Six months ago, my world stood still…
My heart; broken into a million pieces…
3rd of May 2021…
An Angel gained his wings…
God called My father home.
Yeah, my last post here was full of excitement and all, little did i know that 3 days later, my world as I knew it would shake.
And it did shake!
Hmmmmmmm!!!! No words can ever describe how it feels so I’ll not talk about it.
Anyways, traditionally, today is the official end of the mourning period.
Yes, my culture says ‘we move’ after 6 months… but how does one really ‘move on’ when there are days it hits soo hard and feels all fresh like I just got the news?
How does one move on when there are days that come with strong urges to hear his voice?
To hear him say ‘that’s my dautar!’ and literally hear the pride and love in his voice?
I wish he was here for me to have a laugh with and laugh at when he’d text ‘SOS, some recharge card please if you can’. I thank God that I was always able to can.
I am glad I did all in my power to make my father happy and proud but i wish he lived longer for me to do more… I had plans to do so much more.
Through all this though, I thank God for the life he lived, for the lessons i learnt from him.
I am glad I am his dautar. I would not change anything or edit a day even if I could.
My father was the MVP of fathers.
My father was good, he really was and I’m not even saying this because he was my father.
He really was a good person.
He showed me how to love.
He thought me bwaraune.
He thought me contentment.
Through him, I understood patience.
He was wise.
He never raised his voice even when he was angry.
He corrected in love.
He loved him a good plate of fish peppersoup and if people were awarded for eating tuwo, we’d have dozens of awards hanging in the house.
My father was very peaceful.
He was the one who would give water to the thirsty, feed the hungry and give the shirt on his back to a stranger; and when we complained that he was doing too much, he’d say ‘my friend, don’t worry, God will provide’ and God provided.
Always!
So somehow through the hurt, the denial, the anger, the grieve, through the rough days wondering when it will get better, we have and I pray we continue to find ways and reasons to smile again because that is what he would want for us…
Keep smiling, James Habba Alson, the Angel who gained his wings though our hearts were not ready.
You are sorely missed, Baba.
❤
