Saturday, 31 December 2022
Life As Vira… The Real Vira.
Friday, 23 September 2022
Wetin I go find for Sokoto… My Visit To New York City.
Hey peoples!
You’re probably wondering what I am on about today again abi?
Well, if you are familiar with this saying, you already know how it ends…
‘Wetin I go find for Sokoto dey for my sokoto’….
So I visited the Big Apple.
With a mission.
I was prepared for this trip, I planned for weeks, I was super excited to get there and be a New Yorker and all of that. But my main reason for going to New York City was something I so much looked forward to, I could not wait. I even bought a selfie stick so I do not miss a moment of it.
You’re wondering what it is, right?
Well, I was given the opportunity to choose where I wanted to spend Christmas and I chose NYC, because, well… it is New York City #duh, secondly, I really wanted to see/feel/experience snow. Yes, this Naija girl had not seen snow before so I thought, why not and where best?
That is how local girl was flown to New York City.
Hmmmm the cold that grabbed me the minute we landed, I endured because I am in New York City na and I will see snow, abi? And the colder it gets, the more chances that it will snow, abi? Also, the thought of snapping photos in the snow, doing the whole snow angel ish fueled me.
This was going to be me in all the plenty snow I was looking forward to. |
I was prepared, the weather app was my best friend, it forecasted snow from the day after my arrival, all was good with me, I could not wait.
My brothers and sisters, dudes and dudettes, ladies and gentlemen, that is how I spent 7 good days in New York, one tiny flake of snow like this, my eyes did not see. My fingers and toes, I could barely feel because the cold, the cold, the cold!!!! *wipes lone tear*
That is how vacation was over, I carried myself back to my small town and a few days later, guess what? It snowed!
Yup, it snowed here, where I was told it had not snowed in about 4 years… ehn, it was not much, it was like two Naira snow that basically melted before it touched the ground but it did snow!
Ah, come and see how local girl ran out to enjoy the snow… I did not care if anyone was looking at me, I made sure I enjoyed the moment. I was happy, I saw it, I felt it, I let it fall in my mouth… I was a happy somebody y’all!
This was me… with way less snow. 😒 |
Well, well, apart from the snow disappointment (which was major) the visit was cool, I visited really cool places and I had fun. As a true fan of the tv show Friends, I had to go to Central Park… it is huge but I did not stay long as it was super cold. I visited Madam Tussaud (where I had a nice conversation with Thor and he told me I was worthy of Mjolnir, I may or may not be lying about this). I also visited the famous Times Square, Rockefeller center, China town, Broadway, Radio music hall, Fifth avenue and Carlos Barkery!
There were other places I wanted to visit but at some point, going out felt like punishment as the temperature was in the minuses so I advised myself accordingly. It was a fun visit altogether though I was snow heartbroken.
Now, would I want to go back anytime soon? Hmmm no, I do not think so. Why, you ask? That city is basically a bigger Lagos with better light and nicer cars and taller buildings (ok, ok, maybe a whole lot nicer than Lagos but you get the point) There was always crazy traffic, trash on the road sides, people everywhere, roadside food vendors, cars honking, cab guys driving like mad folk and cussing at each other… kilode?! And I was even in Manhattan which is supposed to be the Lekki of NYC. Nah, I like my sanity please, plus the city did not keep to its promise of snow (yes, it is still paining me).
So… that is it about my visit to NYC, I will be back with gist of my visit to Las Vegas *does the sign of the cross*
XOXO
Wednesday, 14 September 2022
Xtra! Xtra!!
Read all about it!
Holla peoples! It’s been ages, right? I do not know what happened to me but these past months, it feels like my fingers just refused to cooperate with the keypad even though I’ve been gisting y’all in my head.
As always, I say a big thank you to all those who checked on me and kept visiting the blog even when I do not put anything up.
So… this post really doesn’t have a bearing, I just want to gist you general gist about this place that I live and all the kinds of things my eyes have seen in this Biden’s America. I’ll tell y’all what has stood out, surprised or vexed me in the past year I’ve been here.
You ready? Ok, let’s gist…
I found out there are no public transportation in this town! Yes, it is a small town but not that small. Even small keke they don’t have. I keep wondering how people without cars manage, though I see some walking around and i really wonder how they manage it all together. This is a town with a population of 37,000 people! You get my concern now, right? Maybe i should buy small keke or start doing ‘along’ self.
Moving along, the road rules here include the fact that one can make a right turn even if the light is red. Just be sure it’s safe to do so. A person must change their ‘vehicle registration plate’ aka number plate and their driver’s license within 60 days of moving to a new state. Oh, people who ride motorbikes have same rights to the roads, so you’ll never see a bike by the side of any car waiting, they will take up space on the lane and be feeling cool….
Just like this uncle that just stood in my very before…
I’m not sure why I’m beefing sef. 🙈
Ah, the summer here ehn, the summer is bloody! It be summering like say na fight.
At some point, it was as hot as Yola with 37 degrees! Yeah, you read that right. It was crazy but it’s getting so much better now.
Oh, have I mentioned that they love their okra? After the okra in the drink, I got some in my salad and I can’t stop wondering why? Why? Why?
Sunday, 6 March 2022
Maybe ''We Should All Be...”
Why should a woman always have to prove her worth despite having same qualifications as her male counterparts?
Why should I be paid less for doing the same job as a man just because I am female? (they don’t want us to chill with the big boys, abi?)
Why should I be denied the right to make decisions for myself, my future just because I am female?
Why should every bad driver be ''na woman na, no wonder" as if having a…..errrrm you know…is a major requirement for changing gears.
If standing for my self and other women makes me a feminist, then I shall wear my badge with pride!
And all this doesnt mean I would disrespect the males in my life but I will always stand up for what I believe in and for what is right for me.
Please respect me in all my femaleness...
So please, stop depicting doom on feminists and feminism and see it for what it is; the struggle that will help your wives, daughters, sisters to reach their full potential in whatever sphere they choose to shine in life…
Last last, like Chimamanda said, “I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femaleness and my femininity. And I want to be respected in all of my femaleness because I deserve to be.”
Sunday, 20 February 2022
EVER BEEN SERVED?
It was Valentine’s day just a few days ago and I was a happy somebody.
Happy because I am a sucker for love, I love love…So much so that I have appointed myself the president of the Awwww Association.
Which meant on Val’s day, I was on duty, busy roaming the streets of the ‘gram, surfing my contacts’ WhatsApp status’ and I even found my way to the bird app in search for awww moments for which I awww-ed and awwwww-ed and smiled and was happy for the Val-ed.
But you know how this life is now, I also came across some servings of breakfast (if you don’t gerrit, forget abourrit) Some were hot and some were cold, coooold, which made me quite unhappy but I am hopeful for all those who were served; hopefully by next year, I will awwwwn with them (if you’re on this table, say amen!) as heartbreak isn’t cool at all and I’m sure we you all know a thing or two about this. (Wanna share?).
Back to love… love is a beautiful thing and good relationships are amazing and break-ups? They suck, which ever way they are served suck!
But I want to talk about a different kind of break-up today.
I want to talk about friendship break-ups.
Do like this ✋if you’ve been served this special kind of breakfast.
I am doing like this ✋with my full chest as it has happened to me.
Not once.
(Wipes lone tear)
Have you ever woken up one day and realize that, you have become strangers with your person? The one person whom you have shared laughs, secrets, cried together with, to and for? The one person who was your gist partner, who would go all FBI and gangster on any one who tried to mess with you, your gossip partner, the one whom you’ve shared so many meals with.
Like I said earlier, it has happened to me…
Not once…
(Wipes lone tear…again)
…and it hurt. It hurt because I don’t make friends as easily as others, so I hold my friends dear; my girls know this. Now, if you make it to my holy of holies (HOH)…sigh! Imagine a senior member of the HOH ghosting and becoming a stranger… ko da now!
I see all these quotes about how if you lose a friend, they were never your friend to begin with; I don’t agree because the good times were good, it was real and it was good and it was amazing and we had loads of fun; so I would rather believe that ‘some people are in your life for a time or purpose’ and when that is fulfilled, they move…you move (just like that 💃… see what i did there?)
Some broken friendships are fixed, broken up friends make up and are able to work through whatever issues they had (psssst Omofeba), some are back-ish but not where they used to be; some are just dead and gone and there is just no going back; which is also ok. So whatever level you are now, maybe accept it as it is, apologize if you are wrong, find out if maybe you did wrong and don’t even know it… that’s what I did; for closure: I guess. And I am glad I did, I am happy where we are. I am happy with the friends I have now and it is what it is!
So do you, if you want, how you want…
xoxo
PS. If you are reading this, I want you to know that I’ll always be here if you need me.
PSS.. I know I am cool like that.
Sunday, 12 December 2021
E tu… (You too?)
Hey peoples…
Y’all know how everyone’s father/mother was so brilliant and always took the first position in class?
That’s what comes to mind seeing/reading/hearing everyone come for bullies lately.
So we were all good, juniors loving, never punished, never wicked seniors back in school?
Everyone is suddenly speaking out against bullies and bad guys; which is a good thing but I’m here wondering…
So who was the bad senior back then? Who was the wicked senior back then?
We’re now all saints abi? Who was the senior that sent an eleven year old me to fetch charcoal in an iron? Yes, hot red coal from the fire place, with whatever I could mange to.
Who was the senior that took us to green house to give us the punishment of our lives just because…?
I remember who it was, I remember them…
Or was it my own classmate back in JSS 1 hounding me and making fun of me for wearing glasses and calling me kashin kifi (fish bone) because I was a lanky 11 year old? She did this every time she saw me especially when we went to fetch water… mostly because I could not carry my own bucket and to her, i was just a glasses wearing ajebota from Lagos and so I deserved to be laughed at…
I remember her.
I remember her name.
So I’m sure that other juniors remember you too if you ever bullied them… abi this one that happened to me wasn’t bullying?
So before we become all sanctimonious and call out others, take a moment to think about your own deeds… were you that senior?
If there was social media in your time, would you have trended for being that Senior?
I know for sure I wouldn’t have been...
I pray for little Sylvester and I pray for his family. I hope those boys get caught and brought to book.
And if this post hit a nerve, I hope you are gracious enough to apologize to those whom you bullied and if you still are a bully, (because it doesn’t end in school) I hope you repent because it doesn’t do you or anyone any good; it only causes pain and sorrow and in this case, death.
Let’s do better, lets teach ours better.
xo
Friday, 3 December 2021
My First Thanksgiving…
Hey peoples,
I told you about my first Halloween here right? Well, I think it is only fair to tell you about my first Thanksgiving day here as well..
So, it was Thanksgiving day on Thursday and I enjoyed every bit of it. Basically, Thanksgiving day is a national holiday in the US and it occurs on the 4th Thursday of November every year. It is an old tradition dating back to 1621; it is a day Americans gather for a day of feasting and well… giving thanks.
But ehn I was just looking all around and wondering how this is thanksgiving day… and not a single gele was in sight?
Ha! I laugh in Family Worship Center Multicolored Geles of all shapes and sizes.
Friday, 19 November 2021
My First Halloween
Hey peoples! As you all know, It was Halloween a couple of weeks ago.
I must say folk here sure do take their Halloween seriously! There were all kinds of spooky decor in the shops, people decorated their houses and cars. And to my Nigerian self, I would say it was errr…. interesting.
A neighbor 4 houses down actually had what I would say was the best Halloween decor in town. If there were awards for that, I’m sure he’d have taken it home. It was what it should be… ghosts, ghouls, huge spiders and the works. In fact, I have decided to just get an arrow, point it to his house and ‘DITTO’ if he keeps the same energy for Christmas.
Anyways, as the day drew closer, them kids started talking about costumes, I succumbed and asked what/who they wanted to dress as… That’s how Kay said she wants to be a Cop and the Madam Em said she wants to be a Bat.
Hian!
All the Nigerian in me heard was SARS and winch.
Ehn?
In which house?
Please, please, is my Nigerian-ness a joke to these kids?
Anyways, I said mba, no! Nobody is dressing as a bat in this house, we can manage the olopa but I am too Nigerian to agree to the bat costume. I quickly got the bat lady to repeat “I am not a bat in Jesus name” after me. I even considered giving her small anointing oil to drink and wash away such thoughts from her head after which I declared she was going to dress as an Angel.
I wouldn’t have it any other way and being the Angel she truly is, Em agreed (not that she had a choice) and she looked so lovely in her Angel costume on the day of…
The Nigerian Momma in me was pleased… 😊
It was a complete costume set which came with a white dress, a halo, a wand and wings.
Now while I’m not sure what Angels use wands for it looked nice and she was happy to have it… I was in my Momma win mode when this child looked at me, pointed the wand at me and said “mommy I’m going to turn you into a frog”.
Egba mii oh! How did we get here? I knew I should have given her anointing oil to drink the other day. I really should have!
Me thinking of what to do to the child. |
Wednesday, 3 November 2021
To Smile Again…
Six months ago, my world stood still…
My heart; broken into a million pieces…
3rd of May 2021…
An Angel gained his wings…
God called My father home.
Yeah, my last post here was full of excitement and all, little did i know that 3 days later, my world as I knew it would shake.
And it did shake!
Hmmmmmmm!!!! No words can ever describe how it feels so I’ll not talk about it.
Anyways, traditionally, today is the official end of the mourning period.
Yes, my culture says ‘we move’ after 6 months… but how does one really ‘move on’ when there are days it hits soo hard and feels all fresh like I just got the news?
How does one move on when there are days that come with strong urges to hear his voice?
To hear him say ‘that’s my dautar!’ and literally hear the pride and love in his voice?
I wish he was here for me to have a laugh with and laugh at when he’d text ‘SOS, some recharge card please if you can’. I thank God that I was always able to can.
I am glad I did all in my power to make my father happy and proud but i wish he lived longer for me to do more… I had plans to do so much more.
Through all this though, I thank God for the life he lived, for the lessons i learnt from him.
I am glad I am his dautar. I would not change anything or edit a day even if I could.
My father was the MVP of fathers.
My father was good, he really was and I’m not even saying this because he was my father.
He really was a good person.
He showed me how to love.
He thought me bwaraune.
He thought me contentment.
Through him, I understood patience.
He was wise.
He never raised his voice even when he was angry.
He corrected in love.
He loved him a good plate of fish peppersoup and if people were awarded for eating tuwo, we’d have dozens of awards hanging in the house.
My father was very peaceful.
He was the one who would give water to the thirsty, feed the hungry and give the shirt on his back to a stranger; and when we complained that he was doing too much, he’d say ‘my friend, don’t worry, God will provide’ and God provided.
Always!
So somehow through the hurt, the denial, the anger, the grieve, through the rough days wondering when it will get better, we have and I pray we continue to find ways and reasons to smile again because that is what he would want for us…
Keep smiling, James Habba Alson, the Angel who gained his wings though our hearts were not ready.
You are sorely missed, Baba.
❤
Thursday, 29 April 2021
It Is My Birthday!!!
Holla People!
It is my birthday!
I am officially a forty year old!
Hey God!
Where did the time go? How am I forty? Omofeba, come and see oh!
Dear ‘81 Gang members, so we are really 40?
Yekpa!
Well... it is what it is and boi, am I glad... I haven’t really been excited about a birthday in a while but for this one, the big 4.0, I am super excited! I have a lot to be thankful to God for...
I really do.
See ehn, truer words haven’t been spoken since the person that said ‘life begins at 40’ said so. S/he definitely was talking about me because ehn, I can’t even begin to explain how much life has changed in a month. So much has happened, changed, come to be, been given, taken.....in a short time, I am in awe... so much so that I would sometimes ask myself ‘is me be this?’.
Ehen, back to my birthday gist...No gist oh! I am just overwhelmed with God’s love and kindness and grace and mercy and the gift of life and... you get the gist na! And I have also come to the realization that gravity is not my friend... and I have officially come to the age where I can’t care; I cannot come and kill myself, biko.
So everyone, please join me in resting my youthful years to rest as I gallantly step up to ‘Elder’ status. So, pray for me, not just today, but anytime I come to mind.
Raise a cup of whatever you drink for me.
Finally, let me be the first to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE 40 GANG, ONE OF THE WORLD’S FABULOUS AND MOST GORGEOUS INDIVIDUALS - ME!!!
xoxo
Friday, 23 April 2021
Naija Mom Fail?
Did you ever think of the day that you would have a child and ‘payback’ some of the stuff our mothers did to us?
Yes? Correct person!
No? So I am the only weird one?
Me sha, I always looked forward to the day I will tell my child ‘come and put it in my nose’ or ‘come and put it on my head’. Hmmmm my people, me that I have been priding myself as a correct Naija momma, especially since the day my kids madams happily waited for ice cream only to find kpomo in the ice cream bowl.
Oh my! That’s was a very happy day for me, the day I earned major points as a Naija mother. I wish I had a candid photo to show the level of disappointment on their faces when they opened the bowl to get ‘ice cream’.
Tihihihi... but I got a picture of the ‘ice cream’ or should I call it ponm-cream?
😁 |
Toh, I will gist you.
So, there I was, basking in the euphoria of earning Naija momma points with my ice cream bowl of ponmo and this child of mine came to ask where to keep her plate and I said ‘keep it on my head’.
My people, my people that is how she actually, I mean this child actually took 2 steps towards me!
Then she stoped and said ‘huh?’
....ah! I thought to myself that the ancestors must have seen what was about to happen and whispered the gospel to her at that very crucial moment in her life.
Because ehn...?!!
And she actually looked confused when I said ‘Dear child, thank thine ancestors for the save, please.’
You see how I almost lost points? Not just momma points oh, Naija momma points! Kai, it pained me! Now I have to go to my arsenal and pull out all the Naija mom-ness-ability I can pull out and go full on Naija Mama on ‘em kids!
But I have to stop falling my own hands like I did today... that’s how I was shouting
‘who wants chips?
‘I said who wants chips?’
‘Can’t you guys hear me?’
‘I will change my mind oh’
And I was thinking shooo? How can I be trying to feed them and they are just staring at me like this, not saying anything?
Next thing I heard, as I had turned to bless them with the look was ‘Oh, I think she means French fries...right mommy?’
Mogbe! I have do myself... that’s how I just jejely said ‘ehn, French fries, that’s chips na!’
I shall be taking my L on this one sha as I think of ways to put small Naija-ness in ‘em kids.
Please share with me any of the stunts I can pull oh! I must recover my almost lost points.
I refuse to carry a badge of Naija Momma fail, lai lai, it can’t happen!
Pray with me!
xoxo
Wednesday, 10 February 2021
It's MM's Fortieth!
Well, well, well, it is my MMs 40th today and I kaint keep calm about it!
If you know me, then you have an idea how much MM means to me.
She is my go to guy.
My friend friend.
Honorable member of my innermost caucus
Chairlady of my holy of holies.
When she hurts, I hurt.
When she cries, I cry.
When she laughs, I laugh.
When she's happy, I am happy
If she's sad, I ask who I need to jump...
You get the gist...?
In fact, legend has it that when she was in labor to birth her little human, she was shouting my name. I do not understand why oh, but yeah, we tight like that!
Have I mentioned that I am her daughter, Zee's self appointed god mother? Well it is only a befitting position for me as it was my name being screamed when she was coming into the world.
So I met Mairo 13 years ago when we were new buckets at work; everyone kept to themselves most of the time but I had noticed her during inauguration (as i was looking for potential friends na) though for some reason, I thought she was pompous so we couldn't be friends.
Yes oh, just like that, I had tried and judged her in my head (world people behavior, I know).
Then we got posted to the same department and we kindda became friends... but the moment I knew for sure I wanted to be real friends with her was when I realized she may be an asset to me... you see, my dear MM has a pure silver tooth from Mecca, when she smiles, you cant help but notice how radiant she is... anyways, that's how I thought e go good to remove this tooth and sell someday if we get broke and so I finally let her become my friend because you know, asset!
Sense will not kill me. lol
I am blessed to have you in my corner always.
Thank you for praying for me.
Thank you for praying with me.
Thank you for sharing Zee with me.
Thank you for the laughs.
Thank you for being my MM.
And so, as you turn the big 40 today, I wish you the best of the best that life has to offer.
I pray for you today, my friend, my sister, may this special day bestow you with more love and joy than you ever imagine because you deserve the best in life.
Happy Birthday, Mairo, I love you wujiga-wujiga!
So to the rest of the 81 gang, I say go, go, go, go, go, go, go who's next?!
Sunday, 31 January 2021
It Is 'Graves Into Gardens' For Me...
Holla!
Do you sometimes feel like worshipping God just because you know...
He is God?
Like just because...
He Is GOD!!!!
Not asking for anything, just worshipping.
Today was one of 'em days for me and am I glad or am I glad?
So I have decided to share one of my absolute favorite worship songs for today.
Thank me now; or later.
I am just happy to share... because I am good peoples!
source: YouTube
Friday, 22 January 2021
'Tis The Year!
Holla Peoples!
Happy New Year!
Yes, I know it is almost the end of January but it is still a new year, abi?
So, Happy New Year to y'äll, my peoples!
This is the fastest January in a while, abi? Like someone said, this January is not Januar-ing like other Januaries Januaried...
So, how have you all been? Good riddance to 2020 abi? The year that overhype killed, I hope 2020 has helped us to learn not to overhype anything.
I am excited about this year oh, excited because 'tis the year I turn 40!
Yaaaaaaay!
Hold up, did you yay?
Yes, you did? Cool, yay!
You did not yay? Oya, go back and yay before we carry on because it is a yay-ing something please.
So not just that I am turning 40, some of my favorite people are also turning 40 this year which makes it extra special for me as na all of us dey old the old together.
See ehn, just call us the '81 gang! 👍🙌
See Members of the 81 Gang! |
Yes, dear Omofeba, we are 40ing oh!
Kweks, who was pursuing you na?
Saá, I see you had a great one! 👌
MM, you're next.
Cousin TBK, make i show J-town?
'Steeee that venue still looks good oh!
Eni, how e go e for Eko?
Ms. B, where are we going for the photo shoot this year?
Sister Kate, how far? where the gbedu go dey?
Ransi Cika, baby of the Gang, you'll close the year for us in grand style, abi?
Dear Members of the '81 gang, just know that I will be putting up a post on your days and it may not be pretty.
So anyways apart from the birthday announcement, I don't have any gist yet.
However, I wish us all a very very very happy and fulfilling 2021. I pray God comes through for us all but remember, the new year will not magically be your best year ever unless you take deliberate steps on making it be the best year ever for you and yours.
Do not mind all those you too can aspire, perspire and refire your maguire people oh! Put in the work, say the prayers, say the No(s) that have to be said, hold on to faith, believe and where you need to, sweat it out!
Happy New Year!
xoxo
Monday, 27 July 2020
HIGHLANDS (SONG OF ASCENT)
Saturday, 18 July 2020
Gender Reveal!
E shock you/ too? |