If I shan’t ‘gree was a person

It’d definitely be me.

Listen, by the time you read about the level of I shan’t gree-ness I pulled off, you’d agree with me that ‘if I shan’t gree was a person, it would definitely be me’.

Don’t wonder too much, I’ll gist you. 

So back in February ‘24, I saw the promo(?) for the Good News Tour by Marveric  City Music and I saw that they were coming to my state.

I knew I wanted to attend the concert, I wanted to be there so bad and I said to myself:

Self?

Myself said to me: yes?

I said to myself: How do we do this?

Myself said to me: You already know, girl!

So I cooked correct tuwon shinkafa and egusi for The Half and practiced my ‘I wan go concert’ pitch… Cz errm it is going to be in a city almost 5 hours away from home. 

So sha, my pitch worked and we got tickets, not just any ticket, cz oga said “for you to be this excited and even come up with this type of presentation just to attend, I know you really want it.” (Though i secretly think him sef been wan go)

Listen, I didn’t just get tickets, I got Diamond VIP tickets (small thing I for faint with excitement). Like we will be in the front, front, very close to the stage I’d imagine I could see inside their nostrils if I looked well…and we also get to meet with the group and talk to them before the show begins!

So, tickets bought in February,

Concert is in November,

The wait starts,

Me and the calendar became best friends.

March, April, May…..and it was November…yay!!!

My excitement heightened. I could not wait for the day. 

Now tell me why 9 days to the day, I had to be taken to the ER, sick as a dog and I was scheduled for surgery exactly a week to this concert. 

It was at that point I understood why anyone would use the phrase  “you dey whine me?”

Cz what in the what what what is going on?? 

Me that have bought concert clothes and boots, (cz we gon praise ‘n drip) to go and jump and sing and be as loud as I can cz maybe somehow Chandler Moore would hear me and invite me to come and join them to sing. 

That’s how I looked at the devil and I laughed and I said ‘devil’, 

devil said ‘huh’

I said ‘ya not serious, you’ve come for the wrong one’. 

Anyways, I had surgery on the 14th, a week to the concert. It was brutal; excruciating pain doesn’t even begin to describe it. Three days after surgery, I was still in pain but somehow through it, with prayer and shan’t greeness, the thought of canceling never crossed my mind. 

 Two days to the concert, I had to prepare another pitch for The Half to convince him on why I needed to go and how badly I wanted this… bless him, he agreed. 😁

And it was Friday the 22nd!

I had to go see my Dr for a post op check up and off we went!

Listen, when I tell you it was worth every discomfort I felt on the way, I mean that! 

It was a super amazing concert. It wasn’t just a ‘show’, it was a praise and worship session and I am so glad to say “shame on you, devil!

I told you, you got the wrong one!”

So yeah, I didn’t gree and I made it and it was so so great!

Even though I missed the VIP experience of meeting with them before the show started, I am glad I was able to attend at all, and we got our souvenirs saved for us. 

So, yay!

I am so thankful to God that I came out with just scars from the surgery.

I am healing and mending nicely and I am happy!

I say a big thank you to my family, my friends, my Ms and everyone who sent a prayer my way when I was sick.

I am big on the THANK YOU, LORD!!!!! 

Ok, ok let me share more photos and videos and hope by a glimpse, you understand how blessed i feel to have been able to attend the concert.  

                                                 This is the set list if you want to create a playlist

                                                                        Tasha Cobbs

                                                                Chandler Moore

Naomi Raine 

PS: For some reason, videos would not upload, I will add them whenever i am able to.

PSS: I am sorry for the fonts not fonting, i kept trying to fix that but i could not. Anyone know what i can do to fix it?

Mo What?

Mo what? 

Movember! 

What’s that you ask? 

Let me tell you how I found out about it before I tell you what it is. 

Fair deal, yes?

Ok, so I saw a picture of a friend of mine whom I’ve known to keep beards before beard gang became a thing….and he was sans beards!!

He had shaved it all off! 

My flabber was gasted and I had to ask him pe, whattapun?! 

Let’s call this my friend ‘Yellow’ as we go on, shall we? 

Yellow went ahead to tell me he shaved it off for Movember. 

I was wondering if Movember was a babe that got this bros to shave off beards I know he loved to have and flaunt. But let it not be that I am jumping into conclusions, so I asked Yellow warris Movember? 

And he basically said ‘Google is your friend’ without saying ‘Google is your friend’ cz he sent me a link to check it out for myself. 

So the  Movember movement is actually a thing and it’s been around for a while. Google tells me The Movember Foundation is a global charity that funds and raises awareness for men’s health. With the foundation’s mission being to help men live longer, healthier and happier lives.  

It was founded in 2003 by Adam Garone and 3 others, the purpose of this movement is simple; helping men live happier, healthier and longer lives…

This foundation runs an annual charity event, with a goal to change the face of men’s health by encouraging men (who the charity refers to as Mo Bros to get involved… So what men do during Movember is that they grow a mustache for the month, getting friends, family and colleagues to donate to their effort. 

There’s so much more to this foundation, I tell y’all and I’m here for it. I’m glad someone started this for the men to feel seen and heard and cared for cz there are so many causes for women out there and you barely hear of any for men. So please next time you put up a pink ribbon or something in honor of women, kindly add a ‘stach to include the men in acknowledgment of struggles men face and are rarely spoken of cz as the society says they are men!

Well, well, did you know about this? 

No? 

Well, you’re welcome and thanks to Yellow for sending me to find out about it all by myself instead of just telling me. And if this interests you, please go ahead and read up some more about this cause and see if you will be interested in any of the challenges for the charity events. 

Me sef I’ve plucked the two bia bia I have in support of the movement.  

So which of you Vira’s blog bros are going to become Mo Bros after reading this?

As always, thank you for stopping by.

xoxo

Hard Guy in Tha Mud!

Y’all!

Y’all!!! 

Omoooh! 

Let me first of all start by apologizing to all the Mommas I Yimu-ed for being emotional on their babies’ first day of school.

Because, what is this feeling?!

Abi I should go back to school and wait in the parking lot? 

Listen, my heart is too fragile for this, I could literally feel my blood pressure rise after I dropped her off… I am not lying. 

So she was supposed to start on Monday, thankfully it was a public holiday so she did not go. 

So Tuesday, right? Toh, that’s how my chest started doing kikum kikum kikum.

Then I said to myself: self?

Myself said to me: yes?

And I said to myself: What is this feeling?

And myself said to me: if you ask me, na who I go ask? 

So, ladies and gentlemen, as I am sure you already know where this is going, that is how my baby did not go to school on Tuesday. Then today came and as school fees cannot waste, I chopped liver and took my baby to ‘school’ 

My girl!

*wipes lone tear* 

See the thing is this, I didn’t know how fragile me heart really is… I was forming hard guy when planning to register her in school cz a person that would fart and say “Eskiss me”, is most definitely ready to go to school. What I did not know however is that I, the momma was not ready. *insert wailing emoji*

Which is why I shamelessly sat in front of the school for over 20 mins after I dropped her off, contemplating my choices as I may or may not have shed a or some tears. 

And the anty did not send me at all, she waved and said ‘bye sheeee youuuu’.

*Clutches pearls*

So this girl will not even look at me and cry small? 

What a betrayed! 😪   

Y’all!

Y’all, send me hugs. Wish my baby a great ‘school’ year. 

Say a prayer for her and send me hugs as I start planning to buy JAMB forms.

xoxo 

Culture Shock!

Merriam-Webster describes culture shock as a sense of confusion and uncertainty sometimes with feelings of anxiety that may affect people exposed to an alien culture or environment without adequate preparation

Y’all, prepared for some ish I definitely was not, I can tell you that for sure because I have experienced all kinds of this confusion since I got to this Biden’s America and I’ll be gisting you about a few of those. 

So you know how on the 1st of October every year, to celebrate Naija Independence day, no one stays home cz we be outside chilling and chopping wherever we go? Hmmmm that is how on my first 4th of July here, I declared I wasn’t cooking, we shall go out and do this the Naija way.

Haaaaaa *wipes lone tear*

That is how we went out and drove the whole length and width of this town looking for where to eat. Tell me why not even one restaurant was open.

We even drove to the next town about 20 mins away. Guess what? 

Yup, you got it right. It was a ghost town. No food, no hanging out, nada!

So what happens here as against our deck up and go out is everyone stays home and does a bbq; basically hang out with family and friends and throw knock out at night. The knock out is always amazing so I wont complain much.

Now, to the more shocking experience for me… 

That is how I have not gone to church on Christmas Day since I came here oh! Ah, a whole Christmas Day and I’m getting a message the day before about how we should all spend time with family and have a blessed day.

Ahhh! Will  my Christmas cloth wear itself? So there will be no dancing and plenty offerings? We will not stay in church for extra time as our own part of omugwu for Jesus’ birth?

Oya what am I supposed to be doing at home on Christmas Day? No church, no outing cz everywhere is closed as usual. 

#Sigh

Did you just ask yourself what happens on New Year’s Eve and day of? Hmmmm no crossover service, no dancing in church till midnight and screaming ‘happy new year’ at mid night. 

You want to know the worst one of all? 

I was gobsmacked when I realized I would have to pump gas in my car, all by myself! Like why? Why can’t I just sit like the baby girl that I am and have someone else on it like I do back home? Why do i have to come down from the car, take the nozzle and pump? This is definitely something I still can’t get used to and because of this, my tank is always red before I pump gas.

Well, well, what can I say? Na who send me come, abi?

Oh, another one. If you go to buy fresh fish, this is what you will get. No head, no skin….                                 

                                                   

How does a Bachama girl survive this? Fish no head? 

*Wipes lone tear*

Thank God for the African shops that ship full fish as it was meant to be; head and skin intact!

Oh, don’t go and be confused like me when you order fried fish in the restaurants and get this ↓.

And the kind of things my eyes saw in New Orleans when I attended a concert during the Essence festival ehn? Gist for another day.

Sooo, now it’s your turn, tell me about the biggest culture shock you’ve experienced, locally or internationally. 

Xoxo

Ps: there’s  more oh but these are the ones I choose to talk about today, I will fill y’all up with time.

To Thine Own Self, Be True…

Hey Peoples!

It’s been a minute. 

I know, I know… just that life has been lifing.

#whew!

So a conversation happened that got me thinking… so much so that it made me want to get serious-ish with stuff, with the blog and maybe more. 

Ok, let me gist you. The other day, I attended a friend’s birthday party and the celebrant introduced me to another guest and this happened. 

Celebrant to Lady: you’ve met my friend, right?

Lady: No, I don’t think I have.

Me: shakes head as mouth was busy with sweet puff puff

Celebrant to lady: This is AA’s wife.

Lady lights up: Oh, you’re the writer!

Me to myself: Writer bawo? *swallows puff puff*

Me to nice lady: Oh no, I am not a writer.

Nice lady: You know XYZ in Shreveport, right? She told me about y’all and she says you’re a writer.

Me still confused: Yes, I know her but I am not a writer.

At this point, another friend, Momma Ify, who was with us looks at me and says ‘but you write naa, how about your blog?’

Me in a state of lol: Ehn but that is not writing writing like that naa…

At this point, momma Ify went ahead to make my head swell by saying how much of a good writer she thinks I am. I sha stood there accepting the hype but not with full chest cz who are y’all talking about?!

I however remember I met the lady from Shreveport through my blog page on the ‘gram and I thought to myself, so like this now, this lady has been seeing me as, and introducing me as a writer and I’ve never considered myself  one?

What does it even mean to be a writer? I know I enjoy doing this and I started cz I wanted to put down my feelings on stuff, opinions and the occasional amebo out there and for no one in particular, I just wanted a fun type thing. I also started anonymously because I was not confident in my writing and not sure anyone would even be interested in reading it.

But this lady saw me as a writer *sneakering*.  She saw me as more than I saw myself and that made me feel good and then it made me feel bad about myself. I felt good because I felt ‘seen’ then I felt bad because I didn’t see myself. 

I always shied away from saying I had a blog and even when I began to say that I did, I always felt I was not writing anything serious which is why I only sent links to posts to my close friends only. There would be days I’d go through others’ blogs and ask myself why I do not write ‘serious’ stuff in a serious tone like they do. Then I’ll will myself to write like them but whenever I do, it just does not feel like me *does that even make sense?*

Anyways, after thinking long and hard, I have now decided to be me, to embrace my writing style and generally, to myself, be true.

So please allow me to introduce myself…*shouting on top of my lungs* My name is Zandaborom *whispers* and I am a writer.

Stay hydrated.

xoxo

PS: I don’t even know if this post title even gels like that but that was what popped up in my head when I thought of writing about this and I went with it.

WOMAN!

 

That is the only name my Father ever called me. 

Woman… 

I loved being called this by my father. 

It made me feel special. 

So so special.

I was Woman…

Everyday, just me, Woman to my Baba. 

I was happy. 

Sixteen years later, a little girl was born. 

My sister, the loveliest little thing ever and I adored her. I knew I loved her, but maybe I didn’t know  just how much I did till Baba began to call her Woman; I wanted so badly to feel jealous, but  I just could not. I was happy to share my special name with her and our bond grew and grew such that everyone knew she was special special to me.

She was my baby.

Mine to love and spoil and boi, love and spoil her did I do!

I loved her so… so much that I began to tell people I was her mom and I was always happy when those that did not know believed me. 

She was my baby.

From the first time she got a phone, her number was saved as ‘MaGold’ cz that is what she is to me.

She grew up so beautiful, so brilliant and was I proud of her! So so proud. Her intelligence made me feel better about my Olodo-ness as i would tell myself that I must have added part of my brain to hers. Don’t judge me, mans gotta make mans feel better about mans Olodo-ness. 

Now, let me tell you about my baby.

Ma’Gold, the Angel. 

A literal Angel with the sweetest smile ever.

So beautiful, so gentle, did I mention her brilliance? Truly an intelligent young woman.

An academic award winning Architect. 

An obedient lover of God.

A follower of Christ. 

A prayer warrior. 

A beautiful soul. 

A music lover. 

The sweetest girl.

Member, goshi gang. 

A true foodlum

Knowing her equals loving her.

Her beautiful smile would warm up every room she entered.

Her calm nature would bring peace. 

I’m sure if we ever saw her farts, they’d  glitter and her sneeze, like colorful musical notes.

The 2nd ‘Woman’ in Baba’s life.

Ma’Gold

My big brother’s baby.

My baby brother’s twin.

My sisters’ ajebo baby sis. 

Sammy’s Babies…

My baby girl…

On this international women’s day, I celebrate you. 

With tears in my eyes as i write this. I celebrate you. 

I celebrate your life, Ma.Gold.

I thank God for the opportunity to have loved you, you knew without a doubt how much I loved you. 

I will not be sad today, I promise.

I will close my eyes picture how on the 20th of January 2024 heaven must have erupted in applause when you walked in and Baba walking down the street of gold, with a smile and hug he must have asked ‘ah ah, Woman what are you doing here now?’

I love you forever and a day, Pwanedo Alson.