are my friend.

I am blessed to have you in my corner always.

Thank you for praying for me. 

Thank you for praying with me.

Thank you for sharing Zee with me. 

Thank you for the laughs.

Thank you for being my MM. 

And so, as you turn the big 40 today, I wish you the best of the best that life has to offer.

I pray for you today, my friend, my sister, may this special day bestow you with more love and joy than you ever imagine because you deserve the best in life. 

Happy Birthday, Mairo, I love you wujiga-wujiga!

So to the rest of the 81 gang, I say go, go, go, go, go, go, go who's next?!

    

It Is 'Graves Into Gardens' For Me...

Holla!

Do you sometimes feel like worshipping God just because you know...

He is God?

Like just because...

He Is GOD!!!!

Not asking  for anything, just worshipping.

Today was one of 'em days for me and am I glad or am I glad? 

So I have decided to share  one of my absolute favorite worship songs for today.

Thank me now; or later. 

I am just happy to share... because I am good peoples!

Lyrics: I searched the world But it couldn’t fill me Man’s empty praise and treasures that fade Are never enough Then You came along And put me back together And every desire is now satisfied Here in Your love Oh there’s nothing better than You There’s nothing better than You Lord there’s nothing, nothing is better than You I’m not afraid To show You my weakness My failures and flaws Lord You’ve seen them all And You still call me friend ‘Cause the God of the mountain Is the God of the valley There’s not a place Your mercy and grace Won’t find me again You turn mourning to dancing You give beauty for ashes You turn shame into glory You’re the only one who can You turn graves into gardens You turn bones into armies You turn seas into highways You’re the only one who can You’re the only one who can Written by Steven Furtick, Chris Brown, Tiffany Hammer, Brandon Lake ©2020 Music by Elevation Worship Publishing, Bethel Music Publishing / Maverick City Publishing Worldwide CCLI #: 7138219 #elevationworship #gravesintogardens #brandonlake #live

source: YouTube

'Tis The Year!

Holla Peoples!

Happy New Year! 

Yes, I know it is almost the end of January but it is still a new year, abi?

So, Happy New Year to y'äll, my peoples!

This is the fastest January in a while, abi? Like someone said, this January is not Januar-ing like other Januaries Januaried... 

So, how have you all been? Good riddance to 2020 abi? The year that overhype killed, I hope 2020 has helped us to learn not to overhype anything.

I am excited about this year oh, excited because 'tis the year I turn 40!

Yaaaaaaay! 

Hold up, did you yay?

Yes, you did? Cool, yay!

You did not yay? Oya, go back and yay before we carry on because it is a yay-ing something please.

So not just that I am turning 40, some of my favorite people are also turning 40 this year which makes it extra special for me as na all of us dey old the old together. 

See ehn, just call us the '81 gang! 👍🙌

See Members of the 81 Gang!

Yes, dear Omofeba, we are 40ing oh!  

Kweks, who was pursuing you na? 

Saá, I see you had a great one! 👌

MM, you're next.

Cousin TBK, make i show J-town?

'Steeee that venue still looks good oh!

 Eni, how e go e for Eko?

Ms. B, where are we going for the photo shoot this year? 

Sister Kate, how far? where the gbedu go dey?

Ransi Cika, baby of the Gang, you'll close the year for us in grand style, abi?

Dear Members of the '81 gang, just know that I will be putting up a post on your days and it may not be pretty.  

So anyways apart from the birthday announcement, I don't have any gist yet.

However, I wish us all a very very very happy and fulfilling 2021. I pray God comes through for us all but remember, the new year will not magically be your best year ever unless you take deliberate steps on making it be the best year ever for you and yours. 

Do not mind all those you too can aspire, perspire and refire your maguire people oh! Put in the work, say the prayers, say the No(s) that have to be said, hold on to faith, believe and where you need to, sweat it out! 

Happy New Year!

xoxo

HIGHLANDS (SONG OF ASCENT)

This is definitely one of my favorite worship songs.

There is a story behind this song for me; a story of God's love and faithfulness. 

A story of His protection over me and mine.

I will share someday.

For now, enjoy and I hope it ministers to you as powerfully as it did for me.

Stay blessed!

VERSE 1

O how high would I climb mountains

If the mountains were where You hide

O how far I’d scale the valleys

If You graced the other side

VERSE 2

O how long have I chased rivers

From lowly seas to where they rise

Against the rush of grace descending

From the source of its supply

PRE-CHORUS 1

In the highlands and the heartache

You’re neither more or less inclined

I would search and stop at nothing

You’re just not that hard to find

CHORUS

So I will praise You on the mountain

And I will praise You when the mountain’s in my way

You’re the summit where my feet are

So I will praise You in the valleys all the same

No less God within the shadows

No less faithful when the night leads me astray

You’re the heaven where my heart is

In the highlands and the heartache all the same

VERSE 3

O how far beneath Your glory

Does Your kindness extend the path

From where Your feet rest on the sunrise

To where You sweep the sinner’s past

VERSE 4

O how fast would You come running

If just to shadow me through the night

Trace my steps through all my failure

And walk me out the other side

PRE-CHORUS 2

For who could dare ascend that mountain

That valleyed hill called Calvary

But for the One I call Good Shepherd

Who like a lamb was slain for me

BRIDGE

Whatever I walk through

Wherever I am

Your Name can move mountains

Wherever I stand

And if ever I walk through

The valley of death

I’ll sing through the shadows

My song of ascent

PRE-CHORUS 3

From the gravest of all valleys

Come the pastures we call grace

A mighty river flowing upwards

From a deep but empty grave

Words and Music by Joel Houston & Benjamin Hastings

© 2018 Hillsong Music Publishing CCLI: 7122399

Gender Reveal!

Hey peoples! 

Vira here (again)

So on my last post, I asked people of my gender a very important question (if you missed it, read it HERE, please).

It was a very important question; the answer would have made major headlines all over the world, I am talking about CNN BREAKING NEWS typpa major oh, as it would have solved a long time problem between the genders (that we knew of at the time)

But you see you my lovely readers?

You guys that I love so much for reading, sharing and commenting on my musings and craze, most of you decided not to answer the very very important question I asked but were asking me something else…

Turns out you guys were surprised when I mentioned '57 other genders', and wanted to know more.

I  am sorry, I have checked and 'they' say there are a total of 58 genders.

E shock you/ too?

See ehn, I was also left in a state of absolute shock when I read about the existence of more than the Apple Giving and Apple Eating genders.

How did I come about this knowledge? 

The other day I was reading  stuff I probably had no business reading about and I stumbled across this information.

So basically, some people wake up and depending on how they feel, they decide if they are a she, a he, a they, a them etc...

I told you it’s a confusing something, didn’t I?

Some even go as far as Caithlyn Jenner-ing... (this one is story for another day)

While I do not understand it, I do not judge their/them's/she’s/his'/her’s decisions.

Anyway, according to abc news, ''Facebook introduced dozens of options for users to identify their gender… and although the social media giant said it would not be releasing a comprehensive list, ABC News has found at least 58 so far''

Hmmmm Orisirisi...

The following are the 58 gender options identified by ABC News:

·         Agender

·         Androgyne

·         Androgynous

·         Bigender

·         Cis

·         Cisgender

·         Cis Female

·         Cis Male

·         Cis Man

·         Cis Woman

·         Cisgender Female

·         Cisgender Male

·         Cisgender Man

·         Cisgender Woman

·         Female to Male

·         FTM

·         Gender Fluid

·         Gender Nonconforming

·         Gender Questioning

·         Gender Variant

·         Genderqueer

·         Intersex

·         Male to Female

·         MTF

·         Neither

·         Neutrois

·         Non-binary

·         Other

·         Pangender

·         Trans

·         Trans*

·         Trans Female

·         Trans* Female

·         Trans Male

·         Trans* Male

·         Trans Man

·         Trans* Man

·         Trans Person

·         Trans* Person

·         Trans Woman

·         Trans* Woman

·         Transfeminine

·         Transgender

·         Transgender Female

·         Transgender Male

·         Transgender Man

·         Transgender Person

·         Transgender Woman

·         Transmasculine

·         Transsexual

·         Transsexual Female

·         Transsexual Male

·         Transsexual Man

·         Transsexual Person

·         Transsexual Woman

·         Two-Spirit

So, there you have it, the 58 genders according to oyibo people…

Do with this information what you want, you asked for it and because I am good peoples, I have delivered.

As you were.

😇