Tuesday, 22 March 2016

Compliment or Insult...?

Random guy: Auntie you dey drive like man sha oh...

Me: *blank stare*

I am confused. Should I take that as an insult or a compliment? How do men drive biko? Do men drive better? Is there a way I should drive as a woman? Really, is there a rule to it? Because I am confused oh. Very confused. 

All these men that just expect a woman to drive shitty just because....well just because you are a woman. Completely forgetting that we are all humans with the abilities to do things EQUALLY!!!!

That is how one day, my friend (lets call her Ms Bee) was trying to park her car and this guy (lets call him Guy 1) kept asking her to "come, come,come, oya cut your hand, cut your hand" and he confused the heck out of her. Now my dear friend who loves her car more than she loves me knew that if she kept "cutting hand", she'd end up bashing her precious toy and she nicely said "oga, I know what I am doing, please let me do this my way"
For some reason, what she said got him really angry and he walked away grumbling. 

If you just thought 'thank God he left her', scratch that because his friend (lets call him Guy 2) came along and unleashed the female dog bitch in my friend. This is how it went down: 

Guy 2: Ha'ahn Madam, he was just trying to help you na.

Ms Bee: But oga, I know what to do, he was only confusing me.

Guy 2: Ehn but you know he is a man na.

Ms Bee: Ehen?

Guy 2: Ehn , so he knows better na.

Ms Bee: Oh, so because I am a woman, I don't know what I am doing?


In case you are wondering, that was some pretty heavy shit she said to him, I had to censor or i'll have to anoint my laptop if I write what she said to Guy 2. It is needless to say he never hesperreddit!    I told you about the female dog ish didnt I?  Now you know I was saying the truth.

Now, the thing is why would guy 2 just assume that guy 1 knows better just because he is a man? So basically, by virtue of having boobs among other things, I am incapable of driving well and every man knows better than me?


I really cannot deal. 

Back to Ms Bee, I thought about how guy 1 probably does not even have a car (i'm not throwing shade, I am just saying it as it is). Even if he owned one, it most likely isn't a Kia Sportage  , even if it is were a Kia Sportage, wetin concern am sef? Talking about cutting hands and confusing people up'andan. One thing I know is that after the response they got from my darling Ms Bee, they both will think well before telling a lady to 'cut hand' anyhow. 

Now I am ranting right?

I don't want to, so i'll end this gist now. But I am still very confused. Please, help a sistah out...is "auntie, you dey drive like man sha.." a compliment or an insult? 

Monday, 29 February 2016

Happy Leap Day!!

Yay!!!! The leap day is here! *before you roll your eyes, yes I know you have a           calendar and you know that*

Back to my excitement.
*i don’t even know why i am so excited about the day*

It is said that statistically, the chances of being born in a leap year is about 1 in 1,500. And I just couldn't be that 1?! oh, how I wish it was my birthday. How cool would it be to be born on the 29th of February?
                                              *cue in R.Kelly's I wish*

So, what exactly is a leap year? How did we come about adding an extra day to February? What is the day really about?

The Tropical Calendar:
This is the sole explanation for the leap year according to www.independent.co.uk...
A year is the time it takes the Earth to fully circumnavigate the sun, which is approximately 365 days, 5 hours, 48 minutes and 47 seconds.

Every four years we add an extra day to the month of February, the month with the fewest days, to keep our calendars on track.

If we didn’t do this the seasons would shift around the calendar, and in 750 years’ time June would find itself in the middle of winter.

So, basically it wouldn't affect us as we no get winter for Naija? Or maybe harmattarn in June for us? These people sef. 

All I know is that it is a leap day, I am excited for just that reason and it is a beautiful day to be me!

Y'all have a blessed day!

Love and light.


Sunday, 14 February 2016

Light and Love!

In the spirit of Valentine, I am sharing my new found love song. It is currently on repeat, yup I love it that much.
Title: Thinking Out Loud
By: Ed Sheeran

To The Half....RawR
Eli Bee, thank you for cake.
Tk, Happy bornday! I am coming to chop rice and drink kunu.

To everyone else reading thank you!
Happy Vals day!

Love and light!

"Thinking Out Loud"

When your legs don't work like they used to before
And I can't sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?

And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70
And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Well, me—I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am

So, honey, now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are

When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades
And the crowds don't remember my name
When my hands don't play the strings the same way (mmm...)
I know you will still love me the same

'Cause, honey, your soul could never grow old, it's evergreen
And, baby, your smile's forever in my mind and memory
I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe it's all part of a plan
Well, I'll just keep on making the same mistakes
Hoping that you'll understand

That, baby, now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
Thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are (oh, oh)

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, lo-ud

So, baby, now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Oh, darling, place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
But maybe we found love right where we are
Oh, baby, we found love right where we are
And we found love right where we are

Friday, 4 December 2015

Awesome Tattoos!

I love tattoos and no, I will never get a permanent one. For 3 reasons
a. Leviticus 19:28.
b. Momma will scratch it off with a rake or something worse.
c. I cant stand pain.

Because of the reasons above, I became a huge henna fan. I love me some henna. Henna is the quick, painless and washes off in a week or so.
I would have loved to have an infinity sign on my inner wrist. Maybe with The Half's initials somewhere. We know I cant have it so....... If you have a tattoo, please tell me about it. Why did you go for it? Was it painful? Do you regret having it? Tell me bout it.

Image result for infinity tattoos on wrist
love this!


I'll totally love to have this.


Tuesday, 1 December 2015

Getting to zero....The time to act is now!

It is world aids day.

Do you know your status?

Have you been involved in any 'risky' behaviours lately?

Do you know your status?

Have your body fluids made contact with anyone elses'?

Do you know your status?

World AIDS Day is held on 1 December each year. It raises awareness across the world and in the community about the issues surrounding HIV and AIDS. It is a day for people to show their support for people living with HIV and to commemorate people who have died.

The day is also a way to demonstrate international solidarity for people living with HIV and to commemorate the spirit of those who have died battling the deadly disease.

Run by WHO as one of its global public health campaigns, World Aids Day was the first ever global health day. Currently in its 28th edition, it was observed for the first time in 1988.

The theme of World Aids Day 2015 is: Getting to zero; end Aids by 2030. The federal theme this year is: The time to act is now. Both themes comply with UNAIDS's fast-track strategy to end the Aids epidemic by 2030. The strategy aims at averting 21 million Aids-related deaths, 28 million new HIV infections and 5.9 million new infections among children by 2030.

"Ending the AIDS epidemic and leaving no one behind in the response will profoundly affect the lives of millions of people around the world, for generations to come," UNAIDS executive director Michel Sidibe said to mark World Aids Day.

According to a latest global report by UNAIDS, the number of people on life-saving antiretroviral drugs has doubled since 2010, while incidents of new cases have fallen by 35% since 2000. In June, about 15.8 million people out of a total of 37 million people living with HIV were taking the drugs.

Get involved in the fight to end this epidemic by:

Wearing the red ribbon: As a symbol of your support to the campaign.

Raising awareness: Like I am doing right now.

Talk to Someone about AIDS: Talking to someone improves knowledge about HIV/AIDS. You can also join NACA and other organisations in raising their voices for the course through road shows and other awareness programs.
Get Tested for HIV/AIDS:
Testing is the gateway to treatment and positive livelihood. On this day (WAD 2015), getting involved through testing yourself helps you to know your status so that if positive, you can take up medication and if negative, you can abstain to stay free.

Again, I ask. Do you know your status?

Get tested today!!! *whispering: I have not been tested today, but I will*

Thanks to www.ibtimes.co.uk,  www.naca.gov.ng,  www.aids.gov for all the serious talk.

Thank you for stopping by my blog on this day of our Lord.

Oya, go and check your status because you know e no dey show for face ba?


Monday, 30 November 2015

Ghen Ghen...

The moral of the story you are about to read is this: Do not gossip!!!! especially if it is not gossip you can defend and not look stupid for being involved in.

Now, the story.....My colleague, 'Stiii and I gossiped and an alakoba mentioned it. Well, as 2 sharp people, we communicated quick enough and came up with a correct, air tight defence and all is well with the world again. #whew

See ehn, this is why I prefer not to indulge in gossip oh. Even though this person did this thing and we  all talked about it casually, it almost came to bite our a@&%. Honestly, our defence wasn't even tight enough. But we immediately owned up to it and there was the fact that what happened was not a lie so the pressure was still on the 'doer' and not me and 'Stii; aka the clearing and forwarding officers.

After THIS happened to me sef, I don't know why I went to put my mouth and ear in this talk. Better for me to continue to piim my mouth this one that I always get caught, I know for sure that gossip is not part of my calling biko.


Tuesday, 1 September 2015

Blog crush!

I heard about her sometime back but only visited her blog yesterday and I fell in Love!
I love how she loves God!
Oh my! going through her blog dug up a hunger in me. The way she loves God makes me want to love Him even more.

Best part is she is a worshipper. I love worship. I know praise is important but I am a worshipper. I love to worship and I love worshippers!

I read her story, looked at myself and I just knew I had no reason not to look up to the Master through good and bad times. And she writes and sings her songs!

So, here goes....my blog crush is...

~~~~~~~~~~Drum Roll~~~~~~~~~

I am still exploring the site and I keep falling in love with Gloryyah.
I'll always, always say a prayer for her. You'll understand if you check about me  and you'll see worship in a different light when you read her take on Worshipping from a Place of Pain

Dear Gloria, if you ever get to read this, I want you to know I love you and thank you for stirring up the thirst for true worship in me once more. I came across your blog at the time I really needed it. Thank You and I look forward to worshipping with you at the Master's feet someday....
I love You.


My love for Michael W Smith!

Oh, how I love me some Michael W. Smith.
I have loved him long long time ago. No, not the kind of love I have for Idris Elba oh, that one another kindda love.

 I love Michel W. Smith in the Lord! Yes, I love bro Michael like that.

He sings the most amazing worship songs; there is just  something about him. Sorry, I cant explain but yes, I love him and he is definitely one of my favourite worship singers. Oh, and he is not bad looking either.

I'd give my left leg for a chance to see him in concert....or anywhere sef.

I'll leave you with one of my favourite Michel W Smith songs.

Step by step 
God, You are my God
And I will ever praise you
Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise you

I will seek You in the morning
And I will learn to walk in Your ways
And step by step You'll lead me
And I will follow You all of my days

God, You are my God
And I will ever praise you
Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise you

I will seek You in the morning
And I will learn to walk in Your ways
And step by step You'll lead me
And I will follow You all of my days
I will follow You all of my days

Yeah yeah

We honor You, oh Jesus
And forever we will sing

For You alone are worthy
And forever we will sing


We honor You, oh Jesus
We [Incomprehensible], yeah yeah yeah


We honor You, oh Jesus
And forever we will sing


For You alone are worthy
And forever we will sing



Wednesday, 29 July 2015

For the Yang to my Grey....

Image result for birthday

On this day, many many many many many many many  years ago, an ajebota was born in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. She was called Maryam. News of the birth brought joy to Garkuwa, in Hadejia; Jigawa state. Her cheeks were like oyibo puff puff. She was such a cute little thang.....

Then she grew up.

And became my PERSON, my bestie...(You see, she did shishigi to gain that spot in my life.... but that is story for another day.)   

Oh, then she moved to Lagos and became an agbero *wipes lone tear*
In case you are wondering, her cheeks are now like regular puff puff.

Today, I wish my person God's love always.

I pray that your days be long
I pray you find happiness, true happiness
May you sneeze glitter 
May you farts smell like cinnamon 
May you find peace in all you do
May you never cease to laugh at yourself when you have to
May you find your forever love soon

I'll break every rule for you today. For you, I twerk.

Happy Birthday to my Bestie of life
Ore mi atata
Ore mi toh bahd
Abgero toh sure
Yoghurt maker toh quality

I know that He who began a good work in your life is faithful to complete it.
Have yourself a very very very very special day filled with everything your heart desires and may all your birthday wishes come true.

You are the Yang to my Grey
I love you wujiga wujiga
I love you to the moon and back
I love you yesterday, today and tomorrow


I cant stop twerking...
That's my friend, 
thats my bestfriend...
You berra
Cz she's my bestfriend 
*twerk twerk twerk*

Wednesday, 22 July 2015


Image result for angry emoji
Somebody shoot me now!
How can a person be so lousy?
haba? Kilode?

I am jejely sitting in my office and this man comes in. Next thing, noise.
Plenty noise.

In comes the politics wahala... (rolling my eyes)

I do not care about PDP/APC. Please go away!


*pulls hair*

Did he just shut the windows?! See me oh. Who send this one?

Why is my boss being nice to him biko?


Image result for angry emoji
I have never really liked this guy (don't judge me) and I am really, really not in a jolly mood right now. 

Hold on, I am going to open the window without  a word. (I am bad arse like that.)

I am back. 

He is still making noise. There is nothing I can do about it so....Let me continue gossiping surfing the web my thing.

How are you? Yes you... Good? No annoying colleagues? Lucky you.

Go on, have yourself a jolly good day.