Culture Shock!

Merriam-Webster describes culture shock as a sense of confusion and uncertainty sometimes with feelings of anxiety that may affect people exposed to an alien culture or environment without adequate preparation

Y’all, prepared for some ish I definitely was not, I can tell you that for sure because I have experienced all kinds of this confusion since I got to this Biden’s America and I’ll be gisting you about a few of those. 

So you know how on the 1st of October every year, to celebrate Naija Independence day, no one stays home cz we be outside chilling and chopping wherever we go? Hmmmm that is how on my first 4th of July here, I declared I wasn’t cooking, we shall go out and do this the Naija way.

Haaaaaa *wipes lone tear*

That is how we went out and drove the whole length and width of this town looking for where to eat. Tell me why not even one restaurant was open.

We even drove to the next town about 20 mins away. Guess what? 

Yup, you got it right. It was a ghost town. No food, no hanging out, nada!

So what happens here as against our deck up and go out is everyone stays home and does a bbq; basically hang out with family and friends and throw knock out at night. The knock out is always amazing so I wont complain much.

Now, to the more shocking experience for me… 

That is how I have not gone to church on Christmas Day since I came here oh! Ah, a whole Christmas Day and I’m getting a message the day before about how we should all spend time with family and have a blessed day.

Ahhh! Will  my Christmas cloth wear itself? So there will be no dancing and plenty offerings? We will not stay in church for extra time as our own part of omugwu for Jesus’ birth?

Oya what am I supposed to be doing at home on Christmas Day? No church, no outing cz everywhere is closed as usual. 

#Sigh

Did you just ask yourself what happens on New Year’s Eve and day of? Hmmmm no crossover service, no dancing in church till midnight and screaming ‘happy new year’ at mid night. 

You want to know the worst one of all? 

I was gobsmacked when I realized I would have to pump gas in my car, all by myself! Like why? Why can’t I just sit like the baby girl that I am and have someone else on it like I do back home? Why do i have to come down from the car, take the nozzle and pump? This is definitely something I still can’t get used to and because of this, my tank is always red before I pump gas.

Well, well, what can I say? Na who send me come, abi?

Oh, another one. If you go to buy fresh fish, this is what you will get. No head, no skin….                                 

                                                   

How does a Bachama girl survive this? Fish no head? 

*Wipes lone tear*

Thank God for the African shops that ship full fish as it was meant to be; head and skin intact!

Oh, don’t go and be confused like me when you order fried fish in the restaurants and get this ↓.

And the kind of things my eyes saw in New Orleans when I attended a concert during the Essence festival ehn? Gist for another day.

Sooo, now it’s your turn, tell me about the biggest culture shock you’ve experienced, locally or internationally. 

Xoxo

Ps: there’s  more oh but these are the ones I choose to talk about today, I will fill y’all up with time.

To Thine Own Self, Be True…

Hey Peoples!

It’s been a minute. 

I know, I know… just that life has been lifing.

#whew!

So a conversation happened that got me thinking… so much so that it made me want to get serious-ish with stuff, with the blog and maybe more. 

Ok, let me gist you. The other day, I attended a friend’s birthday party and the celebrant introduced me to another guest and this happened. 

Celebrant to Lady: you’ve met my friend, right?

Lady: No, I don’t think I have.

Me: shakes head as mouth was busy with sweet puff puff

Celebrant to lady: This is AA’s wife.

Lady lights up: Oh, you’re the writer!

Me to myself: Writer bawo? *swallows puff puff*

Me to nice lady: Oh no, I am not a writer.

Nice lady: You know XYZ in Shreveport, right? She told me about y’all and she says you’re a writer.

Me still confused: Yes, I know her but I am not a writer.

At this point, another friend, Momma Ify, who was with us looks at me and says ‘but you write naa, how about your blog?’

Me in a state of lol: Ehn but that is not writing writing like that naa…

At this point, momma Ify went ahead to make my head swell by saying how much of a good writer she thinks I am. I sha stood there accepting the hype but not with full chest cz who are y’all talking about?!

I however remember I met the lady from Shreveport through my blog page on the ‘gram and I thought to myself, so like this now, this lady has been seeing me as, and introducing me as a writer and I’ve never considered myself  one?

What does it even mean to be a writer? I know I enjoy doing this and I started cz I wanted to put down my feelings on stuff, opinions and the occasional amebo out there and for no one in particular, I just wanted a fun type thing. I also started anonymously because I was not confident in my writing and not sure anyone would even be interested in reading it.

But this lady saw me as a writer *sneakering*.  She saw me as more than I saw myself and that made me feel good and then it made me feel bad about myself. I felt good because I felt ‘seen’ then I felt bad because I didn’t see myself. 

I always shied away from saying I had a blog and even when I began to say that I did, I always felt I was not writing anything serious which is why I only sent links to posts to my close friends only. There would be days I’d go through others’ blogs and ask myself why I do not write ‘serious’ stuff in a serious tone like they do. Then I’ll will myself to write like them but whenever I do, it just does not feel like me *does that even make sense?*

Anyways, after thinking long and hard, I have now decided to be me, to embrace my writing style and generally, to myself, be true.

So please allow me to introduce myself…*shouting on top of my lungs* My name is Zandaborom *whispers* and I am a writer.

Stay hydrated.

xoxo

PS: I don’t even know if this post title even gels like that but that was what popped up in my head when I thought of writing about this and I went with it.

For my girl… and yours!

Every year since the year 2011, the world has celebrated the Girl Child and every year has had its unique theme.

Basically, this day was created to recognize girls’ rights and the unique challenges girls face around the world.  I will not go into the history of this and all and if you want to know, google is ya friend…😁

This year, the 11th of October was the day for the girl child and the theme was ‘Invest in the Girls’ rights: Our leadership, Our wellbeing.’ Straight to the point abi? So I do not need to say anything more about this. The theme says it all. 

What amazes me though is the fact that even now, there are people who do not think the girl child needs or deserves to the ‘invested’ in. It is funny because when I look around me, I see the girl child doing great things, I see girls breaking all kinds of records, I see girls achieving so much, I see girls making their parents proud in every aspect of life. 

I do not understand it as everyday when I look at  my child, I am always in awe! 

My girl.The past week, I got emotional whenever I looked at her; thinking about how she was about to turn one already. 

I know right? No be yesterday I born am?

*wipes lone tear*

See ehn, one thing this momma knows for sure is that I am going to invest in her rights, in her well-being and in everything that concern her and I know I have to start this investment now. I have to start sowing seeds in her life, I have to start calling forth things that are not as though they were. I know I have to ‘speak’ the kind of life I want her to have in future. 

My first choice of investment in her life is prayer. 

My Pwavira… my little feisty munchkin with the sloppiest kisses, as your mother, I bless you! 

As your mother, I speak grace, grace, grace, grace upon your life.

As your mother, I pray the fruits of the Spirit grow and manifest in you. 

I speak the blessings of a mother over you.

My girl. 

My gift from God, the favored of God… amen to your aunt TBK prayer; you will surely run, overtake and win always!

I stand upon The Word as I declare no weapon fashioned against you shall prosper; the Lord shall contend with anyone who contends with you… 

Pwavira, you will excel in all you do. You will reach the peak of any mountain you choose to climb.

Your name will be heard and you will be known in your generation for greatness. 

You will be humble even as you excel, you will know empathy, you will love and I pray you be loved the way you want to be loved and the way you deserve to be loved.

May laughter never cease in your life… 

May your beauty within surpass your physical beauty.

Mamah, as you turn one today, I do not have the words to express my gratitude to God for these 365 days shared with you. I have felt all kinds of emotions, I have discovered emotions I did not know existed… 

All I can say for now is Usoko Homumpwa!

And to every ‘girl child’ in my life, I pray same for you. I look forward to seeing you all grow and become the bests and greatests in your generations.  My Keeks, my Ro, Zee & Mimi, Jayda & Tehila, Ace, Isabel, Eneyi, Kidada, Lentapwa, Sophia, Kamila, Zara, Carla &Casey, Mitchel & Maya, Pearl, Ruby, Zoe, Aafreen & Salma, Lolu, Beulah, Tabitha, Vira & Pwamoreino, Finyi, Yasmin & Nadine, Abby, Kayla, Jayda, Cordelia, Khadija, Jahzeerah & Jacqlin, Jaleesah, Petra & Epiphany, Sheila & Janelle, Michelle, Latisha & Tehila, Aurelia, Aisha & Sa’adatu, Kiiva & Talia, Diane, Ellen and my brand new babies, Esther and Elizabeth… 

I pray your worth is seen, I pray for the grace and strength and provision for us parents to invest in your lives, I really can’t wait to see who you all grow up to become, I however know that you will make us proud, I know you will break and shatter whatever glass ceiling you choose to aim. Stay loved, babies!

To our dear angel baby, Kasinma, you were dearly loved.  You are still loved and sorely missed. 🕊

Today, I celebrate mine and every amazing little girl in our worlds.

xoxo

Ps: Inzei and Lu, you too… 😁

EVER BEEN SERVED?

 

It was Valentine’s day just a few days ago and I was a happy somebody. 

Happy because I am a sucker for love, I love love…So much so that I have appointed myself the president of the Awwww Association. 

Which meant on Val’s day, I was on duty, busy roaming the streets of the ‘gram, surfing my contacts’ WhatsApp status’ and I even found my way to the bird app in search for awww moments for which I awww-ed  and awwwww-ed and smiled and was happy for the Val-ed. 

But you know how this life is now, I also came across some servings of breakfast (if you don’t gerrit, forget abourrit) Some were hot and some were cold, coooold, which made me quite unhappy but I am hopeful for all those who were served; hopefully by next year, I will awwwwn with them (if you’re on this table, say amen!) as heartbreak isn’t cool at all and I’m sure we  you all know a thing or two about this. (Wanna share?).

Back to love… love is a beautiful thing and good relationships are amazing and break-ups? They suck, which ever way they are served suck! 

But I want to talk about a different kind of break-up today.

I want to talk about friendship break-ups. 

Do like this ✋if you’ve been served this special kind of breakfast. 

I am doing like this ✋with my full chest as it has happened to me. 

Not once.

(Wipes lone tear)

Have you ever woken up one day and realize that, you have become strangers with your person? The one person whom you have shared laughs, secrets, cried together with, to and for? The one person who was your gist partner, who would go all FBI and gangster on any one who tried to mess with you, your gossip partner, the one whom you’ve shared so many meals with.

                                                       

Like I said earlier, it has happened to me…

Not once…

(Wipes lone tear…again)

…and it hurt. It hurt because I don’t make friends as easily as others, so I hold my friends dear; my girls know this. Now, if you make it to my holy of holies (HOH)…sigh! Imagine a senior member of the HOH ghosting and becoming a stranger… ko da now! 

I see all these quotes about how if you lose a friend, they were never your friend to begin with; I don’t agree because the good times were good, it was real and it was good and it was amazing and we had loads of fun; so I would rather believe that ‘some people are in your life for a time or purpose’ and when that is fulfilled, they move…you move (just like that 💃… see what i did there?)  

Some broken friendships are fixed, broken up friends make up and are able to work through whatever issues they had (psssst Omofeba),  some are back-ish but not where they used to be; some are just dead and gone and there is just no going back; which is also ok. So whatever level you are now, maybe accept it as it is, apologize if you are wrong, find out if maybe you did wrong and don’t even know it… that’s what I did; for closure: I guess.  And I am glad I did, I am happy where we are. I am happy with the friends I have now and it is what it is!

So do you, if you want, how you want…

xoxo

PS. If you are reading this, I want you to know that I’ll always be here if you need me.

PSS.. I know I am cool like that.

My First Thanksgiving…

Hey peoples,

I told you about my first Halloween here right? Well, I think it is only fair to tell you about my first Thanksgiving day here as well..

So, it was Thanksgiving day on Thursday and I enjoyed every bit of it. Basically, Thanksgiving day is a national holiday in the US and it occurs on the 4th Thursday of November every year. It is an old tradition dating back to 1621; it is a day Americans gather for a day of feasting and well… giving thanks.

But ehn I was just looking all around and wondering how this is thanksgiving day… and not a single gele was in sight? 

Ha! I laugh in Family Worship Center Multicolored Geles of all shapes and sizes.

 

My brain found it difficult to process a thanksgiving day sans gele; so much so that I stood by the window looking at passers by, hoping I’d see one person all gele’ ed up because the Nigerian in me can’t understand how I’m not seeing fully decked up folk rushing to church… didn’t they say thanksgiving day? So its just sit at home and eat? Ok, I can do that also!  

But y’all know I can’t let you down right? So I put in some Naija thanksgiving day spice by dressing up in my lovely Ankara skirt and blouse designed by the one and only @lytanistitches (check her on the gram and thank me later) I looked Naija thanksgiving day ready and  carried on Thanksgiving the American way. It was a memorable day, Kids were excited to have a full turkey to feast on, I was super glad I didn’t have to cook but sit pretty to eat.

In the spirit of the day, I thank God for me and my family… this year has been crazy! 

I have been met with the worse and most painful loses. I have felt pain physically and emotionally, I’ve been humbled, my faith took a hit but I am here, I am healing, I am learning to take it a day at a time and my faith in God is totally restored. I am thankful for my walk with God. I am thankful for the me I am right now.

And I am especially thankful for you, for reading my musings and making me happy knowing that at least one person out there is reading what I write even though I am not consistent in dropping gist  life gems. Thank you and please keep clicking and reading and don’t get tired. 

Well, that’s it for thanksgiving and I am sooo looking forward to Christmas because ehn, this my little town is a town of shan’t gree for Christmas! Lights have been up since mid November and right now, people have put up all kinds of amazing, amazing Christmas decors that I just drive around and get my fix. I am soooo looking forward to the annual Christmas festival; which would be the 95th and kicks off on Saturday! Can you beat that? As its my first one here, the Christmas junkie in me can’t wait! You can check out #NatchitochesChristmas on the gram or twitter to see what I’m talking about, I promise, you’ll love it! It’s crazy awesome. 

I just know it is going to be amazing because the way they are going about it, one is tempted to think it is from here Mary went to Bethlehem to give birth to Jesus. 

So yes, I will be back… with #NatchitochesChristmas gist.

Hasta la vista

Tihihihi….did you see what I did there?

xo

My First Halloween

Hey peoples! As you all know, It was Halloween a couple of weeks ago.

I must say folk here sure do take their Halloween seriously! There were all kinds of spooky decor in the shops, people decorated their houses and cars. And to my Nigerian self, I would say it was errr…. interesting.

A neighbor 4 houses down actually had what I would say was the best Halloween decor in town. If there were awards for that, I’m sure he’d have taken it home. It was what it should be… ghosts, ghouls, huge spiders and the works. In fact, I have decided to just get an arrow,  point it to his house and ‘DITTO’ if he keeps the same energy for Christmas. 

Anyways, as the day drew closer, them kids started talking about costumes, I succumbed and asked what/who  they wanted to dress as… That’s how Kay said she wants to be a Cop and the Madam Em said she wants to be a Bat. 

Hian! 

All the Nigerian in me heard was SARS and winch. 

Ehn? 

In which house?

Please, please, is my Nigerian-ness a joke to these kids? 

Anyways, I said mba, no! Nobody is dressing as a bat in this house, we can manage the olopa but I am too Nigerian to agree to the bat costume. I quickly got the bat lady to repeat “I am not a bat in Jesus name” after me. I even considered giving her small anointing oil to drink and wash away such thoughts from her head after which I declared she was going to dress as an Angel.

I wouldn’t have it any other way and being the Angel she truly is, Em agreed (not that she had a choice) and she looked so lovely in her Angel costume on the day of…

The Nigerian Momma in me was pleased… 😊 

It was a complete costume set which came with a white dress, a halo, a wand and wings. 

Now while I’m not sure what Angels use wands for it looked nice and she was happy to have it… I was in my Momma win mode when  this child looked at me, pointed the wand at me and said “mommy I’m going to turn you into a frog”.

Egba mii oh! How did we get here? I knew I should have given her anointing oil to drink the other day. I really should have!

Me thinking of what to do to the child.

How did my Angel turn to a frog turning somebody?

Anyways, the look of bad eye she got from me was enough for her and her wand to quietly walk away from me.

The kids weren’t allowed to go ‘trick or treating’ as we are still cautious of the ‘rona and me I didn’t have power to go and do babiyanla  and no kids came to ours either, which means other people are also being cautious or our neighborhood is full of snubs…

Anyways, that’s it for my first Halloween, nothing much, just interesting…

Maybe next year I dress up…yes?

Oya suggest costumes for me. 

xoxo