Xtra! Xtra! Read All About It!!!!

Hey People! 

It is me, Vira, remember me?

Please say you do! 

I know. I know we have talked about this disappearance act. 

I have tried to reply all the emails I got and I will do better. 

I promise....

Thank you all for putting up with me and visiting this page even when I have nothing up.

Thank you!

So...Your girl was in The Abroad and I brought gist...

The place is actually full of normal people...whowuddathought?! (wait. maybe i was in the the wrong places?) 

I did not see anyone making out or doing 'things' on the streets and I was looking out for it...*sigh*

They weren’t all semi naked walking around despite the fact that it was summer (all these film people be deceiving somebody) and nope, not everyone was fit, trim, tall, all model like with flat tummies, flipping long hair and prancing around...

time to stop being deceived by movies, Kim K and friends.

It wasn’t  cheap!!!!!

Especially for my Nigerian self with the current exchange rate. 

Every time we had to pay for anything, I'd convert the cost to naira, and my heart would ache. 

Everytime! 

Now, before I go on, I will like to ask; have I ever publicly declared myself a cheap skate?

No?

Ok, this is my official declaration that I am indeed a cheapskate. #NoShame.

Now imagine a self-declared cheapskate being charged $18 for an uber ride. 

The thing is this, the $18 did not pain me but when I got a debit alert of N4,680 from my bank, I passed out a little!

                                  

Four thousand six hundred and eighty naira!  That is three hundred and twenty naira short of transport fare to Adamawa state from Abuja oh! *mogbe* 🙆

At this point, I advised myself to stop with the naira to dollar conversion. I would not have survived to tell this story if I had continued that behavior. 

                              

I visited a lot of cool places across 5 cities and I loved every bit of it. The Willis tower is definitely one place that I loved and I am glad I got to visit. We were on the Sky Deck on the 103rd floor. Yup, 103! 

It was breathtaking, I was all awww and uuuhhh till it was our turn to step on the deck and the lady looked at me and said “everyone gets 1 minuet for a picture” 

Ha! 1 minute pere!?!

After following a queue for 2 hours to get to that point, feeling like I trekked from Okija to Ikom?  

Nope, not gonna work, the African in me was definitely going on ‘African time’ mode. And I am proud to let you know I took some extra seconds to get more photos...one minute fa, if I hear!

All in all, it was really cool and I’m glad I got to visit...legend even has it that Bro Barrack proposed to Sis MichMich in that building...(research for yourself before you start spreading gist from me please).

I was tempted to do one of these crazy poses for the 'Gram but who knows when village people will decide to come and break glass? 

Moving on....

This is a PSA!!!

Not everything in the Dollar store actually goes for a dollar!!!

I fell for that one.  *wipes lone tear*

Imagine my cheap self  happily prancing into the $ shop in my queen of cheap shopping state of mind...*wipes lone tear*

I was even thinking to myself 'we die here today'...

Imagine the betrayal when the first item I saw did not in fact cost $1.

Who did not live to be a $ store queen 😰

  

Was I in the wrong shop? I looked around and I was indeed in the $ shop. Ha! So whattapun?

Is this how Nigerian politicians learnt to deceive people? Only true cheap skates would understand my predicament...

It hurts till this day and I have not stopped asking....

WHY?!

Moving on...

Those Chinese nail technician portrayals in movies,...not lies!

Not a single one.

Totally accurate...them no send person at all.

They kept chirping in their language and even giving me instructions in the language!

And I could totally tell that the little old lady was gossiping about me. Don’t ask me how, I just do....

I was even thinking of....... Doing Nothing!

I respected myself and kept quiet before one of them would hadouken me back to Naija before my time. 

 The act of the Hadouken...
now you get it.

Oh, next time you see me forming for Keke, remind me that I was in one of these and it was cool. I actually liked it, it had music, the guy was nice and decided to appoint himself our tour guide sabi sabi somebody. He was quite friendly but i think he jobbed us small by the end of the trip. He seemed too happy and even offered to snap photos of us...are you thinking what I am thinking?

Not the actual one we rode in, I have never seen this guy in my life.

Self appointed tour guide was not the only overly friendly person. They all seem to be super friendly and smiley and chirpy. Before you know it, pictures of children and grankids are on display...Just like that!

Leaves you wondering where being friendly ends and amebo begins. *sigh*

That was definitely one of the problems I had being a zero friendly person (not proud of it but...)

Exhausted from all the friendliness and trying to figure out if it is amebo or not...

All these aside, it is a beautiful place and everything works! I kept wondering when our Nigeria will get to the point where light will not blink in a day, where the roads will be all good and car exhausts will not have to be changed every time one travels an hour out of Abuja. 

When will we have hospitals that work? 

When will our government feel jealous of all these other countries and decide to replicate what they see when they travel to the abroad? 

You see that Murtala Mohammed airport that we think is cool? Lol, my friend said “ai it is like motor park for them” ; she speaks the truth.

My people, have you ever been to Yola International airport? 

*Wipes hardcore lone tear*…

Lets' end the matter.

I know the onus is not strictly on the government because we sef get our own. How will the environment be neat and beautiful when we stay throwing bawon gyada from moving cars? When we will not drink pure water and dispose the sachet properly?

We need to do better please, we need to someday celebrate our country with real joy in our hearts, with pride and true patriotism because we are indeed happy to be Nigerians. So we will not be using side eye to be looking in awe and marveling at the beauty of the obodo oyibo like I did.

Oh, Happy 58^th to Nigeria, we will get there some day.