My First Halloween

Hey peoples! As you all know, It was Halloween a couple of weeks ago.

I must say folk here sure do take their Halloween seriously! There were all kinds of spooky decor in the shops, people decorated their houses and cars. And to my Nigerian self, I would say it was errr…. interesting.

A neighbor 4 houses down actually had what I would say was the best Halloween decor in town. If there were awards for that, I’m sure he’d have taken it home. It was what it should be… ghosts, ghouls, huge spiders and the works. In fact, I have decided to just get an arrow,  point it to his house and ‘DITTO’ if he keeps the same energy for Christmas. 

Anyways, as the day drew closer, them kids started talking about costumes, I succumbed and asked what/who  they wanted to dress as… That’s how Kay said she wants to be a Cop and the Madam Em said she wants to be a Bat. 

Hian! 

All the Nigerian in me heard was SARS and winch. 

Ehn? 

In which house?

Please, please, is my Nigerian-ness a joke to these kids? 

Anyways, I said mba, no! Nobody is dressing as a bat in this house, we can manage the olopa but I am too Nigerian to agree to the bat costume. I quickly got the bat lady to repeat “I am not a bat in Jesus name” after me. I even considered giving her small anointing oil to drink and wash away such thoughts from her head after which I declared she was going to dress as an Angel.

I wouldn’t have it any other way and being the Angel she truly is, Em agreed (not that she had a choice) and she looked so lovely in her Angel costume on the day of…

The Nigerian Momma in me was pleased… 😊 

It was a complete costume set which came with a white dress, a halo, a wand and wings. 

Now while I’m not sure what Angels use wands for it looked nice and she was happy to have it… I was in my Momma win mode when  this child looked at me, pointed the wand at me and said “mommy I’m going to turn you into a frog”.

Egba mii oh! How did we get here? I knew I should have given her anointing oil to drink the other day. I really should have!

Me thinking of what to do to the child.

How did my Angel turn to a frog turning somebody?

Anyways, the look of bad eye she got from me was enough for her and her wand to quietly walk away from me.

The kids weren’t allowed to go ‘trick or treating’ as we are still cautious of the ‘rona and me I didn’t have power to go and do babiyanla  and no kids came to ours either, which means other people are also being cautious or our neighborhood is full of snubs…

Anyways, that’s it for my first Halloween, nothing much, just interesting…

Maybe next year I dress up…yes?

Oya suggest costumes for me. 

xoxo

Naija Mom Fail?

Did you ever think of the day that you would have a child and ‘payback’ some of the stuff our mothers did to us?

Yes? Correct person!

No? So I am the only weird one?

Me sha, I always looked forward to the day I will tell my child ‘come and put it in my nose’ or ‘come and put it on my head’. Hmmmm my people, me that I have been priding myself as a correct Naija momma, especially since the day my kids  madams happily waited for ice cream only to find kpomo in the ice cream bowl. 

Oh my! That’s was a very happy day for me, the day I earned major points as a Naija mother. I wish I had a candid photo to show the level of disappointment on their faces when they opened the bowl to get ‘ice cream’. 

Tihihihi... but I got a picture of the ‘ice cream’ or should I call it ponm-cream?

😁

They are even lucky that it was something edible in the bowl, unlike when we had thread and needle and a complete sewing kit in Danish biscuit tins or even full on egusi soup with better palm oil staring at you when you open ‘fan ice’ container...

Are you then wondering why I titled this post ‘...fail’ if I had already gotten points? 

Toh,  I will gist you. 

So, there I was, basking in the euphoria of earning Naija momma points with my ice cream bowl of ponmo and this child of mine came to ask where to keep her plate and I said ‘keep it on my head’. 

My people, my people that is how she actually, I mean this child actually took 2 steps towards me!

Then she stoped and said ‘huh?’

....ah! I thought to myself that the ancestors must have seen what was about to happen and whispered the gospel to her at that very crucial moment in her life. 

Because ehn...?!!

And she actually looked confused when I said ‘Dear child, thank thine ancestors for the save, please.’ 

You see how I almost lost points? Not just momma points oh, Naija momma points! Kai, it pained me! Now I have to go to my arsenal and pull out all the Naija mom-ness-ability I can pull out and go full on Naija Mama on ‘em kids! 

But I have to stop falling my own hands like I did today... that’s how I was shouting 

‘who wants chips?

‘I said who wants chips?’

‘Can’t you guys hear me?’

‘I will change my mind oh’ 

And I was thinking shooo? How can I be trying to feed them and they are just staring at me like this, not saying anything?

Next thing I heard, as I had turned to bless them with the look was ‘Oh, I think she means French fries...right mommy?’

Mogbe! I have do myself... that’s how I just jejely said ‘ehn, French fries, that’s chips na!’ 

I shall be taking my L on this one sha as I think of ways to put small Naija-ness in ‘em kids.

Please share with me any of the stunts I can pull oh! I must recover my almost lost points. 

I refuse to carry a badge of Naija Momma fail, lai lai, it can’t happen!

Pray with me!

xoxo