Gender Reveal!

Hey peoples! 

Vira here (again)

So on my last post, I asked people of my gender a very important question (if you missed it, read it HERE, please).

It was a very important question; the answer would have made major headlines all over the world, I am talking about CNN BREAKING NEWS typpa major oh, as it would have solved a long time problem between the genders (that we knew of at the time)

But you see you my lovely readers?

You guys that I love so much for reading, sharing and commenting on my musings and craze, most of you decided not to answer the very very important question I asked but were asking me something else…

Turns out you guys were surprised when I mentioned '57 other genders', and wanted to know more.

I  am sorry, I have checked and 'they' say there are a total of 58 genders.

E shock you/ too?

See ehn, I was also left in a state of absolute shock when I read about the existence of more than the Apple Giving and Apple Eating genders.

How did I come about this knowledge? 

The other day I was reading  stuff I probably had no business reading about and I stumbled across this information.

So basically, some people wake up and depending on how they feel, they decide if they are a she, a he, a they, a them etc...

I told you it’s a confusing something, didn’t I?

Some even go as far as Caithlyn Jenner-ing... (this one is story for another day)

While I do not understand it, I do not judge their/them's/she’s/his'/her’s decisions.

Anyway, according to abc news, ''Facebook introduced dozens of options for users to identify their gender… and although the social media giant said it would not be releasing a comprehensive list, ABC News has found at least 58 so far''

Hmmmm Orisirisi...

The following are the 58 gender options identified by ABC News:

·         Agender

·         Androgyne

·         Androgynous

·         Bigender

·         Cis

·         Cisgender

·         Cis Female

·         Cis Male

·         Cis Man

·         Cis Woman

·         Cisgender Female

·         Cisgender Male

·         Cisgender Man

·         Cisgender Woman

·         Female to Male

·         FTM

·         Gender Fluid

·         Gender Nonconforming

·         Gender Questioning

·         Gender Variant

·         Genderqueer

·         Intersex

·         Male to Female

·         MTF

·         Neither

·         Neutrois

·         Non-binary

·         Other

·         Pangender

·         Trans

·         Trans*

·         Trans Female

·         Trans* Female

·         Trans Male

·         Trans* Male

·         Trans Man

·         Trans* Man

·         Trans Person

·         Trans* Person

·         Trans Woman

·         Trans* Woman

·         Transfeminine

·         Transgender

·         Transgender Female

·         Transgender Male

·         Transgender Man

·         Transgender Person

·         Transgender Woman

·         Transmasculine

·         Transsexual

·         Transsexual Female

·         Transsexual Male

·         Transsexual Man

·         Transsexual Person

·         Transsexual Woman

·         Two-Spirit

So, there you have it, the 58 genders according to oyibo people…

Do with this information what you want, you asked for it and because I am good peoples, I have delivered.

As you were.

😇

Dear People of My Gender...

Dear beautiful people of my gender 

You know I love you

You know I will always fight for you

You know I will always have your back

You know if you need a hype woman, I am always there

You know I am your guy for always…

But please I have a question to ask...

Come close.

A little closer..

Ehen, now you are close enough, the question is…

Why do WE do this?!

So now that 'they' are calling it abuse, I want us to critically look into the science of why women almost always eat out of their significant others' plates when they have their own plate(s) of food that they saw, liked, decided on and ordered for!

I want us to break down the biology/genetics/science, whatever it is that is behind this behavior that people of my wonderfully and fearfully made gender just love engaging in, this action which I happen to be very guilty of also.

The decision to make a post on this came up when I caught myself agreeing with @lily in the above picture. Yes, social distancing and covid prevention and all but with such measures, just how are we supposed to eat out of their plates?

Ehen, we all know it takes the average woman at least 20 minutes of back and forth to decide on what she wants to eat (do not ask me where I got the statistics from, just go with the flow).

As we were….

Let’s take it all the way back to even deciding where we want to eat... how come we know where we do NOT want to eat but cannot decide on where we want to eat?

See ehn, my gender can do some very confusing things that leave me thinking Weldon to us…

Now, back to the science we are trying for figure out, please if you are of my gender and you know you are guilty of this, come and tell us why you do it. I have asked myself this question and obviously, I have come up with no explanation, so I have decided to ask my people.  

Please tell me why, if you know. 

I guess it just gives us joy!

I promise you guys of the other 57 genders reading this, it is not done intentionally to annoy you, it is something that just happens (in my own case anyways). 

So I guess in conclusion, as world people would say, e be things... make una no vex. 

Thank you for coming to my Ted 

Be good.

Ps:   Happy Birthday to my darling Beebah, please keep my cake!

pss: Happy Birthday to Mummy Pretty, Omofeba, send my love and kisses to Mommy.

Psss: Covid is not over oh! Stay safe!

The Need To Unplug...

I'd been feeling the need to unplug from social media for sometime; this is mostly because I realized how much money I have been dashing Airtel...among other things. 

But recently, from reading about the different rape cases in the world, the killings in Southern KD, Zamfara & Katsina, gangster locusts in India, the killings and  murder hornets in the ‘Merica, return of Ebola in the Congo, more about the 'rona and so many unpleasant things happening around the world, I knew it was time...

I especially knew it was time to unplug from social media at least for a while seeing as all the raw emotions by people who are hurt, concerned and afraid began to get to me.

I was truly beginning to feel sad, that I began to internalize this sadness and I began to think of all the stuff that aren’t going ‘right’ in my life right now. My mental health was getting messed up! 

Ehn, ehn, I was not going mad oh! I know my dear Naija people do not like talking about mental health. Small thing, we will say it is craze that is doing her.

So yes, I did save a lot of data money but most importantly, I gave my mind some rest. And my mind rested for a couple of days…

I unplugged from Instagram, Twitter, I wasn't uploading/viewing Whatsapp statuses' and even chatting much generally…and boy, was it hard to do... but I knew the 'could be' empath in me really needed this so I kept going. 

The first day was hard, it felt like something wasn’t right, the desire to get off social media for my mental health was just as strong as my desire to keep up with  social media gist/gossip the news. I caught myself picking up my phone to go to the 'gram and the bird app (aka twitter) so many times, but I was determined to go with my plan so I fought myself hard and as time went by, it felt ok.

So…yes, it is ok to take a break from the internet or whatever may be clouding your head. There are so many things you can do to ‘reclaim’ your time from all the fuzziness. Watch a movie, listen to music, call and gossip gist with a friend, group call with family/friends, read a novel, study the bible, take a walk, exercise, go hiking, just do not let anyone or anything you did not send come for you and get you.

I studied my Bible a little more than usual and I watched a lot of stuff on Netflix *wait, that means I ended up not saving money on data, right*

Face palm...

But I would honestly say it was a good thing and I was happy for the whole three veeeeery long days I unplugged. It felt like my brain was taking in fresh air and stuff I watched were happy stuff...especially the series 'Sweet Magnolias'... it warmed my heart and reminded me of what true friendship should be about, it made me miss my friends and wished my best ones were closer and our bond was stronger... It reminded me of how blessed I am to have my friends.

So yeah, nothing serious here, just to encourage us all that sometimes, it is ok to take a step back and let time clear the dark clouds and.... just be happy. 

I love you for reading, come again.

xoxo  

PS

Gincheng, thank you.

We Are Tired!!!

We are tired!

I am tired!

Tired of hearing that another girl has been raped. 

Tired of hearing that another woman has been raped.

Tired of hearing that a baby has been raped.

Tired of hearing how women are blamed for being raped.

I join my dear Ozi to ask, ''how much louder do women have to cry before they are heard? This is one too many.''

How many times do we have to cry and condemn these acts?!

Just how many times?

Please let us know because we are ready to do it. 

We are ready to do whatever it takes to protect ourselves, our daughters, our sisters, our nieces, our friends and even our mothers from these monsters. 

I was going to make the title of this post ''Please Stop'' but no, We are tired! 

We are tired of being blamed for the actions of sick men who do not have any regard or respect for the body of the woman.

We are tired of the sick rape apologists who justify why a woman is raped.

We are tired of boys ''just being boys''.....whatever the heck that means!!!

I will not bother with the definition of rape today because I believe we all know what it means and if you or someone you know doesn't, please find out, educate a person or 2 while at it, thank you...

So I will just go ahead and say NO! 

NO means No!!! 

NO, no one has a right to my body just because he feels like it.

NO, the length of my skirt doesn't give you the right also.

NO, do not tell me what to wear, tell them, teach them not to rape. 

We have to understand that ''there is no amount of morals you can teach the girl child that will stop rape if we do not teach the boy child that he does not have the right to anyone's body''. 

So please, enough with the.... 

''what was she wearing?''

''why was she walking alone?'' 

''why did she go to his house?'' 

''how can she say she was raped, is he not her husband/fiance/boyfriend?"

People, please!!!!

Uwa was raped in a church!

In. A. Church!!!

Are we going to ask Uwa why she was in church? Would anyone have a ''good reason'' why this happened?

Yes, I know that not only females have been/are being raped. I know boys have had to suffer this also so I'll say teach ''DONT RAPE'', not ''DONT GET RAPED'. 

''Stop raping our girls, stop raping our boys! 

It is not enough to say you're not a rapist, you have to be anti rapist!

NO MEANS NO''

I will end this by saying may the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of every rapist and rape apologist! 

May they never know peace the rest of their lives!

May they know pain like their victims did!

I am sorry, but I am so angry and pained from all I have read! 

We just want to wash our hands, shako for the 'Rona and not feel unsafe while at it because some idiots think the length of my skirt, the obvious curve of my hips give him the right to my body!

Fathers, brothers, uncles, unkuuuls, nephews...the society, do better! 

Let us teach about, talk about, protect ours and everyone from rapists!

For Uwa and everyone who has been raped. 

Love and Light.

HELLO THERE!

 

Holla good peoples!...So this feels like day 11782 since the world as we know it went on hold...and we all got locked in/ locked down...

Apart from being veeeeeerrrrryyyyyy bored every now and then, looking more homeless daily, and a pair of raccoon tail looking eyebrows, all has been well with me.

All has been well, till today that is...because today, I woke up hit by malaria. I don’t even need to get tested, I just know it is malaria...You know I have a way of always accurately self-diagnosing malaria, right?

No? Please read about it...HERE

So once again, today I am super sure I have been attacked by some vicious ‘squitoes because why else will I dream of hanging out with CNN Don Lemon? 

Yup, the very one.

Ehen, you are beginning to see it too right? Not either of the Cuomo brothers oh, but Don Lemon.

See how he is looking at me like ''huh?''

So it is either malaria or my level of needing amebo at this point has gone so high that I am looking for gist in my dreams, therefore I vote malaria. 

 

So in the dream, we were hanging out at a party and there was zero social distancing involved, we were turnt up!  then the party somehow turned out to be a Christmas party and I got presents! Yup, that’s the best part of the party which also turned out to be the worst part of the dream as the disappointment hit hard when I woke up and there were zero presents for me.

*wipes lone tear*

 

 

 

Yes, I know. I’ll go get tested and while I hope the results come out negative for malaria parasites, I am almost certain it will be positive. 

How do I know? 

Well, remember the dream in which I was baby sitting Blue Ivy? The malaria was ++. 

So I know.

Anyways, how has it been with you in these days of the ‘rona?

Hope you’re doing good and taking responsibility for your health and others' by doing the right thing?

I have spent most of my days sleeping, eating, Netflix-ing, reading and I discovered that I may actually love to cook (whowoulddathought?!). I have been checking out some fun recipes and trying them out…

Now we wait for what the scale will have to say when the day comes that I decide to check my weight.

Now that we are ‘open’ and allowed to go out, please remember it is not the time for visitations and hanging out with dem peoples. If you have nothing serious/important to do, please stay at home.

I know a few people who have turned their stomachs to garlic and ginger reservoirs. Please be careful with the WhatsApp broadcast ''Doctors'' with their super concoctions.  

I don’t want to hear how someone’s stomach exploded while trying to avoid the ‘rona.

Do not be like my friend MM, who has been going for yawo (and as the good somebody that I am, I kept warning her but did she hear?). She is now calling me to say she thinks she is sick and wants to do the Madagascar concoction. 

I know we have all heard this a gazillion times but please wash your hands, avoid touching your face (I still battle with this one, I wont even lie) maintain the social distancing protocol and stay masked up in public...

 

Let's also follow the guidelines of the NCDC and please educate/inform someone about the Covid 19. Because ehn, I have seen all kinds of masks and different ways of wearing them, I’ve seen soo many people who just cover their mouths and leave their noses exposed and it leaves me very very very confused. So, while I get myself ready for the malaria test.

Be good and stay safe.

Pssst Yellow, cheer up! 

 

 

All Up In My Feelings...

I am so emooosh right now....
I have been preparing myself for the festive season and I have been binge watching holiday themed romantic comedies.
These movies are getting me all up in my feelings mhen.

So yeah, I am a sucker for Christmas/New Year themed RomComs. I am not sure why though, maybe it is seeing the snow and my inner man is asking "God when?"
*wipes lone tear*
*sniff sniff*

 hard guy, hard guy but small eye contact and film smile be getting me all teary...

So far, I have watched:
New Year's Eve
The Knight Before Christmas 
Love Actually
Let It Snow
This Christmas
Dear Santa

Did I mention that Christmas came early?
*wide grin*
Yup, I got chocolates in the office today *yay*

Me and my chocolate
Photo Cred: 'Steeeee!

So tonight, I am gonna be Netflix and chilling with my chocolate beside me (please, please please, it is diet cheat day) and I will be watching Christmas In the Wild...

I need recommendations on Christmas themed RomComs, please. So share your faves with me to watch and continue tension-ing myself...

I wish us all a happy happy happy almost Christmas!
And it is my sweet Miss Carla's 2nd  birthday today, so it is an extra special day...😊

Happy Birthday baby, I wish you the most amazing special day ever!

xoxo

LIFE AS VIRA MVP!

Holla, Dudes and Dudetts!

So I was just going through the blog (thinking and wondering what is wrong with me? what has made me so lazy?) and then I decided to check on my posts' stats and I saw that this post has the highest number with 2292 views! 
DrumRoll, please.... 
So our MVP Post is....

Do Mermaids really exist?

I really wonder how come it is the most viewed post I have put up.

Are you as curious as I am?

Well, you can read it HERE or https://lifeasvira.blogspot.com/2014/08/do-mermaids-really-exist.html

Please just click on the link and it will take you to the post.

Thank you!!!

GirlForce: Unscripted and Unstoppable

"We need to uphold the equal rights, voices and influence of girls in our families, communities and nations. Girls can be powerful agents of change, and nothing should keep them from participating fully in all areas of life." — UN Secretary-General António Guterres

To our baby girls,
To our sisters,
To our nieces,
October 11th; International Day of the Girl Child. 
A day set aside to celebrate the achievements of girls and the milestones achieved by them.

Yes, the Girl Force is Unscripted and Unstoppable... because we are risen, we are a force and we now have a voice! A loud voice, even if not loud, still a voice. 
Even if not everyone listens, they hear us. 
Unstoppable. 
Unscripted. 
Our daughters will be trailblazers, they will do better than we are doing now and that gives me joy.

As an Auntie, a godmother and a Momma of two beautiful girls, I am glad that my Princesses can and will shatter the glass ceiling if they choose to. I am glad that they can stand up, speak out to protect their gender. I am glad that they can and will fight for themselves and other girls like them. I am glad that they have the opportunity to be great because they CAN and because they WANT to!

Having said this, I know that a lot more needs to be done for the girl child to amplify her voice, to help her break barriers and achieve even greater milestones in life.

We need to increase awareness of gender inequality, we need to help get a girl in school, we need to teach our girls that 'NO' means NO. 
Let us teach our girls to understand that we have rights, we are strong and can achieve whatever they set their minds to achieve in life.

Lets all come together to build up the Girl Child because the future is female. 
Speak for the #GirlChild who does not have a voice. 
Stand up for the #GirlChild who cannot stand up for her self. 
Point the #GirlChild to the right direction. 
Fight for the #GirlChild.
Love the #GirlChild
Do not stop the her!

To the girl child,
I raise a glass for you.
I applaud you. 
I stand for you.
I stand by you.
I stand with you.
I am you! 
October 11th!

A Case Of The Bridezilla!

bridezilla

/brʌɪdˈzɪlə/

`

A woman whose behavior in planning the details of her wedding is regarded as obsessive or intolerable... Oxford Dictionary 

Now that you know who a bridezilla is, let me gist you about one that I read about. See ehn, this woman definitely has to be the queen of all bridezillas. 

So, here goes the gist, this bride told her friend to have an abortion so that her wedding will go smoothly!

Yup, you read that right.
She actually told her friend, her human friend, a married human friend who was pregnant with a human baby, a friend whom she is was close enough to ask to be on her bridal train oh, to have an abortion so that her dress will fit right!!

kwaaaaat!

Whaaaaat?!
Who does that, you ask?
I am still in WTF mode, honestly!
This lady has to be the chief of all bridezillas. I don't think anyone can beat her in this, at all!
And someone called me a bridezilla?!
Haaaa!!!

So.....this gist made me realize that I was really a chill bride oh.
I am sure my friends can attest to this fact; if you are my friend and you disagree with the above statement, kindly hold your peace and remain silent biko.
Thank you.

My dear friends, be thankful I didn't go all bridezilla on y'all!
To the one that even called me a bridezilla, I forgive you...
Yes, I am that nice but I am waiting for the apology sha.

Have I mentioned I was the most chill bride I know? 😎
The truth is I will not even take half the credit for how awesome my wedding ceremony turned out as my friends handled it all while I nicely crossed my legs and asked Dem Girls to carry on as i cannot come and kill myself biko...

Honestly, my besties made my whole wedding planning process smooth.
And like I said, I was barely involved.  From choosing or sharing of asoebi, I did not even speak to the makeup artist till a day to the wedding as one of my girls had that on lock down. The food and drinks nko, they had everything covered!

To all my amazing friends who came through, who went over and beyond for me, I am sorry this is coming so long after the wedding.
May God Bless you guys is all I can say *wipes lone tear*.

To those friends who we aren't as chummy, thank you for the great times, for the help and support.
To those friends who stay waxing, shine bright darlings!
To those in my holy of hollies, stay there!
My darling Millish, promise kept. 

My people, please share any bridezilla stories you have, let's see if anyone can beat this queen.  

Once again, thank you for stopping by the blog.

xoxo

Shout Out!

It is my guy's birthday today!

Our very own low budget Kim K!!

Whoop whoop!!!

We gon party hard today, y'all!!!!

Happy birthday darling. 

I love you long time.

May God bless you big. 

May the lines continue to fall for you in pleasant places, dear.

You are so fabulous that I'd imagine you pee glitter, fart rainbows and shit cupcakes!

Happy Birthday, to the Ikulu gangster!  

Here's to an even more fabulous  year ahead.

On 'The Systemic Whorification Of The Young African Woman'.

Sometime ago, I came across 'The Systemic Whorification Of The Young African Woman' written by  Brigitte Sesu Tilley-Gyado on HUFFPOST and it stuck with me for a while; trust me when I say I was not surprised at anything Ms Brigitte wrote. I am sure at least one person reading this has experienced such mumu-ness somewhere.

Are you wondering what this 'systemic whorifiction...' means? Well, Miss Brigitte says 'Whorified': ...is to say sexualized and excluded based on my gender and youth...' errrm...or non-youth as the age case may be.

As a young-ish African woman, I have experienced such mumu-ish behaviours that have left me angry and unamused several times. Though I have not been refused entry into any establishment by the virtue of being a woman, I understand how annoying that could be. 

This happened to me: True story, I telI you. So on this fateful day, while driving out of a restaurant, I opened MY bag, brought out money and gave to the security guy...this individual looks past me to the Hubster and says "thank you, sir. God bless you sir"

                                             

I was looked at him like whaaaaaat!!!! Didn't this onkuul just see me bring out money from MY bag to give to him? Why is the Hubster taking the thanks and the blessing, bikonu?

So, basically....because I am the woman here, I 'must' have collected the money from the man to put in my bag, right? It doesn't matter that I gave the money to this individual oh, all he 'knows' is that 'oga' must have given me the money that I gave to him. Anyways, good for me. Who send me message, right?

See, the thing is that he most likely didn't mean to offend me, it is what he knows. It is what the society has taught him. That a woman, without a man is nothing and has nothing; so he didn't think it is possible for me, a woman, to have and give him My money. 

Sadly, it is true that "...Young women are the overwhelming majority of sexualized images in the media, fashion, music and porn industries. Yet where are the celebrated young African women inventors, business and national leaders of history in the media? Nowhere. According to the mainstream media, the non-sexualized autonomously successful young African woman does not exist."       

Now, while Miss Brigitte mentioned a number of reputable African women who are role models and have achieved great feats but are barely celebrated, I want to bring it down to the 'ordinary' Young African, Nigerian women whom we meet and interact with on daily basis. Women who are doing well all by themselves and not by the help of 'A Man', any man....I know them, they are my friends, they have and run their businesses all by themselves (of course with God's help and guidance). 

These women are my friends. They are my sisters. they are Me!  Women who are great mothers  (Berry, Madam J, Inzei, Mz Dalli, Anty Emm, Ishar, MM), thriving entrepreneurs (Meow, Tk, Millish, TonTon, Modesty_Inc. ) beautiful fashion designers (lytani stitches, ThreadsByKwete, FabFabrix, T Diamonds), event Planners (M&U Events), awesome Nurses (Inzie), amazing Architects (Ms Ghaj) , brilliant Doctors (My Naffy, RayBear) bankers (Kuch Kuch, Miriam, Meow), incredible bakers (Ozi cakes, Dee_nas cakes), dedicated teachers (LizzD) outstanding civil and public servants , women working for  great causes etc...etc...etc.

Now, tell me why any of these amazing women would not be allowed into any establishment to do whatever they want to do just because they are not glued to the arm of any man? Why does the society insist on 'whorifying' us just because we are women?

Wait, what if they haven't even achieved any of these yet? So what? why would you tell me I cannot go into a public business place because I am a woman and because I came alone? Haba jama'a! This thing is paining me. 

I can never understand it and I do not plan to understand it but I do hope that someone listens to Ms Brigitte because I totally agree with her that "...the African man too must shift his paradigms, attitudes and perceptions and join in this struggle for empowerment and equality. He owes this to his daughters, his sisters, his wife, and his mother who for half of their lives would be young African women. The young African woman is the future mother of all Africans, and her Whorification is the Whorification of the values and self-esteem all Africans by extension..."

I have super women all around me that I am proud of each and everyone of them...I will continue to be proud of them. 

No, this is not about feminism, this is just to say that this kind of thing is paining me. Like I said earlier, I am sure that you have been 'whorified' in one way or the other...Please share with me. I cannot be vexing alone, maybe some of your experiences might even make me laugh. 

xoxo