More Than Just A Slap

I always knew I'd write about this someday. You see, I have never been ashamed to say "I have been beaten before oh" yet I have dreaded writing about it. I think it is the fear of having to re-live the day but for some reason, since my blog sister Funmi Reese wrote on that Just one slap she received from a guy she wasn't even really dating, I knew it was time to share my experience. I don't get it, you are trying to get a girl to be with you and you don dey land am slap? What a wise man.

This past week i have heard about three ladies who have received a slap, 3 slaps and the last one got beaten blue/black by their husbands. Yes, this is like a whole different scale from mine and Ms Reese's experience because it was by their husbands. The same men who swore to love and protect them. What do you say to a woman whose husband beat up? Hit him back? Leave him? Threaten to do something to him? I don't want to go into that now.

I read about women who were killed by their husbands and boyfriends for one reason or the other and I am glad I walked away when I did. Even when his family called me to beg, even when he'd stalk me (that was another bad sign) I knew I had to be strong for myself and resist. A lot of people begged me to go back to him but i kept saying OYO is your own *in Rita Dominic's voice*  Next time I get beaten, you will come and tell me sorry and go ba?

What did i do when it happened to me? I ran away. Literally and figuratively I left him and never looked back because I didn't come to this world to be any body's punching bag. If it was Just one slap like my Sissy got, I probably would have tried to defend myself that day (bad idea, run! always run) but how do you defend yourself from a person that much bigger than you? My poor self weighed about 50kg back then and i think he would have been close to a 100kg. *Shey i was looking for a tall, well built bobo?*

 Did i mention how my own first slap landed about 5 minutes after we prayed? Actually, he prayed to God to "restore our relationship....." Maybe God told him no and it vexed him?

When the first slap landed, I think I heard a choir singing from afar and I am pretty sure I saw and heard birds singing all over the room and then there was darkness. That was the #adonbilivit phase which lasted just a second as I was jolted back to reality with another slap. I was thoroughly beaten up by this person I had been with for four years. This person whom i was sure "loved me", a  person whom I was to be married to.

And this is how Ms Reese described what happened after she was landed the slap "I think I saw the nine planets and some constellations.lol. It was that brutal.Mind you,it was just that one slap oh,but I saw many many many things. That one slap was enough." *RME* Just for one slap?Did I mention I got more than a slap? And my darling TIBS  said "my life flashed before me in a 360 degree angle....I saw dinosaurs....(you know they are extinct right?) Mami...I saw a dinosaur heading for me after that slap....and I felt like frankenstein...it was like the slap broke my face into bits......" And this is just from ladies I got in contact with recently. I wonder how many more aren't speaking out or running away.

We had been going through a rough patch in the relationship and I made up my mind to end it. And that was my offence. I should have seen it coming as he had threatened to kill me and kill himself if i didn't change my mind about breaking up with him.Of course stubborn me said no, he hit me so hard I was sure I was going to pass out. I was able to run out when I begged him to let me get my inhaler from my bag and he let me (first time in my life I thanked God for being asthmatic). I knew I had to run out or I'd become a statistic. No. scratch that, no one takes statistics here. I would have just been a topic on some blogs for a few days and that would be it.

I dont care what I did or said that day, I know I did not deserve for that to happen to me. When some people ask me why I am quick to say I was beaten up, I say BECAUSE IT HAPPENED! It is a shame that women are being encouraged to keep quiet about it. Why? I have nothing to be ashamed of. He should be ashamed of what he did, I shouldn't be. Wasn't the swollen lip and battered face enough? Why should I carry his shame? That is his cross not mine please.

 Every woman has to know that she is worth so much more than a punching bag to an angry, insecure man. Walk away pleaseand trust that God will bring to you a man that will love you the way you should be loved. I walked away and I found that person.

Please visit www.funmireese.blogspot.com to read her story.

xxo

PS.
It just occurred to me that it is Oscar Pistorius' day in court. He will find out if he is going to jail for killing his girlfriend in his house last year or not. I guess it is a good day for this post then. May Reeva's soul RIP. Amen