Wednesday, 3 November 2021

To Smile Again…


Six months ago, my world stood still…

My heart; broken into a million pieces…

3rd of May 2021…

An Angel gained his wings…

God called My father home.


Yeah, my last post here was full of excitement and all, little did i know that 3 days later, my world as  I knew it would shake.

And it did shake!

Hmmmmmmm!!!! No words can ever describe how it feels so I’ll not talk about it.


Anyways, traditionally, today is the official end of the mourning period. 

Yes, my culture says ‘we move’ after 6 months… but how does one really ‘move on’ when there are days it hits soo hard and feels all fresh like I just got the news?

How does one move on when there are days that come with strong urges to hear his voice?

To hear him say ‘that’s my dautar!’ and literally hear the pride and love in his voice? 

I wish he was here for me to have a laugh with and laugh at when he’d text ‘SOS, some recharge card please if you can’. I thank God that I was always able to can.

I am glad I did all in my power to make my father happy and proud but i wish he lived longer for me to do more… I had plans to do so much more.

Through all this though, I thank God for the life he lived, for the lessons i learnt from him.

I am glad I am his dautar. I would not change anything or edit a day even if I could.

My father was the MVP of fathers. 

My father was good, he really was and I’m not even saying this because he was my father. 

He really was a good person.

He showed me how to love.

He thought me bwaraune.

He thought me contentment.

Through him, I understood patience.

He was wise.

He never raised his voice even when he was angry.

He corrected in love.

He loved him a good plate of fish peppersoup and if people were awarded for eating tuwo, we’d have dozens of awards hanging in the house.

My father was very peaceful.

He was the one who would give water to the thirsty, feed the hungry and give the shirt on his back to a stranger; and when we complained that he was doing too much, he’d say ‘my friend, don’t worry, God will provide’ and God provided. 

Always!

So somehow through the hurt, the denial, the anger, the grieve, through the rough days wondering when it will get better, we have and I pray we continue to find ways and reasons to smile again because that is what he would want for us… 

Keep smiling,  James Habba Alson, the Angel who gained his wings though our hearts were not ready.

You are sorely missed, Baba.





27 comments:

  1. Words can't describe the feeling indeed but God is the strength of our hearts and our portion for ever. Shalom!!!

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  2. Omo mehn! Lost for words. God is perfect. My big sister.

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  3. Six months already, still fells like yesterday. Keep resting Baba.

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  4. Oh my baba na!
    I lack words to say cos tears keep running down on my face.keep resting Baba na.

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  5. May God continue to comfort you specially dear in ways only he can, baba is remembered fondly and lives on thru you. Big hug ❤❤❤

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  6. Been there, done that, it never gets easy, I always tell people to grieve as much as they want to, it is soothing.... 6 months on, but God's grace is sufficient for you. Borom, my thoughts and prayers are with you always. Keep smiling just like he would love you to.

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  7. 6 months already ..life of life ..keep resting baba what a gentle man he was ..mama Humeino talks so highly of him..

    God continue to comfort you my dear sister.love always

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  8. Aww. My love. Pele. It doesnt hurt less. It just gets easier to cope with the grief.

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  9. Aww... May God continue to give you more strength and grace

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  10. Is still very shocking my dear

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  11. Baba surely lived a good life. Please take solace in that sis. God will continue to strengthen u.

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  12. Apparently, he lived a beautiful life.
    May his gentle soul continue to rest in peace.

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  13. God knows the best my dear. Truly he was a good father.May he continue to rest in peace 🕊️

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  14. May he continue to rest in peace 🙏🏾

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  15. God continue to rest the soul of Baba. Sannu Habba;s dautar,Ubangiji ya kara mu ku hankuri

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  16. Sis, you didn't put his reading habits, I bet you miss that too. When you will go to the shops to purchase books and send to him and even exchange books between yourselves. Plus how tou will tax him not because you didn't have but just to snuggle into him n collect little change.
    Tell me about the days that keep passing after he left and I will agree that words aren't enough to express what our minds bring to the fore. Hmmm! Words are truly not enough.
    The beauty is that in all of these, the mercy and grace of God still sees us through. Be strong 'ma lady' and not only let time heal your broken heart but also, God's comfort to make you new again like only He can.
    I love you plenty. Stay safe.

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    1. Sis, you didn't put his reading habits, I bet you miss that too. When you will go to the shops to purchase books and send to him and even exchange books between yourselves. Plus how you will tax him not because you didn't have but just to snuggle into him n collect little change.
      Tell me about the days that keep passing after he left and I will agree that words aren't enough to express what our minds bring to the fore. Hmmm! Words are truly not enough.
      The beauty is that in all of these, the mercy and grace of God still sees us through.
      Be strong 'ma lady' and not only let time heal your broken heart but also, God's comfort to make you new again like only He can.
      I love you plenty. Stay safe

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  17. Hhm...B darling, I can't promise you the hurt will go away cos I guess it never really does, but I know you'll learn to live with it taking solace from knowing he lived a good life. Baba was a good man. A father to all! May God continue to console you my dear. You are loved ��

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  18. Hmmmm, how time flies. Baba was a good and generous man. May God continue to console u.

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  19. He really made his mark in the sands of time. As the song goes "thus would we part from d earth and it's toiling only remembered by what we have Done" he will always be In our hearts. May God continue to Rest his soul and comfort the entire family.

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  20. Hmmmmm..death they say is inevitable,but wen it happens we Neva seem to come out of d shock neither does d pain fades away.loosing a love one is one of the greatest irreplaceable lost on earth..I often ask was there no one death cud tuk but these special ones?we cry behind close doors just to hide our pain from other,I hear people say it's been month and u still crying??u can't hold tears bk wen u remember u won't see ur loved ones again.but there is comfort knowing they walk their walk of faith on earth righteously and we're called home to rest.Rest on BABA

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  21. Time heals that I can assure you though one never forgets.......The Lord will keep strengthening and comforting you. 🙏🙏 To be absent in the body is to be present with the Lord. We will continue the sweet fellowship when we meet there.🤗❤️

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  22. Your words💔😭 I am so sorry for your loss, though this loss is irreplaceable, I hope God comforts you in other ways you least expect❤

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  23. Hmm i dont know how it feels but all i can say is that daddy is in a better place

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